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Oh lol I don't know. A lot of guys dont actually adhere to any set list. Usually think with their small head and not much else. Keep putting yourself out there, you will catch something eventually. If you check all those then you are a great catch for some guy.
haha I always catch something...none of them have stayed. Oh well. My kindle is becoming my best friend lol.
Can't stand a woman that is always needing you and wanting you to do xyz. It is so annoying. I mean can I watch a movie, not text you right away, play a game, something without you needing my attention?!? Completely subjective. Wanting you to do XYZ once a month? a week? an hour?
2) Uptight
Can't have a woman that makes a big deal out of everything. I got to have an easy going chill woman. Your chill is another man's "way too laid back" and irresponsible
3) Dishonest
Can't trust a woman who lies. Moment I catch them in one its goodbye (something meaningful) Your already qualifying "lying". Your meaningful isn't someone else's. me? Any lie is a problem.
4) Unfaithful
Cheat once you might cheat again. Trust is lost. Good bye.
5) Controlling
Can't deal with a woman that thinks she is my boss or mother. You worry about your own self, I will worry about mine. We are two grown adults. Do not tell me I can't hangout with my boys on a Friday night. If you are going out every night and she has a problem with that it's controlling?
6) Jealous
Can't deal with a woman that questions me and get's her panties in a wad over every female that crosses my path. Is that path horizontal?
7) Argumentative
I don't mind a good debate so long as it is civil, but I am not trying to do this every day about dumb poo. It's annoying. Is that argumentative or a healthy debate. Definitions differ
8) Sensitive
This aint as bad as the others, but not really trying to walk on pins and needles everyday due to possibly upsetting you with something I say. Stop being a baby. Everyone's thresholds are different
9) Irresponsible
Can't deal with a woman that can't handle her business and make good decisions. Or a woman that has multiple baby daddies. Good decisions? Like what? Stock market investing returns? Bought in the wrong neighborhood?
10) Sloppy / Unkept
Need a woman that keeps herself together and has her dwellings kept to a reasonable appearance as well. Please. The definition of clean home is wayyyy different according to whom you ask. What if she finds YOUR home not up to her standards.
11) Dependent
This is sort of similar to neediness but not exactly the same. Much better for a woman to have her own hobbies, interests, and friends. I am not trying to be her sole universe. Otherwise she might get bored or insert any negative feeling. do you mean independent?
12) Addict / Alcoholic
Def can't be having any woman that is addicted to any harmful substance or drug which includes alcohol. Ok, but that's got to apply to your stuff too. You mentioned out with boys, what if she considers that too much drinking? Oh that's her controlling. Works both ways.
13) Mentally Ill
Trying to avoid women with any noticeable mental issues ie depression, bipolar, etc. I am sure some of it can be controlled with meds and they can be great people, but just trying to air on the side of caution.
14) Unkind / Stuckup / Racist
Would not tolerate a rude inconsiderate woman who thinks her poo doesnt stink.
Questionable but not an absolute must for me
15) Unmotivated
Only graduated high school and have no plans or goals for the future? Yea that probably aint gonna work.
16) High Maintenance
I stopped there cause you get the drift.
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Originally Posted by SinaloaPaisa View Post
1) Needy
Can't stand a woman that is always needing you and wanting you to do xyz. It is so annoying. I mean can I watch a movie, not text you right away, play a game, something without you needing my attention?!? Completely subjective. Wanting you to do XYZ once a month? a week? an hour?
Not quite, id say anything with constant regularity ie daily, weekly. Once a month would not be constant
2) Uptight
Can't have a woman that makes a big deal out of everything. I got to have an easy going chill woman. Your chill is another man's "way too laid back" and irresponsible
I already defined the opposite of chill "makes a big deal out of everything"
3) Dishonest
Can't trust a woman who lies. Moment I catch them in one its goodbye (something meaningful) Your already qualifying "lying". Your meaningful isn't someone else's. me? Any lie is a problem.
I think most sane people knows the difference between meaningful and not meaningful. Example, gf asks you where you are and you say you are at work when you are banging your coworker in her apartment. Gf asks you if you are cleaning the house and you tell her yea but you are actually playing Call of Duty PS4
4) Unfaithful
Cheat once you might cheat again. Trust is lost. Good bye.
5) Controlling
Can't deal with a woman that thinks she is my boss or mother. You worry about your own self, I will worry about mine. We are two grown adults. Do not tell me I can't hangout with my boys on a Friday night. If you are going out every night and she has a problem with that it's controlling?
Nope, thats simply a man being irresponsible and a concerned SO
6) Jealous
Can't deal with a woman that questions me and get's her panties in a wad over every female that crosses my path. Is that path horizontal?
Do you mean does it apply to me as well? Absolutely
7) Argumentative
I don't mind a good debate so long as it is civil, but I am not trying to do this every day about dumb poo. It's annoying. Is that argumentative or a healthy debate. Definitions differ
There is a difference. One is calm and productive, the other involves someone losing their temper and harming the relationship
8) Sensitive
This aint as bad as the others, but not really trying to walk on pins and needles everyday due to possibly upsetting you with something I say. Stop being a baby. Everyone's thresholds are different
Sure, but that doesnt make someone incentive or sensitive.
9) Irresponsible
Can't deal with a woman that can't handle her business and make good decisions. Or a woman that has multiple baby daddies. Good decisions? Like what? Stock market investing returns? Bought in the wrong neighborhood?
Basically not being an idiot to the detriment of yourself and others around you
10) Sloppy / Unkept
Need a woman that keeps herself together and has her dwellings kept to a reasonable appearance as well. Please. The definition of clean home is wayyyy different according to whom you ask. What if she finds YOUR home not up to her standards.
Sure, but there is a general consensus. If she finds my home not up to standards then I would suggest she evaluates how important that is to her and act accordingly
11) Dependent
This is sort of similar to neediness but not exactly the same. Much better for a woman to have her own hobbies, interests, and friends. I am not trying to be her sole universe. Otherwise she might get bored or insert any negative feeling. do you mean independent?
Yes, she would need to be semi independent with her own life
12) Addict / Alcoholic
Def can't be having any woman that is addicted to any harmful substance or drug which includes alcohol. Ok, but that's got to apply to your stuff too. You mentioned out with boys, what if she considers that too much drinking? Oh that's her controlling. Works both ways.
Absolutely, all that I wrote applies to me as well. What she considers does not make it a fact. Having 2 beers is not being addicted or an alcoholic
This is not universal (debatable whether it should be though).
No, actually it's not "debatable" at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SinaloaPaisa
Out of curiosity, which ones do you think have to do with preference?
Now that I think about it, I don't think "preference" was the word I wanted-- it's more like "personal importance".
For example, your statement about religious views. I can't say that whether someone believes in Jesus, or worships mud in the forest, makes a difference to me. That my partner is Christian and I am not is simply not on our radar.
Controlled mental health issues? No problem for me.
I personally don't want to be with someone who has this attitude:
"You worry about your own self, I will worry about mine."
I have no problem with my partner having his own hobbies and interests, but I'll be damned if I'll be with someone who has the attitude that he can do what he wants to do with no regard for me. If that makes me not "easy going and chill", so be it.
Now that I think about it, I don't think "preference" was the word I wanted-- it's more like "personal importance".
For example, your statement about religious views. I can't say that whether someone believes in Jesus, or worships mud in the forest, makes a difference to me. That my partner is Christian and I am not is simply not on our radar.
While it might not seem important now, what if down the line you have kids and your SO insists on raising them a certain way that you disagree with? This can cause problems in a relationship key word being can. I's personally rather not risk it
Controlled mental health issues? No problem for me.
Again you might not think this is a problem for you, but it could become a problem for you. Key word become.
I personally don't want to be with someone who has this attitude:
"You worry about your own self, I will worry about mine."
Have to take it into context. That was meant on a purely controlling context of someone trying to play the role of your boss or parent. In a functioning productive relationship we should def worry about our SO.
I have no problem with my partner having his own hobbies and interests, but I'll be damned if I'll be with someone who has the attitude that he can do what he wants to do with no regard for me. If that makes me not "easy going and chill", so be it.
That would make him inconsiderate. One of my red flags
Like all things in life, things vary, this should be common sense at some point. The items you listed seem to be fairly obvious that most people would tend to want, the basics I would say.
Like all things in life, things vary, this should be common sense at some point. The items you listed seem to be fairly obvious that most people would tend to want, the basics I would say.
Not sure the point of this thread.
Point of this thread was to point out just how often these things are overlooked.
Women fall for a good talker. Think with their heart more than their head. Or women being gold diggers.
Men fall for a hot woman or some piece of tail. Think with their little head more than their big head.
It's a long list of character flaws you have there. None of which I'd disagree with.
But here's my cautionary note. Every time you add a dealkiller, such as religious faith, politics, the fact that she slurps her soup, whatever, you're narrowing things down the potential pool of candidates to the point that you've maybe got one person in the entire world that you'd consider. And you don't like her cats.
It's a long list of character flaws you have there. None of which I'd disagree with.
But here's my cautionary note. Every time you add a dealkiller, such as religious faith, politics, the fact that she slurps her soup, whatever, you're narrowing things down the potential pool of candidates to the point that you've maybe got one person in the entire world that you'd consider. And you don't like her cats.
I agree, thats why I didnt include Religion in the must haves. Its not a deal breaker (for me) anyways. But I would have to have a deep conversation about religious expectations prior to getting married.
Slurping soup would annoy me haha Not gonna lie.
But you right, got to pick and choose your battles.
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