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I'm making a new thread on here... whoever needs to know the full story can read my other thread that I made on here but here is a short summary:
My ex and I were together for a year, he always acted off and barely ever wanted or "could" spend time with me. The entire summer he said he had stupid things to do like clean his room or babysit his pretty old younger siblings so he didn't have time to see me. Yet he could be the sweetest ever and he said he wanted to move in with me and that he was planning on getting engaged with me.
He had contact with his ex and I told him that made me uncomfortable so he promised TWICE to break that contact, I eventually wanted a break which he said OK too. The following happened during said break:
He wanted me back so badly he told he'd been suicidal / actually had attempted suicide twice and I got so shocked and worried and terrified I did ALL to try to help him, spoke to him for hours even though he said several times that it was my fault he had attempted suicide, and that only being with me could prevent him from being suicidal. Eventually days later he got angry and said he won't seek help and that everything (the suicide attempts) had been a lie to get me back and that he had really screwed up now so I might just as well leave him. Then he specifically told me to hate him, like he wanted me to hate him. That's how he said it. He had also told me before that that I cannot trust him, I don't think he even realized himself that he said that though. Anyway I said that if he had lied about attempting suicide it was over for real and he was like ok, you wont ever have to hear from me again. Then he went and added his ex on one of his social medias like 5 minutes later..... so yeah. That was after he had already told me that if I broke up with him he would contact her again so I basically just told him to do so if he has such a hard time letting her go. I understand nothing now. What has been true and what hasn't?..
School begins soon, two days left, and I will have to see him again. If he gets back together with her I will see them together and that will kill me inside. I never want him back again, i'm not stupid I know he's lied to me all along and that he's basically obssessed with his ex and she to him, but it will still hurt. I feel relieved in a way because I realized months ago that we aren't meant to be and something has been feeling off for over 6 months but foolishly in love i've chosen to ignore every single warning sign and every single bad thing he's done and stayed in denial which, believe me, is unusual for me. I don't know how but he has that stupid fricking effect on me.
I'm hoping we can talk a bit more eventually though and end it as friends so I can truly put everything behind me knowing that everything is fine between us. I want to truly forgive and forget. I do believe he might've actually at least been suicidal but not because he missed me, but because I tried to force him to break contact with his ex who apparently must mean so much to him, even if he doesn't quite realize it I think he's still in love with her. If we end everything as friends I think I can accept that a lot easier. I don't know why. And maybe if he truly needs help she can help him. It's insane though because in all their past relationships she treated him like garbage, cheated on him etc. Yet he would do anything for her it seems. I want no part of that anymore, don't wanna get more involved with their crazy, abnormal relationship to each other therefore I will never give him any other chance. At least not as a lover.
I'm just so crushed, I loved him so deeply and his love for me, was it never true? Will I ever know?
I've never let anyone so close before, he is the first one ever and maybe that is why it's so painful.
He has already moved on, he told me that he is happy and that he already realized I probably didn't want him back, then he said he wanted nothing but to be with me, before adding that if I broke up though he would return to being besties with his ex and then when I said it's over it was like - ok! whatever.
All of this happened online, I can't believe we ended it over text..... we probably need to see each other as well especially since we go to the same school, and talk and say goodbye face to face like mature adults. And I hope I can get a proper explanation, amaybe the suicide attempts were real but he wanted me to stop forcing him to get the help he needs since he apparently has bad experiences with a former psychologist he used to see when he was a kid. Unless that was another lie.... I don't want to believe that he is such an awful person that he would make such a thing up but I never cease to be amazed by how messed up people can act.
I'm sorry I don't know why i'm rambling on here, I have nobody to talk to. I could need some support. I'm crying and I can't sleep or eat. It feels like nightmare and I feel so confused and exposed and weak..... i'm literally shaking. It feels like i've been together with a psychopath who's wanted nothing but to **** me up mentally. I hope that is not the case though.
I don't really have anyone. So im like completely alone now. He has a million friends even though they are all just shallow friends since he never lets anyone too close and they will all be there for him now that he is single and he has his ex. Me.... nobody.
And I don't get it.... he calls me the light of his life and says he loves me and I am the best thing that has ever happened to him etc. yet say in the next sentence that he has given up and that if I don't want him back he will start being friends with his ex again. And the ex when she spoke to me before the break about their friendship said he seem so happy with me and all of his friends has thought the same. She said I can always trust him, he's such an amazing and honest guy and if I break up with him I will completely tear him apart so I should not worry about their friendship. Did she lie too?
What I am planning on now is to contact his ex and tell her about the suicides he claimed to having attempted. I am worried and I NEED the truth and since she has known him for years she should know the truth and if he has any history of depression, suicidal tendencies or whatever.
I know though that he will get furious because he won't see it as me trying to help and trying to find out what's true and what's not, he will hate me because i'm the only one he told, if it was true. And he will hate me if he did lie because I would make her aware that he has lied about something like that. After all he is obssessed with being "the best" and that will make him look like a pretty awful person.
And I am scared that he will start lying to her about me to get revenge and that false rumors will be spread, though it wouldn't surprise me now if he would spread rumors about me anyway just to keep this image of being so amazing to all his friends. Maybe telling them that we broke up because I am crazy or whatever and put everybody against me.
I am completely lost..... I have no idea what I should do. I have all these amazing memories and the way he used to look at me like I really was his everything and all the beautiful things he said and I can't believe that the same guy would do this to me a couple of months later with, what it seems like to me, no regret or empathy what so ever. How??
Good grief, start a blog, stay away from this guy, block all access he has to you, find a good therapist to help you work through things. What you NEED is to walk away from the entire situation and stay away from it.
The best way to get closure is to get involved with your life.... friends, hobbies, school, and talk to other guys and don't be afraid to date, even if you don't feel like it - nothing will take your mind off the ex like a new flame can!
The biggest healer is simply time - time heals all wounds.
The best way to get closure is to get involved with your life.... friends, hobbies, school, and talk to other guys and don't be afraid to date, even if you don't feel like it - nothing will take your mind off the ex like a new flame can!
The biggest healer is simply time - time heals all wounds.
I'm a loner, honestly don't really have any friends.
So I don't know how I am supposed to move on at all..
Killing him self ? heh my one kept saying that since the day I filled the divorce that was 7 years ago. He is alive very good. Let me tell ya he have done it even with out saying if he was really intent to kill him self. Keep your inner peace. Stay away.
Killing him self ? heh my one kept saying that since the day I filled the divorce that was 7 years ago. He is alive very good. Let me tell ya he have done it even with out saying if he was really intent to kill him self. Keep your inner peace. Stay away.
Well I worry because he didn't just say that he is suicidal, i've bumped into guys like that in the past and known it was BS. But my ex actually told me he had attempted but failed, one of those times he'd tried to hang himself he said. He let me believe in this for days and maybe it is true I don't know. First he refused to get help, then he said OK to that even saying that he had contacted a psychologist. Then he told me about his bad experience with an old pyschologist and refused to ever get help again because it wouldn't work anyway. I then pressured him and said that we can't be together if you don't talk to a psychologist about this and that I didn't believe him that he had actually contacted one, and that was when he basically said - it was all a lie to get you back, move on and forget me. That was all.
So either he just got really pissed that I was pressuring him and wasn't able to realize that I only wanted to help him, or he did lie even though I doubt even he would sink that low but he has that image of being perfect that he keeps so well.... maybe he had that mask on to me the entire relationship as well. Maybe he would lie about something like that. Maybe that's who he REALLY is.
I will never know unless I ask his other ex or wait for him to explain if he ever will. He's completely f*ked with my head....
Well I worry because he didn't just say that he is suicidal, i've bumped into guys like that in the past and known it was BS. But my ex actually told me he had attempted but failed, one of those times he'd tried to hang himself he said. ....
One of the BIGGEST myth about suicide is that he who says it the most won't do it. BIG BIG mistake.
The people who say it often would most likely DO it. I bet your ex was telling the truth and he had a lot of inner struggle and serious problems.
Make a safe exit plan, talk to a therapist, DO NOT have a relationship with this person because you are not capable of helping him. If he talks about suicide again, call 911. Talk to 1-800-suicide help line, volunteers there will give you advice how to handle this situation.
One of the BIGGEST myth about suicide is that he who says it the most won't do it. BIG BIG mistake.
The people who say it often would most likely DO it. I bet your ex was telling the truth and he had a lot of inner struggle and serious problems.
Make a safe exit plan, talk to a therapist, DO NOT have a relationship with this person because you are not capable of helping him. If he talks about suicide again, call 911. Talk to 1-800-suicide help line, volunteers there will give you advice how to handle this situation.
Best of luck
I wasn't planning on ever going back to him, not after the way he has treated me.
Do you think I should tell his other ex? Since they are so close?
Maybe she could convince him to seek help better than me. Maybe he would listen to her.
Should I risk it? He might get extremely furious with me since he is in denial that he has any problems at all, he admitted that he had problems but then denied it right away again. He wouldn't accept MY help.
Maybe he is more honest with her and maybe he will listen to her.
Last edited by angela0000; 01-05-2016 at 10:08 AM..
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