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I have done it but wouldn't recommend it. Not if you're looking for anything more than that one night. Not that it's impossible for it to ever work out but come on. There are a whole lot of people in this world, all of them very different from one another and most of them very different from you. What are your odds of just happening to sleep immediately with someone who is going to wind up being long term material for you, specifically? Comparatively low. So why just jump from one person to the next (unless that's what you're into and have no desire for longer term)?
Honestly it shouldn't be incredibly hard to wait a few dates and feel out whether the person is an axe murderer or not. I really can't believe that's impossible to do. There's a reason God gave us two hands, boys and girls. One is for the computer mouse...
I don't consider myself a prude. At all. I have quite a healthy sex drive, and then some. But I'm not stupid. That person you just met three days ago online could be anybody. Literally. So I vote no in general (there could be the rare exception) to immediate sex with basically a stranger.
Part of a new relationship is building sexual tension, not getting sex out of the way, as if it were something insignificant.
Exactly! Building the sexual tension is fun and a major turn on. It's part of the "dance" of getting to know someone you're really into. It's not just men who like the "chase," either. I'm much more attracted to men who appreciate and know how to savor that "courtship" ritual a little.
Perfunctory sex just to to "get it out of the way"? Good grief. I'm bored just thinking about it.
...but rather you just slept with someone you now don't like, aren't attracted to, aren't compatible with in the broad light of day, oh but hey, orgasm.
Here's a scenario, and not a very far-fetched one:
You meet someone, a friend of a friend, at a party. She looks amazing. The alcohol-fueled conversation is incredible. After getting all the buying signals from her, the two of you leave and spend the night at your apartment, having mind-blowing, ear-splitting, break-the-bed sex, the kind that makes the neighbor's dog howl, the kind that makes the very angels weep in envy at the moment's beauty.
lol! cpg, you're really showing a gift for writing! Weeping angles, wow!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223;
Then at breakfast the next morning, you get to talking. Not that conversation you have when coaxing someone into bed, but real conversation between two people getting to know one another. You start learning about her beliefs. Her attitudes. You start to uncover a really unsavory neurosis or two. Her godawful credit history and the fact that she can't hang onto a job. Her nutjob ex-boyfriend who stalks her. Her co-dependency. You name it.
Suddenly, over the French toast and coffee, the glow of good sex dissipates in midair and a dim realization forms in the back of your mind: This woman isn't the end-all, be-all sex goddess you banged the night before. This is a person with some serious flaws. She's a basket case and you've now been pulled into the vortex of her personal drama. Because very few women can walk away from sex without forming some kind of emotional bond. So, you take her back to her place, promise to call. And then don't.
So she starts to call you. Or shows up at your apartment. You tell her to go away. She complains about you to all your mutual friends. She keeps driving past your apartment late at night.
Then, two months later, you get the call. "We need to talk," is how it begins, followed by the announcement that she is carrying your child. No, she hadn't slept with anyone else during that time. It most definitely is, she says with some indignation that you'd even suggest otherwise. Later DNA tests prove that you're indeed the daddy.
Crap.
Now you can either marry her and raise a child with this whack job or just pay child support. If you marry her, you're spending years dealing with her dysfunctional family, for the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. But if you don't marry her, she's going to punish you in family court at every single opportunity. If you're late with a payment. If you are late bringing your offspring back during visitation. And this will go on and on until your child, the one you made during that oh-so-brief roll in the hay, is walking off the stage with his or her high school diploma. And, in truth, you'll likely be on the hook for college, too. If by some miracle, you manage to get an advantageous ruling in family court, it won't matter. You'll be forever tagged as the guy who refused to clean up the messes he made in his own life.
From this point on, every decision you make in life will be tempered by the fact that you got someone pregnant by accident. The job you take. The lifestyle decisions you make. If you are going to move somewhere else in the country. And, of course, your future relationships. Because if you find some amazing woman and, in the course of dating, tell her of all the drama that's ensued from that one-night stand a few years back, the chances are good she'll think, "Oh. Not worth it."
Mind you, all this could have been avoided if you had actually shown a week's worth of restraint and taken this unfortunate soul to lunch before scorching the sheets. Or if you had asked the host of the party you met about her, only to get a serious warning or two. But, no, you just had to score that night. And you will pay for it for at least the next eighteen years.
You need to quit your job and become a writer. Didn't I say that to another of your posts earlier this week? Nice to see that C-D inspires someone to heights of creativity. lol Such talent rarely graces our pages.
lol! cpg, you're really showing a gift for writing! Weeping angles, wow!
You need to quit your job and become a writer. Didn't I say that to another of your posts earlier this week? Nice to see that C-D inspires someone to heights of creativity. lol Such talent rarely graces our pages.
Well if same sex floats ya boat have fun..........
Hmmmmmm......
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Sure, just as long as I'm not the one receiving it.
Why you not adventurous? I bought a toy for you too.
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That person you just met three days ago online could be anybody. Literally. So I vote no in general (there could be the rare exception) to immediate sex with basically a stranger.
