Guys: Paying on first date, second, or in general (dating, women, love)
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This topics has been discussed before, multiple times. This time I want to ask other guys, presumably guys who aren't keen on throwing their money around. I am talking about guys who are responsible with money.
Question goes - the anticipation that you'll be required to cover the costs of both instead of your own order:
1) Made you less prone to casually approach (some?) women to eventually want to date them
2) Made you more prone to casually approach women to eventually date them
3) Never made any difference when it comes to incentive/desire of approaching any woman with the purpose of dating
4) I am a woman (or a gay man) and just want to see the results.
Hopefully this thread won't attract "trolls", especially those who use multiple accounts to post things that they don't dare to say via their (main) account.
Purpose of thread is to discuss whether the anticipated "paying" makes guys, especially single guys, feel less prone to approach some women.
I hate it. I hate the concept, I hate the expectation, I hate everything about it. I do it, because:
a) I basically "have" to.
b) I have the money
This mostly applies to first/second dates. In general, I don't have a problem with it because I wouldn't choose to extensively date someone that held to that sort of expectation.
At first, I planned to make the poll public (and even wrote it in opening post) in order to see the voters observe if some of them are trolls, but then again I recalled that plenty of people feel agitated when they click on the poll and then they figure out the poll is public, after they already voted.
Hopefully people will appreciate it, because I don't want to agitate people by a surprise vote and I am sure that plenty of people would read it and simply forget it at some point.
Thus, in order to make a compromise, I'd wish if everyone could elaborate their stance, because there's plenty of people who are prone to falsify poll results, for whatever reason.
Personally I love and insist on paying for the first date
As its only right........ Men ..... Come on!!! LOL
Glad to hear it. I am sure some men actually won't date a woman if they expect that they'll not be the ones paying for it. However, I'd say this is more common among those aging folks (even though my observation tells me it's scarce even among the 40+ folks!) than it is among the youngsters, especially the ones who know and have a clue/experience on how dating goes.
At first, I planned to make the poll public (and even wrote it in opening post) in order to see the voters observe if some of them are trolls, but then again I recalled that plenty of people feel agitated when they click on the poll and then they figure out the poll is public, after they already voted.
Hopefully people will appreciate it, because I don't want to agitate people by a surprise vote and I am sure that plenty of people would read it and simply forget it at some point.
Thus, in order to make a compromise, I'd wish if everyone could elaborate their stance, because there's plenty of people who are prone to falsify poll results, for whatever reason.
Well I've voted for never made any difference because I'm not a troll!! LOL
Glad to hear it. I am sure some men actually won't date a woman if they expect that they'll not be the ones paying for it. However, I'd say this is more common among those aging folks (even though my observation tells me it's scarce even among the 40+ folks!) than it is among the youngsters, especially the ones who know and have a clue/experience on how dating goes.
Yes I'd agree that " gentlemanly rules " do come more natural to the elder generation. But is pure common sense and being decent to pay for it? Especially when the chances are it was the MAN that asked her out!
Personally I love and insist on paying for the first date
As its only right........ Men ..... Come on!!! LOL
Really. It will be interesting to watch as the thread unfolds and we see all the ugly churlishness of guys who were apparently raised in a barn with absolutely no manners at all complain about having to pay for a date that THEY ask for. Should be good for a few laughs.
Bottom line is: If you can't afford to spring for a date, either find something free to do, or wait until you are in a position where you can afford to date. A grown man does not expect women to pay for dates that the man asks for. It's boorish and rude, and not the way it is done in the United States. Those who don't like it need to leave and go live in a country where they will fit better.
And no, it's not "scarce" among men over 40, or even among men over 35, for them to expect to pay when they are hosting a date. Not sure what low-class people the OP is talking about.
I always paid. After some time they may buy a few drinks or something, but never paid for the date or even close to their share. Some have said they would leave the tip. Some have brought food over.
I even found myself telling the lady I'm with now on our first date pretty much upfront that I'll be paying for the meal (we went to this bar/restaurant place with a patio for our dogs), because I got the vibe pretty quickly that I would like her.
Spoiler
I'm sure I'm breaking the rules of some PUA, but I'll be alright.
Anywho, that really never crossed my mind, and played a factor in whether I approached women, because I never approached women (never had to), and it never discouraged me from going on dates. I've never taken a date to a super high-class, expensive joint on the first date, so maybe that plays a factor, but I've never been to type to worry about paying on the first date (or two) or expect anything out of the date for me, simply because I paid.
Now if we're getting beyond the first couple of dates, and she hasn't even hinted at picking up the tab, then that would potentially be a red flag for me.
With that being said, I certainly understand why some men are bothered by the concept (seems silly), would prefer to go dutch, and be cautious of a woman who expected him to pay.
FWIW, my dates have usually offered to pay or split the tab, which I appreciate the gesture. Draw your own conclusions.
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