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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Personally as much as I've sucked at it, OLD is easier for me because the intent is more clear and I don't have to worry about being shot down in public or in person and the rejection just stays in secret:
As others have said, nobody dates online. Despite the name, online dating is just another way to be introduced to people--the dating part happens in person.
Is that why I see an occasional woman's profile that is "willing to lie about how we met"? Do guys have that hangup spelled out on their profiles?
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014
Online dating is just a form not the intention, unless you want "chat pals" the intention is to get dates in real life.
One would think that, but oddly enough, I could check out a typical dating website and most of the women's faces would probably be familiar to some months or even years ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Personally as much as I've sucked at it, OLD is easier for me because the intent is more clear and I don't have to worry about being shot down in public or in person and the rejection just stays in secret:
Unless you happen to message on of those gals that has a site detailing the follies of the guys that message her...then, it's not any more private.
Is it easy for you to approach and talk to women? If so, then offline approaches are better.
If not, online is "probably" better, keeping in mind that your success rate will not be good. The type of person for whom it would, wouldn't be asking.
Then again, there's no law that says you can only use one.
Is that why I see an occasional woman's profile that is "willing to lie about how we met"? Do guys have that hangup spelled out on their profile?
Yep. I saw one guy's say "Let's tell them we met at Olive Garden." I wondered if that was a joke because that would almost be more embarrassing than OLD.
Read some of the older threads. These discussions come up often. I never struggled to get dates offline. I just didn't have any interest in pursuing this route for meeting potential dates. I knew myself well enough to know it was highly unlikely I'd meet my people/type offline. There's no way to screen for basic criteria and compatibility, and I had no interest in wasting my (and anyone else's) energy and time going through this sort of screening process that can take several dates or longer -- it is wholly inefficient for me. Ain't got no time for that.
I was very selective, and given my personality, busy schedule with three kids, and lack of social circle with available men that met my criteria (99% of my friends are married women), online was the most efficient, convenient and effective way to meet and screen potential matches.
Meeting women in real life is worth it. There is no substitute for the in-person experience right away.
For someone who is, say, decidedly child-free, in-person interaction can be rather fruitless if that individual doesn't meet this criteria, which already narrows an individual's dating pool. Yep. Meet a nice woman at a meetup group/bar/social event, chat, sense some chemistry, grab drinks one evening, enjoy some conversation, dinner, etc. Then realize the woman is not child-free. Deal-breaker. Full stop. Waste of time. Rinse and repeat. This would become monotonous, costly and frustrating.
At least with online there are various, many, details you can assess from the get-go without having to go through the whole process of fleshing out key details that are typically NOT first or second date conversation topics for most people (I tackled the big issues within the first few online and phone conversations with high matches). It cuts down on the "Damn. I really liked her." feeling.
No amount of chemistry is going to turn deal-breakers into not-deal-breakers. Best to get those issues out of the way from the very beginning.
Real life is generally better, ONLINE is only good as a side option and not the main vehicle to meeting people.
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