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It's possible a lot has changed in 13 years (so I'm allowing for that) but last I dated, at the age of 34, I think any date of mine would have passed out if I'd said I lived with my mother. (I didn't, of course. I lived on my own entirely self-supported at the age of 20.)
If I had happily announced, however, that I lived with Mom and Dad, it would have been red flag, red flag, red flag all over the place...not just the money issue but the need/want to remain that attached to Mommy and so on...we're not talking "independence" financially here even so much as emotional reliance, fear of leaving home, overattachment, lack of drive and so on...I mean I can say this definitively. I would not have been asked out again.
Would have been all but unheard of and I have heard many a man say today that it's weird when a woman in her 30s lives with the parents, for a whole host of reasons.
I'm pretty surprised I don't see more guys on this thread weirded out at such a thought...you go out with 35+-year-old women who live with Mom? You don't think twice about that? About how she doesn't feel like supporting herself and/or doesn't mind a bit having Mommy looking over her shoulder, knowing when she goes out, when she comes in, etc., etc as if she were still 14? And gong to pick her up, you have to meet Mom sitting there at the table...? When you both are older than 35-ish? Really?
Different worlds, maybe? I don't know.
Living with your parents at that age is a much different story than living with roommates. I can't really tell what we're talking about in this thread though. It seems to be bouncing back and forth.
For the record, living with your parents into your late 20s and 30s is weird to me, especially if it is your long term plan. I would not want any part in that.
Living with roommates into your late 20s and 30s is not that weird to me. In fact, it's fairly common here where I live. Into your 40s and 50s? I think it would depend on the circumstances. Most people are fairly established at that point in their lives and should be in their peak earning years. So unless they're temporarily down and out, I'd find it to be a little odd if it was their long term lifestyle choice. Who knows? Maybe this is an extremely American view, as from what I hear, roommates and living at home in your adult years is fairly common in Europe and Asia.
I live in one of the most expensive parts of the country, the D.C. metro area. I have a good deal because I'm paying less than $2,000 a month for a 740 sq. ft. 1BR. It's a steal because the building is slightly older than others in this area, where you'd pay $2,100-2,300 for less than 700 sq. ft. and similar amenities.
Of course I could live further out, or in a part of Arlington that isn't near a metro, and pay lower rent, but then I'd need a car, so it's really six of one, half dozen of the other financially. In terms of stress, however, oh, heck no. I'd rather deal with some of the issues of living in an urban situation (street noise, the moron I just had to report to the police for shining his flashlight over at our building from across the way, the idiot drunk girlfriend of the guy upstairs--who the landlord appears to have effectively shut up with a very stern talking to and the threat of a fine and termination of the lease) than drive anywhere inside the Beltway, deal with parking, pay for gas, insurance, and maintenance, and just, no.
I could also live in East Bumfrick, Iowa and pay less than half as much rent for a place twice as large, and be considered wealthy, but I'd slit my wrists out of boredom in an area like that.
Point is, some of us would rather pay more to enjoy our privacy in an area we consider safe and convenient than have roommates. And we'd gravitate toward prospective partners who similarly value their privacy. And that's okay. Doesn't make us "easily annoyed" or afflicted with any other negative character traits as some here might imply.
I don't think this is gender-specific, either. I don't know any 50-something men who would feel comfortable staying at a woman's place if she had roommates. I'm sure they're out there, but I don't know any, myself.
2k a month, jeez, We bought our condo about 15 yrs ago and have since refi'd and brought the payment down some, man, we should be thankful for our situation. The difference between other parts of the country and so cal is that so cal is car country, don't know if you've ever been out this way, but it's really hard to make it here without having wheels. Locals here will get what I'm saying. Public transport here sucks and isn't as good as it should be, plus everything is just spread out far and wide.
I'd love to live and be able to get by without having to buy a car. I'm in the market right now to buy one and it sucks to be honest.
In terms of dating women with roommates, screw that noise, I'm not 50 yet, but at my age roommates means broke and I'm not down with some broke ass woman. She doesn't have to be a baller, but have your own place at least. I'm not down with worrying about all that goes with having other people in the house, I think you spelled it out nicely further up thread.
Man living with parents is interpreted as a man without money and assets. Therefore, not much to tap into. Just the same as women who are not interested in a man who can't wine and dine them or want to share the cost of a first date.
Man living with parents is interpreted as a man without money and assets. Therefore, not much to tap into. Just the same as women who are not interested in a man who can't wine and dine them or want to share the cost of a first date.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
That is nonsense. Somerville is super cheap. My place in Stoneham was very reasonable. Amnd Billerica is still on the commuter line. EASY buses as far as Manchester NH, with a lot of practically rural towns in NH in between.
I said moderately expensive, that doesn't equal Super Cheap. The only places Super Cheap 1/2 an hour or less from Downtown Boston are in some abandoned building used by crack dealers.
Man living with parents is interpreted as a man without money and assets. Therefore, not much to tap into. Just the same as women who are not interested in a man who can't wine and dine them or want to share the cost of a first date.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
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Nj
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Originally Posted by Chowhound
2k a month, jeez, We bought our condo about 15 yrs ago and have since refi'd and brought the payment down some, man, we should be thankful for our situation. The difference between other parts of the country and so cal is that so cal is car country, don't know if you've ever been out this way, but it's really hard to make it here without having wheels. Locals here will get what I'm saying. Public transport here sucks and isn't as good as it should be, plus everything is just spread out far and wide.
I'd love to live and be able to get by without having to buy a car. I'm in the market right now to buy one and it sucks to be honest.
In terms of dating women with roommates, screw that noise, I'm not 50 yet, but at my age roommates means broke and I'm not down with some broke ass woman. She doesn't have to be a baller, but have your own place at least. I'm not down with worrying about all that goes with having other people in the house, I think you spelled it out nicely further up thread.
Lot of you seem to be missing the point. Shouldn't women (and some men) ,be less judgemental about this in at least 1/3rd of the 50 largest Metro Areas in America due to housing prices and rents?
Lot of you seem to be missing the point. Shouldn't women (and some men, be less judgemental about this in at least 1/3rd of the 50 largest Metro Areas in America due to housing prices and rents?
No.
If one wants to live in a city, they take the good and bad that goes with it.
It's not a question of being "judgmental", at least in my case. It is purely a question of what I'm comfortable with and what I personally look for in a partner. Period.
2k a month, jeez, We bought our condo about 15 yrs ago and have since refi'd and brought the payment down some, man, we should be thankful for our situation. The difference between other parts of the country and so cal is that so cal is car country, don't know if you've ever been out this way, but it's really hard to make it here without having wheels. Locals here will get what I'm saying. Public transport here sucks and isn't as good as it should be, plus everything is just spread out far and wide.
I'd love to live and be able to get by without having to buy a car. I'm in the market right now to buy one and it sucks to be honest.
In terms of dating women with roommates, screw that noise, I'm not 50 yet, but at my age roommates means broke and I'm not down with some broke ass woman. She doesn't have to be a baller, but have your own place at least. I'm not down with worrying about all that goes with having other people in the house, I think you spelled it out nicely further up thread.
Yep, plenty of friends out by you. You're in a double-whammy--expensive and need a car. That's how Long Island is, too. I was paying just a couple hundred less a month but lived more than an hour from the city. If I'm going to pay that much, I'm going to be no further than a 10-minute Uber ride away from the action.
This area is having some issues with Metrorail, as they are doing extensive repairs. Upshot is that a trip that normally takes about 30 minutes door-to-door on the weekend can take well over an hour if you have to transfer, with up to 28 minutes between trains. I've actually just gotten out and walked rather than wait to transfer.
A lifestyle choice is a lifestyle choice. I have a small parrot. He's all the mess and noise I can handle! (Oh, yeah, imagine a roommate with HIM!?! "Oops, sorry he landed on you and just chewed a hole in your sleeve. Guess I'm buying you a new shirt." And what if they forget he's out and they open a window? Fuhgettaboutit!)
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She doesn't have to be a baller, but have your own place at least. I'm not down with worrying about all that goes with having other people in the house, I think you spelled it out nicely further up thread.
I've actually just gotten out and walked rather than wait to transfer. 
Fuhgettaboutit!)
