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My soon-to-be-ex husband sounds a lot like yours. Narcissists, and a total bummer to be around to boot. It took me a long time to pull the trigger, after months of solo counseling (because he refused to go with me), but I finally filed for divorce last fall. I will be so happy when it is finalized! I had the same feelings about being single again, but I'd rather be single and doing whatever makes me happy than coupled and either putting my passions off or doing only the things he wants to do.
Prepare yourself that divorce with these types can take a while, because they believe everything you put forward is wrong, and they're also procrastinators who aren't used to handling their own matters (like you said, they're accustomed to being managed like children instead of men). Narcissists build their image up so much that they lose grip on reality; how else can you explain someone who can't step up and take care of adult things - handing all responsibility to their partner - yet has the balls to tell their partner that they don't know what they're doing?
Leave. At 41 you have a lot of life to live. It might be strange/difficult at first, but once you are free of the burdens caused by this bad marriage, you'll begin to find yourself again and feel energized to start living again. You are only responsible for your own happiness, not his. And who knows, if you leave maybe he'll step up in his own life also!
I'm 41 so it's hard to think about being single again. I'm just unhappy. He is so negative all the time. Little things set him off and then he said moody. He isn't into me at all physically.
..now I've tried to tell him how I feel but he won't change. He is only about him. I also worry about him all the time like he is my child....I need to set myself free that.
You started another thread about breaking your lease and buying a home. Is that something you would be doing with your husband?
Short answer to your question, no I wouldn't stay. I know it's not that simple, though. I left an almost 20 year marriage in my early 40s and while I felt certain that it was the right thing to do, I also felt a lot of "WTF am I doing?". You're in a tough spot. I wish you luck.
Half the people who post, here, are looking for red flags that can help them to avoid miserable relationships, while the other half are in, or just got out, of a miserable relationship.
Half the people who post, here, are looking for red flags that can help them to avoid miserable relationships, while the other half are in, or just got out, of a miserable relationship.
What does that say?
And the other half are in good relationships. Except that you can't have 3 halves.
Last edited by Dewdroplet76; 02-19-2016 at 10:31 AM..
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