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Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
2,218 posts, read 3,458,789 times
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I stayed until the day before my 20th anniversary. I decided to leave...and honestly, it was one of the hardest and most soul searching decisions I have ever made...but it was, for me, the absolute best decision I have ever made.
My ex was so negative, critical and unhappy. It was contagious. After I left, my life became sunny, happy and peaceful. I know this is not always possible for everyone, but for me, it worked.
I'm 41 so it's hard to think about being single again. I'm just unhappy. He is so negative all the time. Little things set him off and then he said moody. He isn't into me at all physically.
..now I've tried to tell him how I feel but he won't change. He is only about him. I also worry about him all the time like he is my child....I need to set myself free that.
Married him in 84...finally divorced in 2013.
God, was this man miserable.
I don't know what kept me in the relationship. Insanity? Fear? The checkbook that was fairly full most of the time?
Mine was also narcissistic.
I am so happy I am away from him. I do feel I should have done this 10 years ago.
Not so troubled or worried about being single at all. I am in no hurry to couple up. Yet. Still rediscovering me - without HIM. It's nice. I don't feel like I am withering away any more.
Best of luck to you. Life should be lived and you deserve to be happy in it. Go get happy!! DUMP HIM
I personally would feel more painfully isolated in a situation such as that, than living by myself. I know some do not like being alone, but hopefully that would not keep you from leaving as you would be much better off. Believe me, if you could be on your own and with doggies, you would feel much happier. Then, get in touch with who you are and what you want.
I don't recommend trying to meet someone new for a time either and feel that many times, others detract from who we are, though some are lucky to have another who enhances their life. Good luck.
I'm 41 so it's hard to think about being single again. I'm just unhappy. He is so negative all the time. Little things set him off and then he said moody. He isn't into me at all physically.
..now I've tried to tell him how I feel but he won't change. He is only about him. I also worry about him all the time like he is my child....I need to set myself free that.
Be honest, have you let yourself go? He could be unhappy because he has tried to drop hints to you over and over that you have let yourself go and you are ignoring them, thus making him unhappy. I have seen this over and over in relationships. Women reach a certain point where they feel like their husband is happy with them no matter what and they let themselves become MORBIDLY obese. They then cant figure out why their husband is unhappy.
Its not always easy to jack it all in... sometimes there are children involved, sometimes its money, or a mortgage that keeps couples together.. I think many people put up and take it for years or forever as their either scared or not sure of moving on....
I got married young, in my family divorce is not an option, so for 20 years I endured negativity, selfishness and infidelity, no kids, I worked, I have a great job making 6 figures, but on our 20th I informed him, he is not stealing another 20 years of my life. yes at 40 I started over again, I gave up all our assets but I have never been happier. Yes counseling begging and pleading for him to change were part of those 20 years, but its time for you to start loving yourself. The choice is yours. It's not easy but it will be worth it. +
I'm 41 so it's hard to think about being single again. I'm just unhappy. He is so negative all the time. Little things set him off and then he said moody. He isn't into me at all physically.
..now I've tried to tell him how I feel but he won't change. He is only about him. I also worry about him all the time like he is my child....I need to set myself free that.
If I was miserable, I wouldn't stay. His negativity will continue to chip away at you until there's nothing left of you. He's a drain on your spirit.
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