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You're saying that if you're seeing someone, you won't initiate getting together until you've been dating for six months?
Probably not. Last guy I dated turned to a jerk immediately when I told him, "Are you free this weekend...I love to see you again." Maybe it was the word love. I should've used a different word. Ha!
He was just a jerk, but I learned my lesson that I can't show him how much I adore him until much much later. I hate playing games, but can't beat 'em, so I have to join 'em.
Yes, the guy should make the first move. Once the woman becomes the aggressor, then the guy loses interest...fast. I have said this many times and many will deny this, but guys do not like to be chased 99% of the time. And it works the opposite for women as well - we like it when men (we're interested in) are the aggressors. It's sexy.
That is why I'm just sticking to the eye contact and hellos for now. I would never ask any guy out directly in the initial stages of dating (like up to 6 months!). Also learned my lesson that it's the same way online. I had better luck when he messaged me first. Example, I sent him a wink, he looked at my profile and I never heard from him. I went on another website, and the same guy I winked at messaged me (not sure he even knew I was the same gal), and we hit off until the 5th date.
It not a matter of "denying" anything, but simply a matter of having different experiences. Personally, I was always attracted to shy dudes, who could take months to work up the courage to ask a girl out. Subtlety is not one of my strong points, so if we were both clearly into each other, it wasn't particularly efficient to wait around putting out the vibe, for them to make the first move. Gotta get the show on the road before I lose interest, damn it
Probably not. Last guy I dated turned to a jerk immediately when I told him, "Are you free this weekend...I love to see you again." Maybe it was the word love. I should've used a different word. Ha!
He was just a jerk, but I learned my lesson that I can't show him how much I adore him until much much later. I hate playing games, but can't beat 'em, so I have to join 'em.
I don't believe it would've been a problem with the right guy. A jerk is going to be a jerk regardless of what you do.
It not a matter of "denying" anything, but simply a matter of having different experiences. Personally, I was always attracted to shy dudes, who could take months to work up the courage to ask a girl out. Subtlety is not one of my strong points, so if we were both clearly into each other, it wasn't particularly efficient to wait around putting out the vibe, for them to make the first move. Gotta get the show on the road before I lose interest, damn it
I know what you mean. I'm losing patience on one already, and it's only been a few weeks. Maybe I'm not patient enough. Lately, the ones that I think are interested are really taken and they just like to look.
So just a really quick and very general observation. Is the onus almost 99.9999% of the time on the guy to make the first move- whether it is to engage in conversation, ask for a date/number or to explicitly express interest in the girl? For example, Lately I've been noticing that sometimes girls will put themselves in position to catch my attention- whether it is eye contact and a smile or they will sit next to me when there are other spaces available, etc. Anything and everything short of actually opening their mouth and speaking first. And if I don't make a move or start a conversation nothing happens (and in fact sometimes I get a bit of a glare or pained expression as if they expected something). Am I imagining things and over-estimating female intentions or can everyone else validate this social fact?
You're not imagining things. That's how women make the first move. Sometimes they'll even start up a conversation. Then they leave the rest to you.
Probably not. Last guy I dated turned to a jerk immediately when I told him, "Are you free this weekend...I love to see you again." Maybe it was the word love. I should've used a different word. Ha!
He was just a jerk, but I learned my lesson that I can't show him how much I adore him until much much later. I hate playing games, but can't beat 'em, so I have to join 'em.
So, basically, you are putting off until later finding out that the guy really isn't that into you in the first place.
You're not imagining things. That's how women make the first move. Sometimes they'll even start up a conversation. Then they leave the rest to you.
That's what I said earlier. As far as the women were concerned, they did make the first move by specifically directing their display of approachability to you.
Traditionally, it's on the guy to make the first move. Say hello. Ask her name. Start a conversation. That's how you get women!
And, I would add, introduce yourself, to signal that you're interested in more than just a friendly chat. That's how you stay out of the dreaded Friend Zone.
Women may not make the "obvious" first move but as someone else said, they as a guy don't make a move "cold".
Hopefully the woman has given some hint in terms of a glance or a flirting gesture or question that lets you know there's some chance at least of success. So yeah, women don't get CREDIT for the first move but sometimes it's there if you pay attention.
this
especially the part on making a move "cold"
at the very least make eye contact a few times...she wont keep looking if she is repulsed
If your sitting at a long crowded bar and she goes out of her way to come stand right by you every time she orders a beer, chances are she wants you to talk to her...
if you say hi and she pepper sprays your face, chances are shes not interested
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I should've used a different word. Ha!