How much harder does starting a family get if you are still single (male) into your 30's (dates, marriage)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
See this is the attitude I'm talking about. People treat me like I'm a loser because I have not had a relationship in my life. I've tried my a&@ off to have one but it has just not worked out. I refuse to believe that I'm ready for the damn looney bin because of my lack of luck in dating.
Hey, yo, wake up. It isn't "bad luck". You've been told this 100s of times and told why it isn't bad luck. It is your choices and actions. Plain and simple.
Unless you want to change (and I don't think you do), you will continue to have "bad luck". You don't "try" at all.
People here, me included, have tried to actually help you time and time again. If you actually wanted to have some success you might try listening and trying the suggestions, for freaking once.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Hey, yo, wake up. It isn't "bad luck". You've been told this 100s of times and told why it isn't bad luck. It is your choices and actions. Plain and simple.
Unless you want to change (and I don't think you do), you will continue to have "bad luck". You don't "try" at all.
People here, me included, have tried to actually help you time and time again. If you actually wanted to have some success you might try listening and trying the suggestions, for freaking once.
You haven't tried to help me all. All you've done is judge me and talk trash like you are better than me just because you've been more fortunate in dating than I have.
I'm sorry but there is an element of luck in dating just like everything else and I don't have it.
Why should it ever be a problem? Men can still make kids well into their 80s... you have your whole life bro.
Just because men can "make" kids into the 80s does not make it a good idea to do so. The risk of birth defects is increasing and how would raise this unfortunate kid.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
You haven't tried to help me all. All you've done is judge me and talk trash like you are better than me just because you've been more fortunate in dating than I have.
I'm sorry but there is an element of luck in dating just like everything else and I don't have it.
I have and lots of people have. Go ahead, continue not to listen though and blame it on luck.
Try again. Nothing in her statement says anything about never having had a date or any type of relationship pre 30s.
She's speaking to, correctly by the way, that its not too late, and indeed common, for people to find relationships and start families in their 30s, or even 40s.
It is easy to find relationships in one's 30s. That is true. Of course, if they've never dated at all pre 30, then there is probably something going on. There are some people with legit reasons, as in they were consumed with school and getting their MD/Ph.D. and they didn't want any distractions (though that's a bit specious too), but for the most part? Nah. Something is up. It's HARD to avoid dating/sex/relationships that long.
Statically speaking, nobody's going to be perpetually "unlucky" for years and years. In the VAST majority of cases, when people are perpetually single, it's either by choice, or if they actually want relationships, what they refer to as "bad luck" is better described as having particular criteria that's not easily or realistically filled, or due to their particular behavior, attitude, and actions.
Sometimes, timing is an issue, granted, and that's bad luck in a sense... you meet somebody perfect for you, but you got there too late, or you meet them when you're on the verge of moving or something. But even so, the "bad luck" of bad timing shouldn't be a chronic thing.
i'm unclear as to whether the OP means no GF currently, or not had a GF ever. If you've never had a date in your 20s, you're not going to suddenly excel at dating 20 year olds when you're 30 or 40.
See this is the attitude I'm talking about. People treat me like I'm a loser because I have not had a relationship in my life. I've tried my a&@ off to have one but it has just not worked out. I refuse to believe that I'm ready for the damn looney bin because of my lack of luck in dating.
It's not bad luck. You said yourself that you can determine attraction just by looking at a woman, not even interacting with her. That is NOT how dating works. Compatibility comes from interaction, not admiring appearances from afar.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
It's not bad luck. You said yourself that you can determine attraction just by looking at a woman, not even interacting with her. That is NOT how dating works. Compatibility comes from interaction, not admiring appearances from afar.
That's how lots of attraction comes about too. You talk to them, there is chemistry, and a person that might never have really caught your eye becomes cute, because they're fun to talk to, and funny, and you have chemistry.
But no, its about luck. Note to people: It isn't unlucky to keep trying the same failed ways, and having the same failed mindset, and to continuing to fail. That isn't being unlucky.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
It's not bad luck. You said yourself that you can determine attraction just by looking at a woman, not even interacting with her. That is NOT how dating works. Compatibility comes from interaction, not admiring appearances from afar.
No. I said I can determine how attracted I AM to someone by looking at them. I don't know or care how others do it, I know what is best for me.
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loser because I have not had a relationship in my life. I've tried my a&@ off to have one but it has just not worked out. I refuse to believe that I'm ready for the damn looney bin because of my lack of luck in dating.
All you've done is judge me and talk trash like you are better than me just because you've been more fortunate in dating than I have.
