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So I am really trying to learn more about me and my dating life so the things that happen can be explained...
Yesterday afternoon I had an appointment for estimate on house renovation. A guy about 6-8 years older than me shows up and he said he lived in a nearby town, so this was a close appointment for him. He was very metro and a pretty boy. I was amazed at how good he looked for his age. He asked me to help him measure the house and talk. I think he was probably the first pretty boy professional that I have been attracted to ever in my life.
We got to chatting and I quickly learned he had been an elementary school teacher and recently started as an estimator. He was divorced with two older kids, had been dating women in their 20's but the night club life had grown old.
He was asking about my background and the house. I was showing him around and projects that I have done, including plans in the works.
He finally says "you are so independent and I would be way to needy and narcisstic for you"
But my ex boyfriend will say I like attention, constant contact, which is why he thinks current boyfriend is not going to last.
So maybe I am a giant contradiction. Maybe I am looking at all the wrong guys. I know I don't want projects, they need to be stable and have their life together.
Accept the idea that he DOESNT WANT TO date you, first of all. He's letting you down easy.
And yes, people who take care of themselves often look good for their age. You've spent your life dating lowlife men, and probably seem a little rough around the edges yourself.
Any time a guy says, "I'd be far too (fill in the blank) for you," listen to him. He's giving you a rare insight into who he really is and what you'd come to really dislike about him. Don't waste your time on these guys. They know themselves better than you do and are giving you an upfront warning that it isn't going to work unless you are very, very tolerant and able to put up with a lot. You can do better. Btdt - learned this lesson the hard way. He's being honest with you - move on.
Accept the idea that he DOESNT WANT TO date you, first of all. He's letting you down easy.
And yes, people who take care of themselves often look good for their age. You've spent your life dating lowlife men, and probably seem a little rough around the edges yourself.
Yeah yeah that is not the problem. He started hinting to learn about me first. I am trying to process the part that I am too independent.
What kind of guy matches women that are too independent?
Any time a guy says, "I'd be far too (fill in the blank) for you," listen to him. He's giving you a rare insight into who he really is and what you'd come to really dislike about him. Don't waste your time on these guys. They know themselves better than you do and are giving you an upfront warning that it isn't going to work unless you are very, very tolerant and able to put up with a lot. You can do better. Btdt - learned this lesson the hard way. He's being honest with you - move on.
No I was good with all that. He had definitely said he has lots of flaws. It was just interesting hanging out with, sharing some beers and talking to a type of guy that I have never been around.
What is most obvious from your post is that you have already, in your mind, dumped the current boyfriend.
Stop overthinking it all. Find happiness in your current life and stop mentally moving on to the next thing and the next man.
Life isn't a bunch of boxes we check off to confirm we are happy. Happiness comes from seeing the joy in everyday life.
I have not. But I don't think it's going to work out because boyfriend does not want to spend time together and do things. He is content living four miles away and having his own life.
I slid it into the conversation that I had a boyfriend. Heck even my ex boyfriend ( he use to live with me in the house) called to remind me to add an item to the estimate that needed to be done.
You are missing the point that we were chit chatting, talking about dating in this area, things that have not worked for us, etc. I am very social and easy to talk to, and this guy was similar. I love meeting new people.
You don't want a guy that dates 20's somethings, needy, and narcissistic.
Too many red flags.
Agreed! That is not what I am asking!!!!!
He was also on probation and can't own firearms... Dating him was not on my radar at anytime on the conversation. He takes longer to get ready than I do...
If someone admits to being both needy and narcissistic then you're supposed to run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. It's not rocket science when they tell you flat out who/what they are.
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