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So just a really quick and very general observation. Is the onus almost 99.9999% of the time on the guy to make the first move- whether it is to engage in conversation, ask for a date/number or to explicitly express interest in the girl? For example, Lately I've been noticing that sometimes girls will put themselves in position to catch my attention- whether it is eye contact and a smile or they will sit next to me when there are other spaces available, etc. Anything and everything short of actually opening their mouth and speaking first. And if I don't make a move or start a conversation nothing happens (and in fact sometimes I get a bit of a glare or pained expression as if they expected something). Am I imagining things and over-estimating female intentions or can everyone else validate this social fact?
I never bothered with the cold approach. I just didn't put much stock in this method of meeting people to date. A good chunk of the men in the age range I was interested in were attached, so it would have proven to be ineffective and a waste of time.
But online? Of the men I had positive and ongoing interactions with, or met and dated, I initiated contact, asked for their number, made the first call, made the first move, because that's how I did things.
One of my favorite topics. Yes, it's FINE for women to make the first move, either online or IRL. I have had this happen to me numerous times & overall love it.
And, by women making the first IRL I don't mean a woman standing next to me, sitting next to me, initiating eye contact, etc. & expecting me to pick up on the signals - they need to work harder than that to get me to make an effort. I mean a woman initiating a conversation with me and/or actually asking me out - so there is no misunderstanding her interest.
Women making the first doesn't feel right to me. In fact, it's emasculating. I've been approached by women who said men take too long asking women out. However men should ask women out and women should be courted. I don't find aggressive women attractive.
Women making the first doesn't feel right to me. In fact, it's emasculating. Men should ask women out and women should be courted. I don't find aggressive women attractive.
Speak for yourself. And, no, it's NOT emasculating. This attitude is why a lot of guys waste time going after women who aren't interested in them, because they buy into the culture which states that guys need to always be the pursuer. What a load of crap. This is simply not true.
In fact, the first time I had sex as a young teen was with a girl who made the first move; she was not a girlfriend (just a friend), was a couple of years older than me, and very sexually aggressive. I thought it was great. In fact, ever since then these types of woman are the ones I like to date.
Every guy who's made the first move on me has felt it way before I have.
I think that's generally what happens.
I'd be there to decide if I liked him, but they were there bc their mind was already made up.
Of course, most college guys would hit Bugs Bunny in a wig...
Speak for yourself. And, no, it's NOT emasculating. This attitude is why a lot of guys waste time going after women who aren't interested in them, because they buy into the culture which states that guys need to always be the pursuer. This is simply not true.
In fact, the first time I had sex as a young teen was with a girl who made the first move; she was not a girlfriend (just a friend), was a couple of years older than me, and very sexually aggressive. I thought it was great. In fact, ever since then these types of woman are the ones I like to date.
I do what works for me and I stand with what I said not my problem if you don't like my opinion.
But online? Of the men I had positive and ongoing interactions with, or met and dated, I initiated contact, asked for their number, made the first call, made the first move, because that's how I did things.
Yeah, makes sense. Though it happens IRL too, I've noticed many women feel more comfortable making the first move online (than IRL).
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