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Hello everyone and thank you for reading! I need an advice really bad. My head will explode if i don't figure this out!
I've with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I thought he was the one. I used to get butterflies in my stomach when i saw him. we were friends and then we started talking and liked each other. he did help me through very tough times. what sucks is that we never got to have normal relationship:dating, going out etc. we had to deal with all kinds of issues everyday. i was in love with him and one day he left his email open and i found out he was talking to women on different websites. it was some dirty disgusting stuff! i though my life was over. i was dumb enough to forgive and moved to a different state for him. and then i kept busting him with different women online. it got to the point i was scared to look when he left something on! there was always something. he kept promising that it was nothing and he just had self-esteem issues and needed to know that women still found him ok. i never talked to any guys, but he kept blaming me for having some invisible boyfriend. i do get attention from men, but i just don't think this is right. moreover, he lived with his ex for a long time and she had a kid. my boyfriend loves that girl so much even though she is not his daughter. he tell me that he doesn't want the kids of his own, that he is not going to be a good day, but he loves that woman's daughter!!!! from another man!!! having children is essential for me. he doesn't get it. he blames me for hating that kid. he doesn't understand that it hurts to see your man run to some other guy's kid and listen how he doesn't want his own. he also keeps telling me he would propose and the reason why he hasn't is because he didn't have the ring. i mean seriously. he has money to buy very expensive presents for that kid but he won't marry me without the ring. he always talks marriage when i tell him i want to leave him. those are just some of the issues. i am so upset over all this. i suffer depression and take pills. i can not take this anymore. am i wrong to hate this guy for loving someone's kid and not wanting his own and not proposing? should forgive his online cheating? i tell him to leave but he won't. please help with any advice.thanks
You are wrong for not leaving this guy long ago. The old tried-and-true advice applies to you – go get some serious therapy for yourself. You really need it to work through the issues you got from your dad being a jerk.
Don't you think you should leave? Hoping for a proposal is definitely going the wrong direction.
Why do you think you let yourself be treated so very badly?
This is not about him, it's about you.
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am i wrong to hate this guy for loving someone's kid and not wanting his own and not proposing?
This is a huge incompatibility you are likely never going to overcome. His proposing is not going to change that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blowmyheadoff
i can not take this anymore. should forgive his online cheating? i tell him to leave but he won't. please help with any advice.thanks
Since he's shown a pattern of online cheating, how many times are you going to forgive him, which appears to give him the green light to continue doing it?
Hello everyone and thank you for reading! I need an advice really bad. My head will explode if i don't figure this out!
I've with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I thought he was the one. I used to get butterflies in my stomach when i saw him. we were friends and then we started talking and liked each other. he did help me through very tough times. what sucks is that we never got to have normal relationship:dating, going out etc. we had to deal with all kinds of issues everyday. i was in love with him and one day he left his email open and i found out he was talking to women on different websites. it was some dirty disgusting stuff! i though my life was over. i was dumb enough to forgive and moved to a different state for him. and then i kept busting him with different women online. it got to the point i was scared to look when he left something on! there was always something. he kept promising that it was nothing and he just had self-esteem issues and needed to know that women still found him ok. i never talked to any guys, but he kept blaming me for having some invisible boyfriend. i do get attention from men, but i just don't think this is right. moreover, he lived with his ex for a long time and she had a kid. my boyfriend loves that girl so much even though she is not his daughter. he tell me that he doesn't want the kids of his own, that he is not going to be a good day, but he loves that woman's daughter!!!! from another man!!! having children is essential for me. he doesn't get it. he blames me for hating that kid. he doesn't understand that it hurts to see your man run to some other guy's kid and listen how he doesn't want his own. he also keeps telling me he would propose and the reason why he hasn't is because he didn't have the ring. i mean seriously. he has money to buy very expensive presents for that kid but he won't marry me without the ring. he always talks marriage when i tell him i want to leave him. those are just some of the issues. i am so upset over all this. i suffer depression and take pills. i can not take this anymore. am i wrong to hate this guy for loving someone's kid and not wanting his own and not proposing? should forgive his online cheating? i tell him to leave but he won't. please help with any advice.thanks
If your sister or best friend send you the above email asking for your advice. What would you say to her?
thank you for all your replies. Everyone is right, i should leave him. i want to but for some odd reason it is very hard. and he just won't leave. is it wrong for a man to love his ex's kid, who is not his? is it normal?
thank you for all your replies. Everyone is right, i should leave him. i want to but for some odd reason it is very hard. and he just won't leave. is it wrong for a man to love his ex's kid, who is not his? is it normal?
You're doing that thing where you're asking questions because you think you can change something or suddenly come to accept something and it will be all roses and champagne and la la la.
Who cares if it's normal or not? That's the reality and you either have to take it or leave it.
Given the information you provided, I would have left this bum a loooooooooong time ago. I suspect anyone with an ounce of self-respect would have done the same.
thank you for all your replies. Everyone is right, i should leave him. i want to but for some odd reason it is very hard. and he just won't leave. is it wrong for a man to love his ex's kid, who is not his? is it normal?
I'm sure if one thought hard enough, one could come up with a situation where that's justifiable, but your situation isn't one of them.
Your man is a bum, he's stringing you along, and you're wasting your time. You can leave him now, or get left later- whether for this ex of his or a random online woman.
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