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The only thing I would think is you don't like THAT guy.Why would I make the leap to think you are talking about all men when you are describing only one guy?
That is honest to God what you'd think?
You'd think I was being totally rational and that it was fine to think that way and that probably, it didn't indicate that I had a low opinion of guys I wasn't attracted to in general?
You'd think it was totally normal for an adult to use those descriptions? Not a fourth grader on the playground? And you'd think "Oh, she probably has only used words like 'loser' and 'reject' and 'ugly' about this ONE guy, I'm sure otherwise she just doesn't say such things, this is just so totally foreign to her and out of character, sure, let's let this one slide"?
Really?
ETA: Reminds me of What About Bob when the German lady says "That son of a b----!" about Dr. Marvin, and her husband says in open-eyed shock, "She NEVER says that!" and then the woman proceeds to say exactly the same thing at least twice more during the movie, LOL, with the husband saying EACH time, "She NEVER says that!"
My family dynamics are mostly correct. I would just add that my father when he was rarely around was absolutely lackluster. In honesty, lack of a very healthy relationship with my parents is a big reason why I think like I do. With my mother having another failed marriage to have to live down, it just sucks. My mother made bad choices but had good intentions. I don't want to repeat her mistakes. That's why I'm far more restrictive on who I pursue and get involved with the romantically.
At least you and 49er are somewhat introspective. I think that is why people try to help you. They see hope for you because, unlike many of the Bitter Boy Club, you actually have some insight into your actions. You actually might figure things out in several years or so.
It's not so much the words or whether or not they are said behind someone's back or not. It's the thoughts and feelings behind the words.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
I think the "bitter men" thing is a little overblown.
I think some men lash out because of a few reasons..one men have to be the pursuers so those of us who are shy and/or have anxiety that's a daunting task..add in facing a lot of rejection.. Then you have the societal standards that men can never be sad or upset or show weakness so a lot of angry comments may stem from not being able to handle having these sad emotions because we're told we shouldn't
So I think deep down a lot of us "bitter men" are decent people who mean well but sometimes we don't know how to manage these feelings and the hurt and may say stuff on the surface that seems mean but we dont really mean
Now don't get me wrong they'res a few percent of men online who seem and say downright scary stuff and seek like angry entitled sociopaths but I don't think the majority are like that
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,824,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
That is honest to God what you'd think?
You'd think I was being totally rational and that it was fine to think that way and that probably, it didn't indicate that I had a low opinion of guys I wasn't attracted to in general?
You'd think it was totally normal for an adult to use those descriptions? Not a fourth grader on the playground? And you'd think "Oh, she probably has only used words like 'loser' and 'reject' and 'ugly' about this ONE guy, I'm sure otherwise she just doesn't say such things, this is just so totally foreign to her and out of character, sure, let's let this one slide"?
Really?
ETA: Reminds me of What About Bob when the German lady says "That son of a b----!" about Dr. Marvin, and her husband says in open-eyed shock, "She NEVER says that!" and then the woman proceeds to say exactly the same thing at least twice more during the movie, LOL, with the husband saying EACH time, "She NEVER says that!"
Honest to God that is what I think. Why would I think you are takin about any other dude but THAT one?
When people are going to take bullying seriously? When people are going to finally stop it? Why anyone should become called ugly? Why people are expressing their dislike towards other people by the ways that they are committing suicides?
I think you are making too damn much over a use of term that was not said in someone's face. I don't call girls ugly to their faces or even use that term having drinks with my friends.
Yes it does. I don't care what negative thoughts you have about me as long as you don't tell me about it. Dissenter calling women who none of us know "ugly rejects" is nothing compared to the rudeness that gets directed to posters here.
But it speaks a LOT to his general attitude of negativity. Which is, I guarantee, telegraphed to others despite his claims that he saves up all his negativity for this little corner of the internet and projects a perfectly level demeanor toward the world at large.
Sorry, but people who are THAT negative aren't hiding it as well as they might be thinking they are.
To be honest there would probably be a dude who would date you because he agrees with you.
People who say such things don't care what anyone thinks of them.
I wouldn't think such a thing because I am not that type of person regardless of what anyone else thinks of me.
I'd date her because JerZ is a lovely woman, what stops me is that she is happily married and I won't derail that. If I approach a woman and she says she is taken in a capacity I stop dead in the tracks and wish her well. It could be bad karma trying to pursue a taken woman.
I think the "bitter men" thing is a little overblown.
I think some men lash out because of a few reasons..one men have to be the pursuers so those of us who are shy and/or have anxiety that's a daunting task..add in facing a lot of rejection.. Then you have the societal standards that men can never be sad or upset or show weakness so a lot of angry comments may stem from not being able to handle having these sad emotions because we're told we shouldn't
So I think deep down a lot of us "bitter men" are decent people who mean well but sometimes we don't know how to manage these feelings and the hurt and may say stuff on the surface that seems mean but we dont really mean
Now don't get me wrong there's a few percent of men online who seem and say downright scary stuff and seek like angry entitled sociopaths but I don't think the majority are like that
The males who do spew this mess online aren't really men; just fully grown boys (excluding the majority).
I'll give you an example: It's a double whammy for me and other women like myself, being that these women of which I speak are both female and Black. We get heat both ways because of stereotypes. It's like no matter how much an individual Black woman works hard and improves her life, she still gets the short end of the stick in the dating pool. She'll either be told she's too dark, not attractive enough, etc., or whatever excuse to throw her character under the bus. And don't let her make her own money either! The male might tell her that she has an attitude, is not submissive, etc. He'll say anything to make her feel bad about pulling her own weight. Go to any social media platform (YouTube is your best bet) for even more obvious proof.
I think the "bitter men" thing is a little overblown.
I think some men lash out because of a few reasons..one men have to be the pursuers so those of us who are shy and/or have anxiety that's a daunting task..add in facing a lot of rejection.. Then you have the societal standards that men can never be sad or upset or show weakness so a lot of angry comments may stem from not being able to handle having these sad emotions because we're told we shouldn't
So I think deep down a lot of us "bitter men" are decent people who mean well but sometimes we don't know how to manage these feelings and the hurt and may say stuff on the surface that seems mean but we dont really mean
Now don't get me wrong they'res a few percent of men online who seem and say downright scary stuff and seek like angry entitled sociopaths but I don't think the majority are like that
I think so as well. Guys like that get defensive because they feel as if they're being attacked for something they can't help. If you insult someone (not you in general) how is someone gonna act all surprised if they respond to you bitterly? I can feel the hurt and pain from some of the posts here; some people just don't understand it.
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