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Whatever works for you.. I just will never understand people who think all men should think and act exactly the same way and have the same wants and needs and women the same.. People are different even amongst the same gender as hard as that is for you to believe
The degrading and name calling of men who don't act how you want doesn't come of well either.. It makes somebody seem like a child who's stomping their feet and asking all men to act the way she wants to make her life easier..
Yup. When we frame behaviors as "natural" (particularly socially-conditioned behaviors), the implication is that anyone who doesn't conform is somehow abnormal or defective. Be it a spouse, children, parents, friends... a person will never be happy if they expect others to mold and conform to their ideals, rather than accepting them the way they are.
(Quite frankly, the idea of wanting to be chased is something I just don't understand. Maybe it feeds the ego, but I'd be too worried that, when the chase is over, it would be nothing but a letdown if I don't meet his expectations)
Yup. When we frame behaviors as "natural" (particularly socially-conditioned behaviors), the implication is that anyone who doesn't conform is somehow abnormal or defective. Be it a spouse, children, parents, friends... a person will never be happy if they expect others to mold and conform to their ideals, rather than accepting them the way they are.
(Quite frankly, the idea of wanting to be chased is something I just don't understand. Maybe it feeds the ego, but I'd be too worried that, when the chase is over, it would be nothing but a letdown if I don't meet his expectations)
Yup. When we frame behaviors as "natural" (particularly socially-conditioned behaviors), the implication is that anyone who doesn't conform is somehow abnormal or defective. Be it a spouse, children, parents, friends... a person will never be happy if they expect others to mold and conform to their ideals, rather than accepting them the way they are.
Yep
There is a sense of self-absorption in people who expect others to conform to their ideals and become hostile and demonstrative to those who do not. That's why I've always had a live and let live attitude. If what another person is doing has no negative effect on me then I could care less what they do.
As far as chasing though it really depends on what a person defines as chasing. If it means who initiates contact first then it is usually the man. If it means a man literally pursuing a woman even after she's shown no interest well that comes off as creepy and pushy. And if a woman wants to be pursued like that then it really is about ego stroking and attention whoring.
You see resentment and exhaustion caused by shouldering an unequal share of the burden of family life. You see a woman that is bubbling over and trying to find a way to get it right.
This may make me look unreasonable, but when your married to a passive man, this type of thing tends to fester. Aa a result, Mr Passive has everybody feeling sorry for him being married to someone who is "difficult"
Unless you have personal experience with this type of relationship, you opinion is unwarranted.
You married a passive man. Then you found out you are not fond of living life with a passive man.
A LOT of that is on you.
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I married a passive man. He did not do much chasing at all. He said he preffered to be chased. In my opinion, I think men are bred/born to chase whether they are laid back or more assertive, right?
I can chase and go for it full throttle but only if it's needed
If you are experienced with women and are confident in your ability then quite simply you don't have to....as you have ways to draw women towards them, whether it being a quick one liner to make them laugh, charm, or even a smile and a stare can do it.
Part of the trick is to actually make yourself approachable.
It's one thing to throw around words like chase and passive, etc. but those terms are subjective. If you do not give examples of what you mean everyone is thinking something different.
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OP, when I was single, my husband did the chasing. But even then, he is still calm and no worry kind of guy. Two different things. I take care of everything else. He takes care of the house. But he has always earned more money then I earn. But without me, the household will fall apart. Everybody knows this in family. No argument. Great marriage. There is nothing wrong with using everybody's strength in a marriage. I don't buy into the idea that women should do this and that. That's kind of boring, IMO.
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