Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotbloodedwoman
Well we've talked about commitment. Can you also explain to me what real intimacy is? I feel like even though I love my husband, he doesn't let me "see him". I feel like he's opaque and I'm squinting to get a better understanding. Are some people just always going to be like that...keeping your at arms length? truly never letting you in?
Yes. Those are people I can't have relationships with.
Well we've talked about commitment. Can you also explain to me what real intimacy is? I feel like even though I love my husband, he doesn't let me "see him". I feel like he's opaque and I'm squinting to get a better understanding. Are some people just always going to be like that...keeping your at arms length? truly never letting you in?
Some people are not wired to be that way. You can't force people to be like you and they are not doing it on purpose. There is nothing wrong with people like that.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Well we've talked about commitment. Can you also explain to me what real intimacy is? I feel like even though I love my husband, he doesn't let me "see him". I feel like he's opaque and I'm squinting to get a better understanding. Are some people just always going to be like that...keeping your at arms length? truly never letting you in?
This is me. I have been hurt in the past and I keep up the tough gir image so no one sees me hurting inside. I never let people into my emotions. Most people think I am
Just happy and fine all the time, because that is all They see.
There is no objective standard by which "intimacy" is measured, so therefore there is no such thing as "real intimacy".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotbloodedwoman
I feel like even though I love my husband, he doesn't let me "see him". I feel like he's opaque and I'm squinting to get a better understanding. Are some people just always going to be like that...keeping your at arms length? truly never letting you in?
Have you thought that this might be a compatibility issue between the two of you? That is, that it is something that is not just his issue?
I'm not the most open person in the world, by far. However, with the right person for me, I can open myself up quite a bit. How open I am with someone depends upon how compatible we are.
Perhaps you and your husband have just gotten to the point where you can no longer try to fit the square peg into the round hole?
Well we've talked about commitment. Can you also explain to me what real intimacy is? I feel like even though I love my husband, he doesn't let me "see him". I feel like he's opaque and I'm squinting to get a better understanding. Are some people just always going to be like that...keeping your at arms length? truly never letting you in?
Intimacy is letting yourself be open and vulnerable to another person.
"There can be no intimacy—emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, physical intimacy—without vulnerability. One of the reasons there is such an intimacy deficit today is because we don’t know how to be vulnerable. It’s about being honest with how we feel, about our fears, about what we need, and, asking for what we need. Vulnerability is a glue that holds intimate relationships together." - Brene Brown
Intimacy is letting yourself be open and vulnerable to another person.
"There can be no intimacy—emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, physical intimacy—without vulnerability. One of the reasons there is such an intimacy deficit today is because we don’t know how to be vulnerable. It’s about being honest with how we feel, about our fears, about what we need, and, asking for what we need. Vulnerability is a glue that holds intimate relationships together." - Brene Brown
I love Brene' Brown!!! Thanks!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
