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Old 06-05-2016, 09:08 PM
 
38 posts, read 28,086 times
Reputation: 13

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Hello everyone,

At the end of 2012 I met a man in an online dating site. I fell in love with him, but he only used me for sex.
I became addicted to him because my mother abandoned me when I was a child.
I tend to get scared of people in general. When someone gets too close to me, I get scared of getting hurt, so I tend to withdraw from that relationship (friends, family, men..,)
However, with this guy was different, not only because he was extremely attractive and sensual, but because he was not interested in having a relationship with me.
that game me the security he'd never get too close to me to the point of run away. But I fell in love with him.
He continued to be aloof with me, dating many other women in the meantime, denying to date me or take me to dinner, and even denying to have sex with me sometimes.
We had cycles of three month periods, in which everything was ok for the first two months, and inevitable he'd withdraw from me at some point. I'd get mad at him, start no contact for a couple months until I'd contact him again to re-start everything again.

My purpose was to get him to love me, but I never could. I'd meet him at his home, we'd have sex, we'd probably text after that, but he'd not invest too much on me. Even though he knew I loved him like crazy, he could never reciprocate that love for me, but he gave me sex instead. and breadcrumbs (he said he missed me, that he loved me...)

I'd search for him online though. He was in five different dating sites during 2013, 2014 and beginnings of 2015, when he completely disappeared from online dating.

He told me many times he was dating other women, but that he just wanted to be alone. Until he found the one, in 2015, and all our texting/meeting for sex stopped.

It's been more than 15 months since I last met him. and unfortunately I could not met anyone else that could make me feel the excitement I felt with him.

I became sour and more lonely that I ever used to be. I found myself missing him very much. Missing the time we spent together and wondering how come my feelings for him were so intense and his, on the contrary, so insignificant. He let me go many times, without even regretting so. He deleted me from Facebook without a blink of an eye one time. But here I am, missing a man that is in happy romantic relationship right now with another woman. He didn't choose me over her. He did not reach out in 15 months.

And even though I try with all my heart, I cannot forget about him.
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,960 posts, read 17,351,403 times
Reputation: 30258
I don't get why so many women fall for absolute losers, when there's a lot of good men in the world.

It just doesn't make sense; like kamikaze pilots wearing helmets.
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,975,596 times
Reputation: 98359
Remember these threads?

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post42548348

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ting-sour.html

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...tty-quick.html

A LOT of people took the time to offer you advice there. Have you taken any of it?
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:21 PM
 
38 posts, read 28,086 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Remember these threads?

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post42548348

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ting-sour.html

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...tty-quick.html

A LOT of people took the time to offer you advice there. Have you taken any of it?
Thank you for taking the time to review my posts

Yes, I did take the advice of the people who replied. Of course I did.
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:22 PM
 
38 posts, read 28,086 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
I don't get why so many women fall for absolute losers, when there's a lot of good men in the world.

It just doesn't make sense; like kamikaze pilots wearing helmets.
My guess is there's a lot of broken women out there, just like me. I don't find any other explanation to this.
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,975,596 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn_sweater View Post
Thank you for taking the time to review my posts

Yes, I did take the advice of the people who replied. Of course I did.
One thing I noticed is that you don't actually ASK any questions in your posts, but you type the same sorts of thoughts. It doesn't really seem like you have made any changes.

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Old 06-05-2016, 09:27 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,290 posts, read 52,723,379 times
Reputation: 52792
It's far easier to lament and think than"do". I can say this with a level of certainty.
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,960 posts, read 17,351,403 times
Reputation: 30258
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn_sweater View Post
My guess is there's a lot of broken women out there, just like me. I don't find any other explanation to this.
Well, to be fair, there's a lot of broken guys, too.

Take a break from dating and work on your self esteem
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:29 PM
 
38 posts, read 28,086 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
One thing I noticed is that you don't actually ASK any questions in your posts, but you type the same sorts of thoughts. It doesn't really seem like you have made any changes.

Mmm. I'd like to think I've made some changes but truth is I find myself longing for this guy over and over.
Can't really find my path yet.
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Old 06-05-2016, 09:30 PM
 
38 posts, read 28,086 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Well, to be fair, there's a lot of broken guys, too.

Take a break from dating and work on your self esteem
I'm not dating at all. I was thinking that might be the problem, that I'm lonely and I miss this guy because of my loneliness.
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