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At the end of 2012 I met a man in an online dating site. I fell in love with him, but he only used me for sex.
I became addicted to him because my mother abandoned me when I was a child.
I tend to get scared of people in general. When someone gets too close to me, I get scared of getting hurt, so I tend to withdraw from that relationship (friends, family, men..,)
However, with this guy was different, not only because he was extremely attractive and sensual, but because he was not interested in having a relationship with me.
that game me the security he'd never get too close to me to the point of run away. But I fell in love with him.
He continued to be aloof with me, dating many other women in the meantime, denying to date me or take me to dinner, and even denying to have sex with me sometimes.
We had cycles of three month periods, in which everything was ok for the first two months, and inevitable he'd withdraw from me at some point. I'd get mad at him, start no contact for a couple months until I'd contact him again to re-start everything again.
My purpose was to get him to love me, but I never could. I'd meet him at his home, we'd have sex, we'd probably text after that, but he'd not invest too much on me. Even though he knew I loved him like crazy, he could never reciprocate that love for me, but he gave me sex instead. and breadcrumbs (he said he missed me, that he loved me...)
I'd search for him online though. He was in five different dating sites during 2013, 2014 and beginnings of 2015, when he completely disappeared from online dating.
He told me many times he was dating other women, but that he just wanted to be alone. Until he found the one, in 2015, and all our texting/meeting for sex stopped.
It's been more than 15 months since I last met him. and unfortunately I could not met anyone else that could make me feel the excitement I felt with him.
I became sour and more lonely that I ever used to be. I found myself missing him very much. Missing the time we spent together and wondering how come my feelings for him were so intense and his, on the contrary, so insignificant. He let me go many times, without even regretting so. He deleted me from Facebook without a blink of an eye one time. But here I am, missing a man that is in happy romantic relationship right now with another woman. He didn't choose me over her. He did not reach out in 15 months.
And even though I try with all my heart, I cannot forget about him.
Yes, I did take the advice of the people who replied. Of course I did.
One thing I noticed is that you don't actually ASK any questions in your posts, but you type the same sorts of thoughts. It doesn't really seem like you have made any changes.
One thing I noticed is that you don't actually ASK any questions in your posts, but you type the same sorts of thoughts. It doesn't really seem like you have made any changes.
Mmm. I'd like to think I've made some changes but truth is I find myself longing for this guy over and over.
Can't really find my path yet.
Well, to be fair, there's a lot of broken guys, too.
Take a break from dating and work on your self esteem
I'm not dating at all. I was thinking that might be the problem, that I'm lonely and I miss this guy because of my loneliness.
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