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No, you are right. No one should be spoken to with derision, not in a marriage. It doesn't matter what the word is, it's how it's meant and how it affects you. Some people might say joking things to their spouses, but they are not you.
You say this has been happening more and more and that there are other things going on. It sounds like you and she need to get to the bottom of this other stuff.
Do you watch sitcoms? Give us an example of an act that you did that elicited a comment of "moron or idiot" from your wife.
Stopped at a stop sign and edged a little further out than they would have I guess..."Moron, don't you see that car?" I saw the car, it wasn't like I was going to pull out in front of it!
I think that she's using those terms as an insult, really hard to know why - but it can become a habit. This calls for an intervention by you. Sit her down and ask her why she uses those terms, and does she realise that she's saying them so often. Tell her that you are not an idiot or moron for doing anything; and, that using such words makes her seem rude and uncaring toward you. Make your comments quietly, simply, and to the point. See what she says...
Good luck.
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