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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
Since it hasn't been discussed you don't know that it's been the default, but my real comment is an admiring one. It must be tough to continually carry the mantle of hip urban professionals everywhere, who despite their numbers in your world don't seem to find their way here to offer you any support. Like ever. I guess they can't be bothered by the rabble, or perhaps they're too busy being fabulous?
It has been discussed. As I said, I discuss these thing with people I date. You conveniently glossed over this part, despite it being most of the second paragraph of my statement, as well as being stated earlier.
I'm not hip at all (far from it), and actually not all that urban in most ways, but thank you.
This board is super super conservative by all accounts. Not just this sub forum, but the entire place. It's reputation is well known for that, hence its nickname stormfront-lite. So one shouldn't be surprised by the super conservative viewpoints being the majority, especially since more progressive types are run out of here rather quickly, or they just stop posting due to the repressive viewpoints projected here (I keep in touch with some former posters offline that have been pushed off). Heck, when one has a LGBT or kinkster community person post you know its going to get jumped on (and always does) by the moral majority.
And, according to you, it happens with an explicit discussion- no more, no less.
I certainly hope that you don't assume that other people know that this is your default position.
I think there seems to be a common belief among the posters here that woman A and woman B are being monogamous or exclusive and have presented the impression to guy A that anything else would be a deal breaker? If guy A doesn't continually ask if these 2 women are seeing anyone else, have plans to see anyone else, what their thoughts are, then he doesn't have an accurate picture either.
I don't think he stated that he has asked them specific details of whether or not they see anyone else. He is assuming they will be hurt. Neither may be hurt, maybe guy A will be hurt to find out either is already seeing others? Why wouldn't they be seeing other men?
Maybe woman A and woman B will bring about the discussion to relieve their own conscious as they would also like to make it clear they (or either) want to keep their options open but dont want to hurt guy A?
The point not being deception but but one of no official declaration. I wish we wouldn't assume the women will be "hurt". They may be in the same place as guy A in their relationships? Not all women are unwilling to be open minded, One may approve that he's seeing others and the pressure's off to decide they would like to as well--or discuss that they have been.
This board is super super conservative by all accounts. Not just this sub forum, but the entire place. It's reputation is well known for that, hence its nickname stormfront-lite. So one shouldn't be surprised by the super conservative viewpoints being the majority, especially since more progressive types are run out of here rather quickly, or they just stop posting due to the repressive viewpoints projected here (I keep in touch with some former posters offline that have been pushed off). Heck, when one has a LGBT or kinkster community person post you know its going to get jumped on (and always does) by the moral majority.
I hadn't really noticed that about CD but then again I avoid the Politics forum like the plague, too many angry nuts. I am a progressive and I don't think we're outnumbered, just out yelled.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1986pacecar
I hadn't really noticed that about CD but then again I avoid the Politics forum like the plague, too many angry nuts. I am a progressive and I don't think we're outnumbered, just out yelled.
I don't mean just the politics forum, I avoid that, but even the real estate and jobs forums. The entire place. But can't say too much because one can get infractions for discussing moderation. It is, what it is. It definitely can be helpful for people wanting to move to a new region, which is how I think most people find this board.
Perhaps it was the way he put this that it sure does make it seem as if he has no intention of letting either one know.
Are you saying you WILL tell if asked?
And what have you said this trip is for? Any deceit involved?
I haven't decided what I will say the trip is for yet. Depends on where we are at in a month and the advice I am given.
I just don't want to hurt either of them. If I'm honest that will cause more pain for both. After this trip with girl A our relationship will likely fade away due to the distance.
Let's get real. You don't want to be honest because it will be unpleasant for YOU, not them. This is classic -- a guy avoids confrontation at all costs and strings a woman along because he's afraid to have the conversation. He hopes she will lose interest, meanwhile she is left wondering what the hell is going on because the guy is too much of a [rhymes with wussy] to tell her.
Let's get real. You don't want to be honest because it will be unpleasant for YOU, not them. This is classic -- a guy avoids confrontation at all costs and strings a woman along because he's afraid to have the conversation. He hopes she will lose interest, meanwhile she is left wondering what the hell is going on because the guy is too much of a [rhymes with wussy] to tell her.
If you keep woman A in the dark, knowing what you know, you are stringing her along. I'd cancel the trip.
You're just avoiding creating an uncomfortable situation for yourself by not shooting straight with a person you know is crazy about you, and trying to fall back on, " But in all fairness, we never explicitly stated that we were exclusive, we just happened to act the part," thing.
Well things will never be exclusive long term relationship with lady A. She is 100's of miles away now. But we still have this trip planned in a month that I don't want to cancel.
Define "100's of miles away". Is that 3 hours on cruise control on an interstate highway? Or is 5+ hours by car with a major city traffic jam in the way? Or is it pretty much a mandatory airplane ride?
I've had a), b), and c) as long distance relationships. There's a distance where you need to either move forward and figure out who is going to move or you end it.
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