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i've been in a relationship (also the only relationship i've been in) for almost 6 years now, we began dating in 8th grade and we recently graduated together. ever since the beginning of senior year, our relationship has lost its spark. if anything, we act like old friends, there's no passion and recently, everything he does ends up aggravating me in one way or another. he can be extremely jealous and tends to guilt me into hanging out with him instead of my friends. we get along just fine, but lately i've come to realize we want different things; he wants marriage and kids, i want to be free to travel and no kids in any foreseeable alternate timeline that i've concocted in my mind. he's also extremely immature, and our sense of humor conflicts greatly. humor is a big thing for me in relationships, as is a lack of intense jealousy.
i'm afraid that i'm missing out on life. he's talked about us moving in together, and i managed to worm my way out of that one, but how long can i worm out? should i have to worm out of a future with him? this isn't at all sudden, as it's been a slowly progressing need to leave. i've even brought up the whole "i just don't feel it anymore" conversation with him, telling him i need more emotional support. he told me things would change; that lasted about three weeks. the biggest shove toward the edge was about two months ago when i told him that i would be taking a gap year and moving in with a friend instead of him. he proceeded to tell me that everything i do is a mistake, that i'll regret it later, and that i'm too naive. he made me cry, and he barely apologized for it, and pretended it never happened. two weeks ago, i told him i would be moving soon and getting a job an hour away. he got angry and tried to use my social anxiety against me, asking me incredulously if "i could handle it".
he's very immature and never really supports my feelings, and i know it's just him and that he can't really change. and i can't change that. i'm afraid to settle for this monotonous life and miss out on what could be. what should i do? i love him and don't want to hurt him, even for the times he's hurt me. i can't stand to think about what he may do or say if i try to leave. i don't want to hurt him, but i'm no longer in love. i feel like i'm staying for the sake of being in a relationship, like i'm staying in fear of leaving a long term relationship and not knowing what to do once i'm out of it. every time i look into his eyes i feel guilty for wanting to leave because i can see that he truly loves me, and i can no longer feel the same for him. what do i do.
Mature adults don't attempt to or do not "worm (their way) out" of an important discussion/decision.
If you are unhappy because you feel he is not supportive, or just aren't ready to proceed into furthering your relationship towards marriage (I presume this would be the ultimate goal), then put your big girl panties on and have an honest discussion with him about this.
At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness.
Girl, run like hades, there's a whole world out there to explorer, seriously, run! These are you exploratory years coming up! You have plenty of time in the future to settle down.
OP, I only read a few lines. Get out. Now. Do not "worm your way out". Just tell him you two have evolved in different directions from one another. If he demands an example, tell him what you said about not being interested in kids in the foreseeable future. But don't let him argue with you. Screw up your resolve beforehand, and just put your foot down if he argues, and say you've made your decision, and that's final. There is no one else; 6 years is enough, and you're moving on. The end. Be firm. Don't let yourself be bullied.
Girl, run like hades, there's a whole world out there to explorer, seriously, run! These are you exploratory years coming up! You have plenty of time in the future to settle down.
Yes, it will hurt him and you if you broke off your relationship, but it will hurt you even more in the long run if you stay-never getting a chance to enjoy life the way you want to. It's up to you to decide what's best for you, and you don't have to cater your life to pleasing him. You're too young to do all of that, anyways.
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