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Again? You've been posting garbage about this guy for how long now and you're still with this piece of crap?
At this point you just deserve this because you're willing to put up with it so you can keep posting here about the abuse. Until you're counselor can "fix" your issues with yourself, you will always attract/be attracted to the same type of guy-abusers, and these guys are everywhere, you don't have to dig for immigrants-they're in your back yard.
Again? You've been posting garbage about this guy for how long now and you're still with this piece of crap?
At this point you just deserve this because you're willing to put up with it so you can keep posting here about the abuse. Until you're counselor can "fix" your issues with yourself, you will always attract/be attracted to the same type of guy-abusers, and these guys are everywhere, you don't have to dig for immigrants-they're in your back yard.
First, it's "your counselor," not "you're counselor."
Last, nobody deserves to be abused. Read below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.mhernandez
Wow that was a very interesting story. That was nice of you to let your wife have that time to clear her head. I agree with you, I am going to go on vacation & if he leaves me when I return...so be it. I would never dare to tell him he cannot do something without me unless it was something really crazy like a rave or something lol.
Thanks, and yes I will go on the trip...just don't know if I will go dancing or not like I want to
As for the timeline, I filed for divorce from my first husband in March 2015 after about 4.5 years together. I met my current husband in August 2015 and we got married end of April 2016. My divorce took 1 year to actually go thru (so finalized Jan 2016) because my ex-husband refused to sign....
Here's a thought:
Don't go on the trip. Go to a therapist right now and work through this stuff. You don't even get how absolutely insanely unhealthy your choices are. And you come here with a supposedly *little* issue but that's all it is one issue. It's not the big picture.
Yes, your husband is being a jerk. But this is not about him, it's about you. You need someone to help you see.
Sure, we could help you figure out what to do *right now* with "this" issue. But there will be another and another and until *you* put a stop to it, it will continue.
Been there done that. Therapy helped me gain clarity and control.
In my previous post, I discussed all the issues i've been having with my husband. We have only been married 8 months. He had sent p*rn scenes where he photoshopped his head on the man & his friend's sister on the woman to a friend, he has messages from his ex fiancee & her best friend (not terrible, but not "right" to talk to them), he told me I'm not allowed to take photos with other men...when he saw a pic of myself and my longtime coworker at a work Christmas party posing with a prize we won.
To make a long story short, last night I finally confronted him about the pics. He claims that his friends send him p*rn but he tries to delete it. He got mad about an acne mark I had on my neck and asked me who made the mark....then he got angry that I am going to visit my aunt & 2 female cousins in Louisiana next weekend alone. The last time I asked him to go in March, he told me "I hate Louisiana, no. It's all voodoo magic and h**kers" and he never takes off work to go places with me cuz he works construction.
He was even more angry because my female cousin & I were going to have a "girl's night" and go out dancing at a bar. My husband knows I LOVE to dance, it's one of my passions especially latin dancing. I have not gone out with ANY friends alone this year, even tho I am 25 years old. He said "If you go to Louisiana next week, you will come back & I will be gone. You will be single. I'm not going to control you it's your choice." I reminded him I let him go out alone this summer with his friend i'll call "Mike" multiple times to go to a bar downtown and to his friends house to drink/play video games till 2 am...he said that it was ok for him because I was sick with my heart problems so I couldn't go due to the hot weather.
We scream and cry for an hour over other things. I then say "Ok, am I allowed to go to Louisiana if I don't go to any bar, just spend time with my family?" He said "It's not a good idea. I don't like that idea at all. I have a bad feeling in my chest that something will happen if you go alone without me there to protect you." I said "You never have that premonition when I go to work alone in Alabama. why did you marry me if you don't trust me?" Then he says "No it's not about trust. I just have this bad feeling in my chest that something bad is going to happen. You aren't my slave so go if you want, but I don't like the idea at all." I asked him if he still loves me & he said "i'll love you forever."
So....now I don't know what to do, I feel sick. If I don't go see my family, my husband will be happy. If I do go see them, my husband has threatened to leave me. I don't know what to do, is this normal for a husband to not want his wife to go on vacation alone???
He is just bluffing, and his threat probably don't mean a thing. Call his bluff and just go, spend time with your family. Go feel the love and energy from the people who really loves you, and wants to see you. It will do you good.
Start with baby steps. Spend some time single, maybe at least 6 months, to work on yourself. Then try just dating someone. You don't have to get married! You're young, you still have your whole life ahead of you.
I would say that six months is bare minimum at best. After divorce from my first wife I lived like a monk for two years re-examining myself, assessing my faults in that 25-year marriage, reinventing myself and determining what had gone wrong with my woman-picker and repairing it. If I was ever going to enter into a committed relationship again I wanted to do it right. I strongly recommend it.
Oh wow that's crazy! Drinking milk & making himself sick just to control you? Glad you got out of that marriage.
It drives me crazy when my husband does that. Funny how his stomach is never sick when we are at his friend's house for a BBQ...
My sister is the one who actually caught him doing it. He hated her guts after she called him out on it. Yep, he would get stomach cramps and the runs and we would have to leave. I never would have figured it out if she hadn't busted him. And no, it never happened when it was something he wanted to do. Boy, I could tell you some stories about this guy and the stuff he pulled, and the crazy things he accused me of. All totally unfounded. Your husband sounds like he is made of the same cloth. Don't waste half your life trying to make him into a reasonable person; it won't happen. It will just get worse.
My sister is the one who actually caught him doing it. He hated her guts after she called him out on it. Yep, he would get stomach cramps and the runs and we would have to leave. I never would have figured it out if she hadn't busted him. And no, it never happened when it was something he wanted to do. Boy, I could tell you some stories about this guy and the stuff he pulled, and the crazy things he accused me of. All totally unfounded. Your husband sounds like he is made of the same cloth. Don't waste half your life trying to make him into a reasonable person; it won't happen. It will just get worse.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. It really does help me to see that I'm in a bad relationship and need to get out ASAP. It's strange...since Wednesday he's being trying to act like the "model husband." He gave me a foot massage, kissed me, and told me that he does not want to abuse me anymore. But I'm not buying it. I know as soon as I get back from my vacation to see my family, he'll pull something either by leaving me as promised or trying to make me miserable while I'm still on my trip by using threats.
[quote=mrs.mhernandez;46745978]Thank you for sharing your story with me. It really does help me to see that I'm in a bad relationship and need to get out ASAP. It's strange...since Wednesday he's being trying to act like the "model husband." He gave me a foot massage, kissed me, and told me that he does not want to abuse me anymore. But I'm not buying it. I know as soon as I get back from my vacation to see my family, he'll pull something either by leaving me as promised or trying to make me miserable while I'm still on my trip by using threats.[/QUOTE]
Laugh them and him off and follow your heart. Enjoy your real family.
You're a creepy weirdo for staying with this dude.
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