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I met my fiance on one of the OLD sites. I did not know her prior to having our first date together, but I remember talking to her on the phone saying what my OLD goals were: To date, and eventually seek a long-lasting relationship. I believe I told her that I was not looking for a "friend" in a traditional sense or a text buddy, but someone who seeking a possible long-term relationship too. She agreed with me. We went out on our first date. The date went well. I kissed her. We went out on more dates. Our relationship grew romantically and so did our friendship. I now consider her my friend, my lover, my confidant. Someone you share your deep thoughts too that you would not share with your family or even your non-romantic friends.
So we developed a friendship while dating, but other people will decide to become friends first before they start to date.
When you met your Significant Other (SO). How did you meet? Were you friends before dating or did you become friends while dating?
I met my fiance on one of the OLD sites. I did not know her prior to having our first date together, but I remember talking to her on the phone saying what my OLD goals were: To date, and eventually seek a long-lasting relationship. I believe I told her that I was not looking for a "friend" in a traditional sense or a text buddy, but someone who seeking a possible long-term relationship too. She agreed with me. We went out on our first date. The date went well. I kissed her. We went out on more dates. Our relationship grew romantically and so did our friendship. I now consider her my friend, my lover, my confidant. Someone you share your deep thoughts too that you would not share with your family or even your non-romantic friends.
So we developed a friendship while dating, but other people will decide to become friends first before they start to date.
When you met your Significant Other (SO). How did you meet? Were you friends before dating or did you become friends while dating?
I've never been friends first with anyone I dated. Dating and friendship always grew in tandem. I wasn't looking to collect male friends, I was looking to date. Investing in platonic opposite sex relationships would have taken away from time I was spending on potential romantic endeavours. And if I was being friends first but secretly hoping it would turn into something more, that seems manipulative and the opposite of what a true friendship would be.
And if I was being friends first but secretly hoping it would turn into something more, that seems manipulative and the opposite of what a true friendship would be.
I agree. You might as well be upfront with that person from the beginning saying you are interested in them. Make your intentions known upfront.
The term "friends" is used loosely....
Many, and I'm one, have met someone they're interested in. I believe that if there's common ground, the friendship is there, in that you're already friendly with each other...
However, if you are interested in going further, only to get the "let's just be friends" speech - known as "friendzoning", do you really want to be "just friends" with someone you're romantically interested in? While they're seeing someone else?
Sorry, not for me. I believe that the "friendship" is already there, once you've built a rapport. But to be "just friends" after that, I'd say, "Have a nice day."
If you're friends with the eventual goal of dating, then you're not real friends.
Friends aren't supposed to have ulterior motives. That would make you a crappy friend.
If you happen to be real, actual friends who one day realize your feelings have changed, this might be the ideal situation.
But I doubt that happens much.
If you're friends with the eventual goal of dating, then you're not real friends.
Friends aren't supposed to have ulterior motives. That would make you a crappy friend.
If you happen to be real, actual friends who one day realize your feelings have changed, this might be the ideal situation.
But I doubt that happens much.
Tell that to the sap who does everything for the friend, hoping one day he/she will be recognized, only to have the "friend" treat them like a doormat! I've been there, many years ago, and boy, I've learned my lesson. Never again! If I'm not seen as relationship material, adios.
Tell that to the sap who does everything for the friend, hoping one day he/she will be recognized, only to have the "friend" treat them like a doormat! I've been there, many years ago, and boy, I've learned my lesson. Never again! If I'm not seen as relationship material, adios.
Quoted for truth.
I think it's okay to start dating someone you're already friends with, but becoming their friend just so you can eventually date them? No way, no thanks. I have no time for it and I won't settle for this if I like someone. I'll sever ties before anything.
If you're friends with the eventual goal of dating, then you're not real friends.
Friends aren't supposed to have ulterior motives. That would make you a crappy friend.
If you happen to be real, actual friends who one day realize your feelings have changed, this might be the ideal situation.
But I doubt that happens much.
I'm kinda glad you brought this up. I'm in a similar situation right now.
This girl, who expressed interest in me, wanted to be "just friends" after i told her that I wasn't interested. But my problem is that she calls and texts everyday; sometimes multiple times a day.
Do you know how hard it is to have any male friends as a woman? My best friend is male and gay and it is a perfect balance. However I would have loved to have had the chance (esp when younger) to have a friend who developed into a boyfriend. I feel like this is rarely possible irl and something that women are interested in much more than men. Just my experience and opinion.
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