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More of a chance than if you don't talk to him about it or aren't understanding.
But, every relationship has less chance of working out than it does of not working out.
Yours has less chance than that due to the circumstances of its beginning.
You're not listening.
His feelings will probably never go completely away.
I feel that you are not listening.
Residual feelings are to be expected.
Calling/texting the ex about them is not. That's a move to see how they feel about you. It's intimacy with a third party.
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New relationships have a lifespan of about 3 months, especially rebounds.
You are the rebound girl. Sorry.
Nothing is impossible but it isn't what you want. You don't have to get out of the relationship. It can wither away, and it will.
If by some miracle it doesn't then that will be a miracle, Hallelujah!!!
Honestly you would have better luck if you dumped him and waited. There is a reason he isn't with his ex. They can't be together but he isn't over her and he needs to do that but you are the substitute. That alters his feelings for you because he is ambivalent. If you break up then he might want you back if you give him time. If the withering happens first then there isn't much of a chance. The withering is happening or he wouldn't be 'into' anybody else at all.
Honestly you would have better luck if you dumped him and waited. There is a reason he isn't with his ex. They can't be together but he isn't over her and he needs to do that but you are the substitute. That alters his feelings for you because he is ambivalent.[/QUOTE]
Why can't they be together? If he wanted to be back with her he would, wouldn't he?
Why can't they be together? If he wanted to be back with her he would, wouldn't he?
That is a good question, but that's not how it works in real life.
He was with someone he loved for a long time. They have history. At one time, there was a lot of love. His feelings started to waver... because that's what happens sometimes in long term relationships. Plus his partner was depressed/anxious and that made it harder for her to be a fully there girlfriend. Doubting your relationship during trying times is par for the course.
While his feelings were waning he met someone else. She gave him butterflies. She had some of the qualities his girlfriend was missing. Eventually, he drifted her way.
He cut one girlfriend off for this new person. But, now he's finding you can't live your emotional life around one person then turn it off like a light switch at will. The new girl (you) is still great, but he still cares deeply for the old one... and now the depression is getting better and... maybe he was hasty... but his new girlfriend is nice... I mean it doesn't hurt to be friends either way... and what kind of person just cuts off an old friend right? What's the harm?... there's no harm in being honest about missing her.. who wouldn't miss her, she's an amazing person... right?
Letting go completely is painful, people avoid the pain and lie about why they are doing it - to themselves and/or other people.
If he hadn't jumped into this relationship with you they'd be able to work through this on their own. Perhaps they'd end up back together. Or not. But now you're here so (assuming he's a good person underneath it all) he's going to avoid dealing with his feelings head on, and tell himself she's just a friend.
Until he can't lie to himself any more and has to act one way or another.
If he's a good guy he'll be honest about what he's feeling as soon as he realizes he's feeling it. Even if it doesn't work out in your favor it will be handled with dignity.
If not this could get messy.
But either way, this starts with a conversation with him.
He's too old for you. You need time to grow up and would be better off spending your time with other kids closer to your age. What are you doing for your education? College? If no, why not?
Clinging to him and this relationship is the exact wrong thing to do. Don't waste the pretty. Go and date LOTS of people (but don't go and sleep with all of them). Expand your life. Pursue other interests besides him. If you don't have any other interests, find some. Continue your education. Time is the one thing you can never get back and it's the one thing you'll wish you could when you're older.
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