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You're in a niche...single parents have to accept the reality that their options are narrow and more specialized. Also, if you are looking for something more than a hookup, avoid hookup-centric apps and sites.
So I have been Tindering it up and been failing pretty hard. I have met one girl but she had so many red flags that I identified but tried to ignore since I really had good convo with her.
My big issue is girls see that I have a child (I put it front and center to ensure the expectation is set) and they don't want to talk. When we do get to talk, if the convo about kids comes up, I say very strictly that I am not having anymore kids. I'm 31 with an almost 6 year old. I'm good. I don't want anymore, no one is convincing me, I just dont want to go through the newborn phase again and i just dont have money to support another child.
That makes it exceptionally hard to find someone. Anyone below 27 seems to want to just have fun and party and travel the world. Anyone over that age is looking for marriage and kids. I feel a bit stuck. I dont want to pull away and not look for "the one" but I feel like having these two strikes is a warning sign to women to stay away. I dont want to compromise because I know what's right for me, focusing on my daughter only.
Uhm your post says it all, "focusing on my daughter only." How do you expect to find "the one" when you aren't open to finding her?
Get your rocks off when you can, build a FWB relationship if you must, and continue down your path of focusing only on your own needs and desires and child.
You seem to not have everything thought through and to be quite un"comprising" which is the 1 STRIKE that matters the most.
And just because it irks me so... how can your daugther, your only focus, be labelled by YOU a "strike" against you. Come on?
Ehh I'm in Queens. We aren't as snobish as the Manhattanites and Brooklynites (even though most arent even from NYC). I dont get all the Jersey hate. Minus Jersey Shore and Chris Christie.
I loved Sopranos.
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme
Uhm your post says it all, "focusing on my daughter only." How do you expect to find "the one" when you aren't open to finding her?
Get your rocks off when you can, build a FWB relationship if you must, and continue down your path of focusing only on your own needs and desires and child.
You seem to not have everything thought through and to be quite un"comprising" which is the 1 STRIKE that matters the most.
And just because it irks me so... how can your daugther, your only focus, be labelled by YOU a "strike" against you. Come on?
Right? This irks most any guy who reads that from a single mother on an OD site, I'm sure. That should go without saying, but...
Then again, this is Tinder. Never tried it myself, but I'd doubt too many women there would have their values on the up and up and view OP in any sort of positive light.
It's definitely something to be concerned about for a young person, if you're thinking about a relationship with someone who has a child. You want to have some fun, but the potential partner has to worry about mealtimes and bedtimes and picking the kid up from daycare, and then there's the concern about how to have sex (if you get to that point) with a child in the next room. So I'd have thought you'd have the most success with another single parent. And there are far more single mothers than single fathers, so at least the numbers favor you.
Uhm your post says it all, "focusing on my daughter only." How do you expect to find "the one" when you aren't open to finding her?
Get your rocks off when you can, build a FWB relationship if you must, and continue down your path of focusing only on your own needs and desires and child.
You seem to not have everything thought through and to be quite un"comprising" which is the 1 STRIKE that matters the most.
And just because it irks me so... how can your daugther, your only focus, be labelled by YOU a "strike" against you. Come on?
What I meant was a bit different then I how I wrote it. What I meant was that I'm happy with focusing only on my daughter. I'm not going to become a party animal or being some world traveller. She is my main focus. I know that is daunting and I'm sure I am limiting my possibilities but I would rather that than be a selfish father.
As for dating, what are some sites you would recommend? I'm more comfortable dating online than going to bars or meet ups.
Also when I say strike I'm talking in the sense of a girl looking at my life and making a judgement. Not that my daughter is a strike against me.
That is certainly something I have looked into. Stops that discussion all together. Maybe something to do this year. My suggesting it to someone I dated a bit caused her to get upset that I would do that.
Why do you feel the need to tell all your business and plans right from the start? Why can't you just date someone, go out a few times and see how things go?
I picture you on a first date "Hi I'm skilldeadly and just so you know I don't want anymore kids, already have on, want to order an appetizer?".
I guess with social media many today(and especially younger people) seem to think everything must be broadcast right away.
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