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I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or he will come over to me and talk nonsense just so he can speak to me. The problem is he is married with 3 children.
I have to shut my feelings off for him and act as though they don't exist. He makes things awkward as I will walk in the office and I catch him staring at me or he will go in to the kitchen when I go. I don't think he is happy at home as he moans about his children and how much they cost and he sighs at how he has the children on his own at weekends as his wife works shifts. Today I got flustered as he came near me, I know I cannot involved but how can I deal with this knowing he fancies me too.
I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or he will come over to me and talk nonsense just so he can speak to me. The problem is he is married with 3 children.
I have to shut my feelings off for him and act as though they don't exist. He makes things awkward as I will walk in the office and I catch him staring at me or he will go in to the kitchen when I go. I don't think he is happy at home as he moans about his children and how much they cost and he sighs at how he has the children on his own at weekends as his wife works shifts. Today I got flustered as he came near me, I know I cannot involved but how can I deal with this knowing he fancies me too.
He is married - stay away from him! What are you hoping for? He is a tease, and a flirt, and most likely a cheater too.
His happiness at home is not your concern. Don't be a marriage breaker...
I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or he will come over to me and talk nonsense just so he can speak to me. The problem is he is married with 3 children.
I have to shut my feelings off for him and act as though they don't exist. He makes things awkward as I will walk in the office and I catch him staring at me or he will go in to the kitchen when I go. I don't think he is happy at home as he moans about his children and how much they cost and he sighs at how he has the children on his own at weekends as his wife works shifts. Today I got flustered as he came near me, I know I cannot involved but how can I deal with this knowing he fancies me too.
Don't throw him a rope or he will drag you down in the same quick sand.
I would say, bite the bullet, and say, loudly and clearly, in front of other people, "Sir, I like and respect you as a colleague but not in any other way. You are married and you are making me feel very uncomfortable right now."
Then I would walk away and go back to work as though what you just did was a normal thing and you just expected him to stop whatever it is that is making you uncomfortable.
He will be unhappy with you too -- because if he leaves his wife and kids he will have to pay a ton of child support for 3 kids, maybe alimony depending on how long he has been with his wife and what state you live in, and lose half or more of whatever he owns....
So unless you want to end up supporting this guy and all the drama that goes with his situation I would leave married men alone. Not worth the trouble. Find someone single who has something to offer you. Cheating is a serious character flaw.
Just picture him moving in with you, you paying most of the living expenses and having to take care of his three kids while his wife is working. Oh and don't forget you will have to deal with a very angry ex wife for at least 18 years. Reality should cure you of any romantic attraction YOU have for this married man.
I would say, bite the bullet, and say, loudly and clearly, in front of other people, "Sir, I like and respect you as a colleague but not in any other way. You are married and you are making me feel very uncomfortable right now."
Then I would walk away and go back to work as though what you just did was a normal thing and you just expected him to stop whatever it is that is making you uncomfortable.
That would a horrible thing to do! Doesn't sound like he's done anything to warrant being shamed for at work in front of everyone. She could ruin his reputation over something imagined.
She could say it to him privately..... and accomplish the same thing... if she wants to.
I don't see where he's hit on her or or asked her out. Being friendly and flirty is not cheating.
I fell for a married man,I would not bother they very rarely leave their wives,it's too costly,it's too damaging and why would you want to cause another woman so much distress.truly think about it.
If he likes you so much he will do a trial separation first,if he has any sort of respect within himself.There is no need to hurt and deceive people who have long loved you and carried your babies.
The fact that you even mention how he's tired of his children says a lot about your priorities, and if he was to ever leave her for you what sort of terrible influence would you be on them that you didn't even think about their hurt or feelings.
I know it's very hard when there is lots of spark and gazing between you and it's quite hard to put them out of your mind,but really affairs are very damaging,some women waste years of their life on men who are married and never leave.Then they never find someone who could give them everything.
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