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I'm reading a fantastic book right now and it asked this same question.
So I present it to any of you who are married, divorced, separated, or widowed: What do you wish someone had given you a heads-up about before you got married?
Don't. I wish someone had told me not to! Well, that was the first time, which went wrong almost from the start.
Well, at least I learned a lot from that, and thought a lot about what I needed to make a successful relationship the next time. First of all, IMO, marriage is optional, because it often fails and is expensive and messy to exit. Better not to go there at all. If you can't commit fully without marrying, then marriage won't fix that problem.
However, if you must marry - or simply want a good relationship - you have to learn about the things that make for great compatibility, and not compromise on them. Things like values, honest, clear communication, complementary personality, mutual goals and means of reaching them, similar beliefs and attitudes, some shared interests and activities, and - often overlooked - similar libidos, attitudes towards sex and initiating, and range and frequency of things you like to do in the bedroom (or elsewhere).
Ideally, you have each other's best interest at heart, and do what your partner likes - which may not be what you think they should like.
Wait until you're older (I was 23) and by the way, you can have a wonderful productive and satisfying life without ever bringing another child into the world.
Nothing. I knew fully what I was getting myself into and the commitment needed on my part. I also knew what would happen if it failed. But I didn't know how much more heart wrenching it would be than previous relationships when it did fail.
I guess, being married dropped my guards; thinking it would last till the end. So not the case.
By the time I got married I already am in my 40s so I already know what to do with my life. MY marriage is not perfect. Actually my marriage was super rocky in the first year, especially the first months. But now it is really going good.
I ask my husband something recently and he just blurted out you are the love of my life... aawwww.
Although at the moment I was like WTF... LOL. Maybe coz I was really surprised coz it has nothing to do with my question.
1. Wait until you're at least 25, if not older.
2. Kids change everything.
3. If you hate his/her family or they hate you, don't get married.
4. Kids change everything.
5. If you are not 100% committed to caring for and supporting (emotional/social/mental/and yes, sometimes financial) person for the rest of your life, don't get married.
6. People change and grow - you will have to be able to change and grow together. If you expect your spouse to be the exact same person at 40 that they were at 25, you will both be unhappy.
7. Kids change everything.
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