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I dont think so. What I think happened was my wife took my feelings about the games and pranks they were doing as not appropriate and told him to stop. Then the second time, I think he was trying to talk to her about how she looked or something to that effect and stopped it. He doesnt look at her the same when he came over last weekend, and my wife barely talks to him unless they are either about to go to work or after.
I dont think so. What I think happened was my wife took my feelings about the games and pranks they were doing as not appropriate and told him to stop. Then the second time, I think he was trying to talk to her about how she looked or something to that effect and stopped it. He doesnt look at her the same when he came over last weekend, and my wife barely talks to him unless they are either about to go to work or after.
It sounds like you've done all you can do with THEM.
It's really up to her to maintain those boundaries, so the only thing left for you to work on now is taking a look at how much of this is legitimately inappropriate behavior on their part and how much of it is your anxiety at work.
Try to be as level-headed about it as you can, and keep working on showing your wife how much you care about her on a daily basis. Hopefully she does the same for you.
To me, it sounds like both of them aren't respecting the relationship. The friend obviously isn't and would love to have you out of the picture. That's pretty apparent.
But your wife isn't respecting it either. And I think you're right, that some of it is about making you jealous for some reason. Maybe she thinks your jealousy proves your love or something.
I have a really good guy friend at work. I consider him a good friend. But the relationship stays at work, and we respect each other's boundaries, and our mates' boundaries.
My husband knows about this friend...but like I said, it's a friendship that stays at work, because I NEVER EVER want my husband to feel insecure or try to make him jealous. If my husband told me that such a relationship bothered him, I'd be all about trying to establish some boundaries with this friend, and if he can't respect them...then unfriend the guy.
To me, it sounds like both of them aren't respecting the relationship. The friend obviously isn't and would love to have you out of the picture. That's pretty apparent.
But your wife isn't respecting it either. And I think you're right, that some of it is about making you jealous for some reason. Maybe she thinks your jealousy proves your love or something.
I have a really good guy friend at work. I consider him a good friend. But the relationship stays at work, and we respect each other's boundaries, and our mates' boundaries.
My husband knows about this friend...but like I said, it's a friendship that stays at work, because I NEVER EVER want my husband to feel insecure or try to make him jealous. If my husband told me that such a relationship bothered him, I'd be all about trying to establish some boundaries with this friend, and if he can't respect them...then unfriend the guy.
^^^ I second this. And pretty much everything else that was said before.
To me, it sounds like both of them aren't respecting the relationship. The friend obviously isn't and would love to have you out of the picture. That's pretty apparent.
But your wife isn't respecting it either. And I think you're right, that some of it is about making you jealous for some reason. Maybe she thinks your jealousy proves your love or something.
I have a really good guy friend at work. I consider him a good friend. But the relationship stays at work, and we respect each other's boundaries, and our mates' boundaries.
My husband knows about this friend...but like I said, it's a friendship that stays at work, because I NEVER EVER want my husband to feel insecure or try to make him jealous. If my husband told me that such a relationship bothered him, I'd be all about trying to establish some boundaries with this friend, and if he can't respect them...then unfriend the guy.
Yep.
As long as you aren't threatened by everyone on Earth - you have every right to request you, her HUSBAND, to come before this guy friend and request she end the friendship.
When I was young and dumb and faithful/trustworthy, I really didn't believe that my "friends" were really on the move to get close to me romantically (since I wasn't disingenuous like that). Of course now I know better and would honor my husband in this regard, he knows men and smells a rat here.
Thank you for your input. I will try to be as level headed as possible. I have almost completely backed off, just because it was causing too much turmoil. I just sit there hope deep down nothing happens, I truly feel my relationship is the best relationship in the world. This guy I am hoping is just a hiccup and now a full blow mountain in the middle.
Yep.
better and would honor my husband in this regard, he knows men and smells a rat here.
I do too, but I dont want to have this issue later so I am hoping my wife solves it. I am not going to spend the rest of my life with her feeling the way I do whenever she gets close to somebody that is the opposite sex. I kind of want to see how it pans out. I am 32 and would rather the issues appear now instead of 10 years down the line...
The experts over at marriage builders would say if you want a strong marriage, this friendship has to end. It is an existential threat to the mental time and emotions you save for each other. It doesn't matter what she says, does or feels, there is a third person in your marriage sapping its energy.
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