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And a lot of times in these hypothetical situations a guy is imagining a beautiful or hot woman not ever getting turned down. But there are plenty of women who aren't traffic-stopping beauties. If you imagine a woman who looks like Lena Dunham or Megan Trainor, to give an example of more "average" women doing the approaching, they're not going to get 90% positive feedback.
Even on this board some of the guys who complain about having a hard time eventually reveal that they are approached by women, but they just don't like the women who try to talk to them.
Well not everyone is going to be your type. Women aren't into every man who comes up to them and vice versa.
Well not everyone is going to be your type. Women aren't into every man who comes up to them and vice versa.
Which is exactly why it shouldn't be any bigger tragedy to a guy when he approaches a woman and gets shot down than it is for a woman to approach a guy and experience the same.
I think the answer is kinda obvious. Rejection, embarrassment, etc. It is totally understandable, and I think women should keep that in mind when the respond.
I don't envy men this part of the traditional role.
If you find that men will not extend themselves, and it is important to you, then you will need to take up the role.
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I think the answer is kinda obvious. Rejection, embarrassment, etc. It is totally understandable, and I think women should keep that in mind when the respond.
I don't envy men this part of the traditional role.
If you find that men will not extend themselves, and it is important to you, then you will need to take up the role.
Agreed.
At least for people like that (and probably a bit of myself), there's online dating nowadays. Back then, there wasn't really any other choice.
I also think more and more women nowadays are approaching, and it'll increase as the years progress.
The thread is a double standard in itself. Making it sound like its the man's job to approach all the time. Why is that ok?
I have no problem approaching women. I do it all the time. But if I decide not to, and a woman complains about it.. I would ask her why she doesn't just approach me.
Well then this thread isn't about you, it's requesting information from men who are scared. Women are replying with what scares them as well. If your only experience is women complaining about men not approaching, you are surrounded with women who don't make a lot of sense.
If a woman complained to you personally about you not approaching, as your reply seems to suggest, then doesn't that mean she must've approached you? You didn't approach, how did you find out what her thoughts were, she left a message in a bottle?
Women are often not fun to approach. For every girl that reacts in a positive way about 10 will be rude, cold, stand of ish or annoyed.
It can make you feel like a panhandler. You basically get treated the same way.
Ehhh it goes beyond that for me (especially since I don't cold approach anymore). I find women, on the whole, to not be very pleasant to be around. There are a few exceptions, but, for most, I can only tolerate them in small doses.
At this point, I just want a woman that would make a good mother and doesn't talk too much. This is surprisingly difficult to find.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
This describes me. I don't care about being rejected because I'm not every woman's cup of tea. But I have never really cared for dating much which is why I never did it much in my life.
I did it A LOT when I was younger. I was the party guy in college, had a few relationships, but lost interest in dating in my late 20s.
To tell you the truth, I happily resigned to a lifetime of singlehood until I got into genealogy and decided that I do, in fact, want children.
If there was a cheap (and logical) way to have children without a wife, I'd just do that.
Women are often not fun to approach. For every girl that reacts in a positive way about 10 will be rude, cold, stand of ish or annoyed.
It can make you feel like a panhandler. You basically get treated the same way.
Really not interested in doing that, or speaking to someone who'd rather I left her alone. The guys who do this are basically treating it like a sales job.
I only speak to people who are happy to speak to me.
At least for people like that (and probably a bit of myself), there's online dating nowadays. Back then, there wasn't really any other choice.
I also think more and more women nowadays are approaching, and it'll increase as the years progress.
True, but this has become an extension of the nightclub. Guys are messaging a lot of women to get a response or two and having to do a lot of chasing to get anywhere in a lot of cases.
At least for guys who are shy it's easier to cold approach a stranger on the internet, than walk over to one in a bar or socially and hope there's mutual interest and connection (which altogether is low odds) and a very daunting thing for a lot of us to do.
men approaching women will probably remain the norm until even the Sun sucks the Earth in, eventually, many millions of years from now, it's unfair yes it is, why can't women come after men right like we do to them? it sucks but we have to live with it
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