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Old 09-02-2011, 10:38 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,548,183 times
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Nothing new here, it's just the whole who-pays-for-the-1st-date ordeal. I'm going on my 1st date (in 2 years) tonight with a guy I have been talking with for 2 weeks. I like him a lot and I believe the feeling is mutual, but all that will be confirmed tonight. So my question is, how do I approach the bill situation without sending the wrong signals? I don't want to come off as a freeloader so I would have liked to pay or meet halfway. But I understand some guys would interpret that as perhaps I'm no longer interested. Should I just let him pay? Would this be a big deal for the 40+ crowd?

Yes I sound naive, I know, but I haven't done these things in a long time.

So I'll sit tight waiting to hear from you, and in the meantime, I will worry about what to wear tonight.
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,620 posts, read 28,292,958 times
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Who asked whom out?
That person pays. If I ask a guy out, I pay.

Why not do something that involves 2 things, like coffee and movie and pay for one.

Strangely, I always enjoyed mini-golf for a first date because it was minimally active, outdoors and non-threatening. Then ice cream or coffee. You could split something like that.
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,728,231 times
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The man always pays. Unless it's someone he has known in the long term.
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:45 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,548,183 times
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We're actually going to a crab house and he asked me out. I picked out the date, time, etc. So Chielgirl, in your opinion, he should pay, right?
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:47 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,548,183 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
The man always pays. Unless it's someone he has known in the long term.
Right. So I shouldn't even offer?
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
6,476 posts, read 7,325,718 times
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When the bill comes you can ask him "Can I help you with that?"
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,728,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLucky View Post
Right. So I shouldn't even offer?
Pretend to. But if he is a honourable stud, he'd politely request you to put it inside.

If not, you know he's not a good bet
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,620 posts, read 28,292,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cavaturaccioli View Post
When the bill comes you can ask him "Can I help you with that?"
This seems like a good response.
If you're having a good time, ask if you can take him for a drink, coffee, tea, ice cream or whatever afterwards if he says that he's got the meal.

That might make you feel more comfortable and prolong the date!
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Old 09-02-2011, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,474,130 times
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I think an offer to pay half would be appreciated by most men, but most will probably thank you and pay it all. Thanking him is always appropriate if he pays. You could then offer to treat him next time - if you want to see him again. And that might be a lead-in to suggest the next date, so have something in mind.
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:06 AM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,006,311 times
Reputation: 20090
Absolutely offer. He may or may not accept. There are guys here on CD who refuse to pay for a woman's dinner...for whatever reason.

I do, however, think he should pay.
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