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Think of people in this lifestyle as a subset of everyone you know, who's not in this lifestyle. B/C that's exactly what they are! Some are wealthy, some are flat broke, some are highly educated professionals, some are mechanics, housewives, soldiers, drs, plumbers, lawyers & grocery store workers, etc. I know all of the above. Every body type & age imaginable...
Is it wrong of me that I'm now picturing a plumber spanking a lawyer in a grocery store?
A Dominatrix is a pro (which as stated above is not a hooker & that would be quite offensive to a true Dominatrix), though there are plenty of hookers who advertise that way (we call those something along the lines of "witch with whip"). A true Domme or Dominatrix does not have sex with their clients.
Semantics. If she is receiving money, or 'gifts' of cash, a Dominatrix, or a professional Domme, could fairly be called a hooker, and any outrage on her part might seem just a little obtuse. Plenty of plain old hookers try very hard to avoid actual sex with their customers. The sex thing is a red herring. The intent of the transaction to be primarily financially beneficial to one of the transactors, and emotionally or physically beneficial to the other is the definition of prostitution, i.e. hooking.
Okay thanks for the insight everyone. I don't know if this particular fetish of mine has anything to do with me being on the spectrum.
And I don't know if it means I have self respect, or self esteem issues. It doesn't feel that way...
And yes I am looking for a relationship, it's just the women are Doms in the bedroom, keep turning out to be doms outside of the bedroom as well usually, in every other aspect.
...And yes I am looking for a relationship, it's just the women are Doms in the bedroom, keep turning out to be doms outside of the bedroom as well usually, in every other aspect.
But see, brother--if you want to be submissive, you don't make demands of your Domme, or try to direct Her or have expectations of Her.
It's inappropriate and disrespectful. Commonly known as "topping from the bottom."
If you want to be truly submissive with a true Domme, your needs and desires (outside the need and desire to please Her) are immaterial.
If you just want to have a Woman dominate you in the bedroom and nowhere else, I'd say that's role playing and not submission (and there's nothing wrong with that) and that you should seek out a professional Dominatrix, but know that many such Ladies will not engage in sex with you.
Hmmm...it's a pickle.
PS--in general, "Dom" = male and "Domme" = Female.
Okay, I may have overstated that. But it seems like you "want" or you "need" a Woman who is dominant here, but not there, that is there to give YOU satisfaction by behaving in a dominant way.
I'm just saying, that's not submission, it's more like role play, or--best case scenario--you meet someone great who is vanilla in life but pure Tigress in the bedroom.
I have no doubt such women exist. Most Women I know can be dominant in the bedroom, or sometimes like to be. If you find a good match for yourself, just let Her know "In here, You are the Boss."
Okay thanks for the insight everyone. I don't know if this particular fetish of mine has anything to do with me being on the spectrum.
And I don't know if it means I have self respect, or self esteem issues. It doesn't feel that way...
And yes I am looking for a relationship, it's just the women are Doms in the bedroom, keep turning out to be doms outside of the bedroom as well usually, in every other aspect.
So... you want a dominate woman in the bedroom, but not in regular life, outside the bedroom?
There are bedroom D/s and lifestyle D/s. Maybe seek out a dominate woman in the bedroom? Or, you might be looking for a Top, which is taking the position as the giver, calling the shots, which is often in the context of bedroom activities.
That's all just light years beyond where the OP is, socially, emotionally and developmentally.
Gotcha. Thank you for that. I didn't want to offend, but I felt that I was clearly answering the OP's question & then some other questions came of that, which is how discussions often go. I appreciate the clarification, as I felt it was very on topic. Since I don't know the OP, I'm not going to comment on whether it's the best place for him. It is however, the premier place to find someone who has the interests he's looking for, whether he's ready for that or not.
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