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Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,709 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrowningPoeFrost
LoL. Well, yeah they're both AA men with clean shaven heads, but to me they look about as similar as J-LO and Gloria Esteban.
Well, it's not that they look very similar, it's just that there's something about his facial expression and his eyes (in addition to his clean shaven head) that reminds me of Steve!
J-Lo is soooo pretty! But Gloria Esteban, not so much...
Okay. Back to our regularly scheduled program - err um, I mean thread lol
I wasn't going to comment again. I really wasn't. And I won't comment directly.
When I was maybe a sophomore in HS I read Melville's "Bartleby the Scrivener". The super cliff noted cliff note version:
A scrivener writes documents. One day Bartleby stops working and just stands staring at the wall. He never works again. When people ask him why, he just says "I prefer not to". Over and over, people expect something sensible in response to their questions, but old Bart just keeps repeating, "I prefer not to". Eventually I think the business he worked for moved because they couldn't stand him being there and they couldn't get him to leave. So they left him out of a sort of kindness, rather than truly insisting that he depart.
Pardon the ways this actually parallels your life OP. That's coincidence. My point is that this story frustrated the hell out of my 15 yr old self. What was this guy's deal? Why would he make this choice, to glibly opt out, but then not really opt out? I mean, no one would do that. Yeah, I know, it's a work of art. OK, so it was absurdist. A treatise on nihilism. Great. But WhyTF did the guy just stand there? My 15 yr old self couldn't grasp any of that, even if I appreciate the story now, and have for 30 years or so.
My 59 year old self can't grasp your story, OP. Maybe in 15 years or so I will, but right now it's just maddening. And here's the thing. Your story isn't some absurdist piece of literature, even if the notion that women are superior beings to be served is pretty absurd. We're talking about the small people who usually have long hair and boobs, right? Those women? Any way, your life isn't a treatise on nihilism either. It's your life and you're writing it. What is your authorial intent?
And btw, I think Bartleby ended up dying in prison. I'm sure Melville meant that metaphorically.
Your story isn't some absurdist piece of literature, even if the notion that women are superior beings to be served is pretty absurd...
I understand your feeling this way.
I should say, I'm not "abnormal" in my dealings with Women out in the world. It's not as if I fall to my knees and bow and scrape before every Female I cross paths with.
I have lived a healthy life, socially, sexually, etc. I'm not a freak. I can have perfectly normal relations with women, and have, with several, my whole life. No, my man-parts no longer work, but I am still good in other ways. I don't mean this to sound like I am bragging; I am not some big horndog with a hundred notches on my belt. Just trying to illustrate that I have led, and continue to lead, a pretty normal life. It's been pretty full of adventures though.
I know from experience that there are women out there who aren't what you'd call superlative human beings.
As I understand it, his wife is not aware. They've been married 24 years and just bought a house.
You are right--I was not clear in what I said. Now looking back, before I did clarify some things I'm thinking people must have been like "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!" I mean, it's an odd enough situation anyway, or would be for most couples. It is for me.
Not all Women are the same, jobster. They aren't one homogeneous entity with a hive mind; they are individuals. They are our mothers, sisters, daughters, and mates. To me, they just happen to be the Crown of Creation.
I know most women would find absolutely nothing appealing about a guy like me. I'm not much to look at, I have never brought down a great deal of money (although I am educated and have always been a hard worker), I think in my striving to please, I can get to be annoying. I am not a catch, and I know that.
I agree that perhaps most Women and most people looking at me from outside would just think I'm a loser, weakling, pushover, whatever. I couldn't care less. I refuse to succumb to fear or shame, especially over what comes naturally to me. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks.
I can only be myself. I will not pretend to be anything else. I do not "have" to be behaving like a submissive to be with a Woman. I have perfectly natural sexual drives.
But all I can do is be myself, and maybe at some point someone special will come along who sees in me someone they would like to spend time with.
The thing is, though, that even though YOU might be OK with the situation, you are enabling a situation (dare I call it an affair - yes, I dare) where the other spouse is unwittingly enmeshed in the possible destruction of her marriage. Because basically the OM (other man) posted an ad on Craigslist, to which your wife apparently responded, and he's now paying for your wife's apartment and has bought her a car. That's called using marital assets for an extramarital purpose. And I BET the other wife would really not like that if she knew about it.
So maybe try putting the other wife "on a pedestal" and let her know what's going on, so she can make informed decisions for her own security and future - otherwise you are keeping vital information from her that is rightfully hers. What you decide to do wrt to your own wife is your decision, but you really don't have the right to help decide for HIS wife as well.
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