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Old 05-30-2017, 08:43 AM
 
1 posts, read 3,173 times
Reputation: 10

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I know that this thread has probably been done before, but I could use some advice. My girlfriend and I have only been together for a matter of months. We have a great connection, and want a lot of the same things, including a family. She owns a townhouse in the northeast, where we both live, and has no desire to leave. I have thought of moving down south long before I met her, as I hate the cold weather. Initially, she seemed open to the idea of eventually moving, but now she seems more set on wanting to start a family here. She grew up now a warm climate and moved here 8 years ago, whereas I've been here my whole life. Also, she is 30 and I am 33. I mentioned that I'd be willing to move somewhere halfway down the coast, but she seems to not want to move, period. We both are flexible with out careers and other things, but this location thing is a point of contention. All advice is welcome and appreciated. Thanks!
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Old 05-30-2017, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,421,064 times
Reputation: 50386
Sorry - you have different goals. Owning a townhouse was the first clue - she has more "roots" than you to begin with and seems to want to start a family there. It's best to end things now if there is no compromise to be had.
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Old 05-30-2017, 08:45 AM
 
888 posts, read 556,847 times
Reputation: 1984
You have only been together a couple of months. That is nothing! I repeat, that is nothing. There is no way either of you should be thinking about moving anywhere for the other or moving in together, or any of it. If you really want to move, just do it. Don't hold back your life for someone you barely know. I know that sounds mean, but you have zero idea if this relationship will even last, it takes years to actually know someone well enough to know if you are truly compatible.
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Old 05-30-2017, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 60,060,622 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015 View Post
You have only been together a couple of months. That is nothing! I repeat, that is nothing. There is no way either of you should be thinking about moving anywhere for the other or moving in together, or any of it. If you really want to move, just do it. Don't hold back your life for someone you barely know. I know that sounds mean, but you have zero idea if this relationship will even last, it takes years to actually know someone well enough to know if you are truly compatible.
Seconded.
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Old 05-30-2017, 08:59 AM
 
10,505 posts, read 7,071,028 times
Reputation: 32348
Girlfriends are like buses. There will be another one.
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:01 AM
Status: "I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out." (set 22 days ago)
 
35,693 posts, read 18,057,688 times
Reputation: 50758
I would be VERY WARY of your desire to move down south where you have never lived in your life. It's easy to think in the abstract that you might want to live somewhere else, but you might get there and want to flee. I wonder why - since you hate the cold weather you are now 33 years old and you haven't made the move, but are kind of pushing it now that you're in a semi-committed and promising relationship with a woman who doesn't want to leave.

I think that's worth exploring. If you really wanted to move south it seems you would have done it - why suddenly is it becoming a "thing"?
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:05 AM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,551,953 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Felix12 View Post
I know that this thread has probably been done before, but I could use some advice. My girlfriend and I have only been together for a matter of months. We have a great connection, and want a lot of the same things, including a family. She owns a townhouse in the northeast, where we both live, and has no desire to leave. I have thought of moving down south long before I met her, as I hate the cold weather. Initially, she seemed open to the idea of eventually moving, but now she seems more set on wanting to start a family here. She grew up now a warm climate and moved here 8 years ago, whereas I've been here my whole life. Also, she is 30 and I am 33. I mentioned that I'd be willing to move somewhere halfway down the coast, but she seems to not want to move, period. We both are flexible with out careers and other things, but this location thing is a point of contention. All advice is welcome and appreciated. Thanks!
You've only been together a few months mate it's a bit strong to expect or want her to sell up and move.

Unfortunately if it becomes too much for you then that's a compatibility issue and move on sorry
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:08 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,328,467 times
Reputation: 62669
Move if that is your desire. Stay a year or two and see if you like it. If you do find a girlfriend there.
If you do not like it move back and see if this girlfriend is still available and wants to have a relationship with you.
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:06 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,401 posts, read 24,489,625 times
Reputation: 17514
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I would be VERY WARY of your desire to move down south where you have never lived in your life. It's easy to think in the abstract that you might want to live somewhere else, but you might get there and want to flee. I wonder why - since you hate the cold weather you are now 33 years old and you haven't made the move, but are kind of pushing it now that you're in a semi-committed and promising relationship with a woman who doesn't want to leave.

I think that's worth exploring. If you really wanted to move south it seems you would have done it - why suddenly is it becoming a "thing"?
The "south" is a dangerous place, LOL. Yes, but honestly you need to do your homework and find a specific city to try, if you haven't already.

The girlfriend thing is a non-issue as it appears neither of you are willing to compromise. She does not want to leave where she lives now. You want to be anyplace warmer than it is where you currently are. You two don't have a future right now.
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,662,985 times
Reputation: 53074
Incompatible goals, from the sound of it, but, really, at two months of dating, this is a bit much to have on the table, anyway.
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