Is Divorce Too easy? (dating, marriages, guy, younger)
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Not everything can be fixed. And part of wisdom is knowing when to cut losses and move on.
I've known few people that have gotten divorced, but absolutely non did it flippantly. They worked and worked, and tried and tried.
As I said, there are exceptions. Not everyone has the wisdom to realize what is fixable and what is not. Some people jump from the frying pan into the fire.
My point is, they tried and tried but always knowing that they had the option to bail. If that option was not there maybe they would have tried a little harder?
Here's my two scenario analogy: 1) Swimmer wants to swim the English Channel. They have a life boat following them across in case they get tired, cramp up, or just want to quit. 2) Swimmer just jumps in and swims. No life boat, no help, no one knows they are out there. They have two choices, swim or die. Who makes it to the other side?
Why should any person have to justify their desire to be divorced? If they can't do that, then they should be forced to stay married? How does that benefit anyone? Strange way of thinking, in my view.
The why get married at all? Just live together and then bail when it no longer suits your desires.
As I said, there are exceptions. Not everyone has the wisdom to realize what is fixable and what is not. Some people jump from the frying pan into the fire.
My point is, they tried and tried but always knowing that they had the option to bail. If that option was not there maybe they would have tried a little harder?
Here's my two scenario analogy: 1) Swimmer wants to swim the English Channel. They have a life boat following them across in case they get tired, cramp up, or just want to quit. 2) Swimmer just jumps in and swims. No life boat, no help, no one knows they are out there. They have two choices, swim or die. Who makes it to the other side?
Again, so what? It's personal business, isn't it? Why should personal liberties be restricted?
Would you want to be legally married to someone who didn't want to be married to you? Would that solve any marital problems?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hackopotamus
As I said, there are exceptions. Not everyone has the wisdom to realize what is fixable and what is not. Some people jump from the frying pan into the fire.
My point is, they tried and tried but always knowing that they had the option to bail. If that option was not there maybe they would have tried a little harder?
Here's my two scenario analogy: 1) Swimmer wants to swim the English Channel. They have a life boat following them across in case they get tired, cramp up, or just want to quit. 2) Swimmer just jumps in and swims. No life boat, no help, no one knows they are out there. They have two choices, swim or die. Who makes it to the other side?
Maybe pigs would fly too.
But more likely, they would be stuck and be miserable, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
And in your scenario, its like #1 would make it to the other side, since that person is probably someone that takes it seriously, if following safety precautions, and has trained for the event. Someone stupid enough like #2 that would do it without planning and training would likely not be fit enough or have planned and trained enough to do it.
But more likely, they would be stuck and be miserable, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
And in your scenario, its like #1 would make it to the other side, since that person is probably someone that takes it seriously, if following safety precautions, and has trained for the event. Someone stupid enough like #2 that would do it without planning and training would likely not be fit enough or have planned and trained enough to do it.
Both planned and trained equally. One was more committed than the other.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hackopotamus
Both planned and trained equally. One was more committed than the other.
Nope, someone that would go without a safety boat has not planned properly.
I safety kayak for distance swimmer every summer, there is nothing else to call it but bad planning. That's not a sign of commitment. It's a sign of being reckless.
Again, so what? It's personal business, isn't it? Why should personal liberties be restricted?
Would you want to be legally married to someone who didn't want to be married to you? Would that solve any marital problems?
You're right. It's no one's business but the parties involved. In fact all these topics should never be discussed in a forum.
Most folks on here seem to be missing my point. It's about commitment. You took a vow. You made a promise. You said you were going to do something. You made a promise to stay together until death do you part. Now you want to go back on your word because you are not happy (again, see my exceptions).
My point is, don't get married if you aren't willing to stick it out through the tough times. If you can bail any time you want then what does marriage mean? Just live together and become domestic partners or something.
My mother would agree with you based on her last divorce. I think if anything getting married is too easy.
I totally agree with you here. It's not that divorce is too easy, it's marriage that's too easy. I think in order to get a marriage license a couple must go though classes and pass a test just like any other license. The class would be something like relationship dynamics, budgeting and finance, family planning, and analysis of lifelong goals. That's the real issue with the type of divorce the OP is talking about.
The way to cut those kinds of divorces is to prevent ill fitting marriages in the first place. Kind of like the best way the best cure to any disease is prevention... you know what they say an ounce of that stuff can do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
And in your scenario, its like #1 would make it to the other side, since that person is probably someone that takes it seriously, if following safety precautions, and has trained for the event. Someone stupid enough like #2 that would do it without planning and training would likely not be fit enough or have planned and trained enough to do it.
And I would have to agree here too. I do a lot of water sports and rule #1 is plan and stuck to the plan. Just jumping in with no support network or no buddy is just plain stupid. The second person is more likely to drown and die (or more likely lie about swimming the channel since there are no witnesses).
I get what they poster is trying to say with the analogy, but it's not the best analogy.
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