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I guess this is for men, but also men over 30...do you feel like it is difficult to connect with girls aged 21-25? Sexually I think most men would be most attracted to this age group, but does the mindset/life stage differences are too big?
I feel like women in their 30s know what they want from life and relationship, that's a plus. But overall the physical aspect, plus 'low mileage' (if you care at all about history, some don't, same may apply for men, to avoid being called sexist lol), overall tends to tip the scale towards younger girls (if you are 30 something year old male).
I think it's so highly dependent on the two individuals involved that it's impossible to make a generalization (but I'll try).
I'm 31 and my girlfriend is 24. So we fall within that that range (though not as extreme as others). We've connected better than I've connected with anyone I've dated (and I've never really dated more than +/- 2 years of my own age). Part of that is stages of life- we're both solidly in the young (ok, ok, youngISH in my case) professional world so we can relate about work. We have very similar senses of humor, lots of similar interests (travel, food, things to do for fun, etc.) and similar long-term goals. We have more in common than anyone I've ever dated and from day one, the conversation has flowed very well.
There are some moments- mostly talking about younger years when our 7 year gap was a much bigger deal -when the difference is apparent. College is fresher for her (dating apps were a thing when she was in school, not so much for me), and some pop culture stuff is a little different (though she's not a huge pop culture person so it's no biggie). Occasionally I'll reference a movie or song she doesn't know. But these things are trivial for the most part. I get along better with her older friends than I do her younger friends (not a shocker), and meeting her parents was extra scary because I'm older (but it went fine).
I think people make some big leaps and assumptions when it comes to the sexual stuff (i.e. younger people are sexually immature and selfish, older women know what they want, etc.). For us, it's great. It was from the start too. The differences between her and past partners are the typical differences that people develop in a relationship with a new person. Nothing I would pin on age. "fewer miles" isn't something I've ever felt was important. As long as there are no health risks, I don't really care who/how many people my partner has been with. I feel like there's major insecurity issues for people who have a big problem with someone who has a sexual past. Plus, many women in their 20s have had more partners than women in their 30s. My ex (32) had slept with 3 people when we started dating (when she was 30). Many 18 year olds could top that. It doesn't matter.
She's told me that I've got it together better than guys her age that she's dated. That's not a surprise as women are generally more mature. At 24, I certainly didn't have it together better than anyone. She's as accomplished professionally (maybe more) than a lot of women I've dated closer to my age. So I don't see anything starkly different there.
To reiterate my first point, this situation is so highly individualized. My only advice for "connecting" with younger women is to just be yourself. If you try hard to "connect" with younger women, you'll most likely come off looking disingenuous (at best), or even downright creepy (at worst). Some women in their early/mid-20s just aren't going to be into 30-something year old guys. That's reality. They're certainly not going to be into 30-somethings that are going out of their way to hint that they're in touch with people in their 20s. My girlfriend had never dated anyone more than a year older than her. I wasn't within her "max acceptable range" on dating sites, and she'd never considered dating an older guy (she had issues with them "creeping" on her). So when we met, I joked with her the way i would joke with someone my age (even if it meant she might not get some of my references), I didn't pretend to be fresh out of college, and I talked to her like an equal (not like I'm talking to someone younger and naive). She appreciated that and now we're dating and doing well. Women in that 21-25 range are all over the map in terms of what they're looking for and their own life experiences. trying to make a generalization about all of them would be a waste of time. But for guys in their 30s, just be yourself. Some younger women might like it, many will not. Don't sweat it.
I dont think you've ever dated numerous younger women, OP, so you wouldn't know the immature drama that comes with a lot of them.
Sure, their Blue book value might be slightly higher in the dating market, but there's a lot more maintenance involved >something I dont think you can handle.
In my experience, it's actually the opposite. Since my divorce was finalized a couple years ago, I've gotten all the drama, petty b.s., spoiled princess crap, etc. from dating women my age. I don't know what it is...desperation, or devoting so much of their prime years to raising children that they never figured themselves out, or just being too set in their ways for a relationship. So after some miserable experiences dating women in their 40s, I met a woman in her mid 20s and it's been the easiest, most rewarding and intellectually stimulating relationship of my life. YMMV.
In my experience, it's actually the opposite. Since my divorce was finalized a couple years ago, I've gotten all the drama, petty b.s., spoiled princess crap, etc. from dating women my age. I don't know what it is...desperation, or devoting so much of their prime years to raising children that they never figured themselves out, or just being too set in their ways for a relationship. So after some miserable experiences dating women in their 40s, I met a woman in her mid 20s and it's been the easiest, most rewarding and intellectually stimulating relationship of my life. YMMV.
I know you're talking about your experience (mine is similar btw), but I don't know that it's "actually the opposite" as much as it's making sweeping generalizations about any age range that seems to be the problem. As you said, YMMV. It depends on the individual and trying to generalize everyone from a particular age group is pointless. There are 20-somethings that are more mature than 30-somethings and vice versa. You'll never know where an individual falls in those categories (regardless of age) until you get to know them. There's zero sense in assuming someone is going to be mature or immature because of their age. Be smart, read the signs and look for red flags. That's the best you can do.
No. I couldn't date younger. I've had 20- and 30-somethings hit on me; I was flattered but just not interested. Many of the younger want marriage, kids, etc. I've been married, not Looking to go down that road again. And I'm too old to be a dad again!
In my experience, it's actually the opposite. Since my divorce was finalized a couple years ago, I've gotten all the drama, petty b.s., spoiled princess crap, etc. from dating women my age. I don't know what it is...desperation, or devoting so much of their prime years to raising children that they never figured themselves out, or just being too set in their ways for a relationship. So after some miserable experiences dating women in their 40s, I met a woman in her mid 20s and it's been the easiest, most rewarding and intellectually stimulating relationship of my life. YMMV.
My experience as well. Dating women in their 30s they judge you pretty harshly on what you have to offer them right now. The ones in their mid-20s and younger are still looking for love and fun. I exclusively date women in their early 20s for this reason. Dating women "my age"... why?
No. I couldn't date younger. I've had 20- and 30-somethings hit on me; I was flattered but just not interested. Many of the younger want marriage, kids, etc. I've been married, not Looking to go down that road again. And I'm too old to be a dad again!
I actually had the same issue dating men in their 30s and even early 40s! But it was mainly the ones who had never been married or had kids. It's basically what's called "baby rabies" by some. I had so many guys talking family and kids on the first dates that I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something. It's like it hit them that by the time they meet a woman, figure out if she's wife material, marry and have kids, that they won't be dads until their 40s and the do the math and figure out they will be in their 60s when they will be trying to retire the same time the kids are at college! That's kind of why I aimed for divorced men with kids in their 40s. I figured they were more likely to be done with having kids. It's how I met my boyfriend.
I have this theory that women in their late 20s are a good match for guys in their mid-30s. That seems to be about the average time most get that urge to marry and have kids. Of course, not everyone falls into those groups, but it does seem to be a thing based on shared dating experiences.
My experience as well. Dating women in their 30s they judge you pretty harshly on what you have to offer them right now. The ones in their mid-20s and younger are still looking for love and fun. I exclusively date women in their early 20s for this reason. Dating women "my age"... why?
Granted, it ultimately depends on the person, but I think you're right for the most part.
i'm speaking in generalities, and my opinion of course.
the main difficulty in connecting is possibly that they grew up with the internet and social media their whole lives along with different media influences and different point in their lives (college).
women in their 30s tend to be more jaded and possibly desperate for children (baby rabies). I've mentioned it in another thread, but "career women" tend to be the worst.
maturity level is similar. I think women mature more quickly than men in their teens, then tapers off through the 20s and early 30s.
re mileage: all else equal, it's a rational assumption that a person in their 30s have more sexual experience than the same person in the 20s... of course, there are 30 year old virgins and promiscuous people in their 20s. so shouldn't assume that a 20 year older has less mileage than a 30.
it does depend on the individuals more than a 10 year age gap IMO though. You can't assume 2 30 year old people will get along better than a 30 and a 20 year old people just by age. Especially since there's a fair amount of relationships with men dating younger.
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