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I started dating this guys back in April. He pursued me for quite a while, and I wasn't really interested. He wasn't necessarily my "type" but after my mom had a talk with me, telling me to give him a chance, I saw that he was a good guy and really liked him.
The first week we were "official", he was great. He would do things like stop at the store on the way home and bring me my favorite drink. He just always seemed to put my first and wanted to make me happy.
We are but maybe 2-3 months into this relationship, and things are already going down hill. I feel like he is always putting me down or criticizing me, making me feel like nothing I do is right. Some examples are that he wants me to stay with him at his place. I don't mind, but I have to abide by his rules and do what he likes. I accidentally left a wet towel on his bed (in a hurry to leave so I wouldn't make him mad by making us late) and he wanted me to apologize like I did it on purpose. I could understand if it was something I repeatedly did, but it was the first time. So why couldn't he just hang it up and not say anything unless I did it again? I also work from home and since I stay at his place, I obviously have to have my work documents, etc. Otherwise, I'd have to drive the 30 minutes to my house every time I need something, and in my line of work, I don't always have a 30 minutes grace period. But then he comes home and "jokes" about why is my stuff everywhere. So out of respect for his house, I put my stuff in the spare bedroom upstairs. Then he questions why I moved all my stuff to the spare bedroom. Um because you complained about my stuff being everywhere??
I made him some banana bread once and he "joked" about the healthy ingredients I used to make it, then asked me why I never make him brownies. He likes my hair straight and if I curl it (which I prefer), he makes comments asking why I'm curling it. He also said he hates when I pull half my hair back. He's told me I don't load the dishwasher the correct way and got irritated when I hung up a couple of my dresses in his closet.
In my line of work, I'm constantly on my phone, answering texts or emails. He always has something to say about how I'm always on my phone. There was a chip in one of his plates and he pointed it out telling me that I did it, that he has looked at every plate and bowl and there wasn't cracks before.
Not to mention, I feel like I'm always doing things trying to make him happy but its never enough. I cook him dinner. I clean the house. I watch his dog, taking him to and from daycare. I bought him a grill cover for the new grill his bought. I'm always making sure I clean up after myself and respect his house. But I never feel appreciated. I hardly ever get thank yous. And any time we get into an argument, he's always the one who says that I don't appreciate him. That he's hard at work affording the house "WE" live in. Like wtf?! I work too. And it isn't exactly easy trying to work while watching his dog. My boss or a client will call me and I have to go outside because the dog barks all the time. But when I tell him the dog barks too much, he's like oh, no he doesn't.
Anyways, I finally got tired of it and we had a blow up fight last night. I told him I was tired of him telling me I'm a baby or too sensitive and "Uh, are you about to start your period again?!". He tells me I love drama and I'm a drama queen and has "jokingly" said I'm an attention *****. But its ok because it was a joke right? Everything is a joke and always at my expense. I finally told him this morning that I thought it was best if I took my stuff to my house and started to stay there more often. And now, its my fault because I'm giving up and the problem isn't because I'm always staying at his place and he doesn't see how that makes anything better.
He makes me feel like I'm being dramatic, but I feel like I'm justified in feeling the way I feel.
He sounds like a textbook narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. You must cut ties with him very carefully. If you have anything of importance at his place, pack it up as unnoticeable as possible and get out. If it's negligible, just abandon it. He has serious problems and you can't fix them. The curling hair episode, blaming and shaming, the denigrating, the gaslighting, I've been through all of that. Just be glad you're only three months in, you may not necessarily have to get a restraining order once you break free from this guy.
The first year of dating should be your honeymoon period, so your feeling for each other should grow stronger everyday, not worse. You have all the good reasons to feel he's not a good man for relationship. Just leave, and don't come back. You won't be happy with him.
I started dating this guys back in April. He pursued me for quite a while, and I wasn't really interested. He wasn't necessarily my "type" but after my mom had a talk with me, telling me to give him a chance, I saw that he was a good guy and really liked him.
The first week we were "official", he was great. He would do things like stop at the store on the way home and bring me my favorite drink. He just always seemed to put my first and wanted to make me happy.
We are but maybe 2-3 months into this relationship, and things are already going down hill. I feel like he is always putting me down or criticizing me, making me feel like nothing I do is right. Some examples are that he wants me to stay with him at his place. I don't mind, but I have to abide by his rules and do what he likes. I accidentally left a wet towel on his bed (in a hurry to leave so I wouldn't make him mad by making us late) and he wanted me to apologize like I did it on purpose. I could understand if it was something I repeatedly did, but it was the first time. So why couldn't he just hang it up and not say anything unless I did it again? I also work from home and since I stay at his place, I obviously have to have my work documents, etc. Otherwise, I'd have to drive the 30 minutes to my house every time I need something, and in my line of work, I don't always have a 30 minutes grace period. But then he comes home and "jokes" about why is my stuff everywhere. So out of respect for his house, I put my stuff in the spare bedroom upstairs. Then he questions why I moved all my stuff to the spare bedroom. Um because you complained about my stuff being everywhere??
I made him some banana bread once and he "joked" about the healthy ingredients I used to make it, then asked me why I never make him brownies. He likes my hair straight and if I curl it (which I prefer), he makes comments asking why I'm curling it. He also said he hates when I pull half my hair back. He's told me I don't load the dishwasher the correct way and got irritated when I hung up a couple of my dresses in his closet.
In my line of work, I'm constantly on my phone, answering texts or emails. He always has something to say about how I'm always on my phone. There was a chip in one of his plates and he pointed it out telling me that I did it, that he has looked at every plate and bowl and there wasn't cracks before.
Not to mention, I feel like I'm always doing things trying to make him happy but its never enough. I cook him dinner. I clean the house. I watch his dog, taking him to and from daycare. I bought him a grill cover for the new grill his bought. I'm always making sure I clean up after myself and respect his house. But I never feel appreciated. I hardly ever get thank yous. And any time we get into an argument, he's always the one who says that I don't appreciate him. That he's hard at work affording the house "WE" live in. Like wtf?! I work too. And it isn't exactly easy trying to work while watching his dog. My boss or a client will call me and I have to go outside because the dog barks all the time. But when I tell him the dog barks too much, he's like oh, no he doesn't.
Anyways, I finally got tired of it and we had a blow up fight last night. I told him I was tired of him telling me I'm a baby or too sensitive and "Uh, are you about to start your period again?!". He tells me I love drama and I'm a drama queen and has "jokingly" said I'm an attention *****. But its ok because it was a joke right? Everything is a joke and always at my expense. I finally told him this morning that I thought it was best if I took my stuff to my house and started to stay there more often. And now, its my fault because I'm giving up and the problem isn't because I'm always staying at his place and he doesn't see how that makes anything better.
He makes me feel like I'm being dramatic, but I feel like I'm justified in feeling the way I feel.
Oh Lort...all of this and you're only 2-3 months in?? Girl, run, and run FAST. You felt from the beginning that you weren't really interested in him. Trust YOUR gut instincts, not your mom's.
You've run down a long bill of particulars on the guy.
But my question is, what's wrong with you? You are posting, when anyone with half a brain cell would have been packing long ago. Think about that for awhile when you're back home.
Based on the information you've posted (because I know some usual suspect is gonna log on to chime in about "but we don't know HIS SIDE OF THE STORY!!!!!"), this is a bad scene. If you're this uncomfortable with things only a couple of months in, that isn't the best indicator of longevity.
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