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Do you feel you're missing one key trait to being a successful dater? I know a guy in his late 40s (he looks older), he is uncomfortably flirty with women who are 18-20. I like to play bar trivia, and he's a guy who is often on my team. I didn't know him before I started this hobby. But he will grab their hand while he's placing his order or other things I know they don't like. In his head, he thinks they dig him, and trust me, they don't. But, I would never do these things. I'm more self aware, and I respect other's personal boundaries. I'm definitely more physically attractive, but he has way more confidence than me. If I had his confidence, I could date more. If he looked more like me, he could. I guess its imperative to have all the ingredients. Do you have them all?
Those traits will depend on who you're trying to attract/date.
Loud personalities, putting on a front, smooth-talking, etc., didn't do it for me. I've always gravitated toward quiet, bookish, introverted, nerdy/geeky types, if we're talking just personality and demeanor.
I went for the introverted and bookish types over the charismatic types. So someone lacking an outgoing and charismatic personality is not missing a key trait. They just need to focus on people who prefer or like their personality.
You are overthinking it. I'm way more outgoing than my husband and I asked him out. He was so shy and I was wondering if we had any chemistry, but he kept letting me know he was interested in only me and didn't play games. It turned out that he was quite a catch, and I like figuring out the quiet ones!
Good example, OP: What good is your looks (or anything else) in dating if you dont have confidence?
Its like having Lamborghini without a engine. Useless. Lol
Very good point. His friend may be able to seal the deal bc he at least wants to, and has an end goal in mind. Bryant seems to be treading at the "here's a girl, what do I do" location.
You are overthinking it. I'm way more outgoing than my husband and I asked him out. He was so shy and I was wondering if we had any chemistry, but he kept letting me know he was interested in only me and didn't play games. It turned out that he was quite a catch, and I like figuring out the quiet ones!
Exhibit A! Women do make the first move on the shy guys. We'll need you on the shy guy threads, Jilly.
Very good point. His friend may be able to seal the deal bc he at least wants to, and has an end goal in mind. Bryant seems to be treading at the "here's a girl, what do I do" location.
Not true. This guy isn't a friend. He isn't aware of his creepiness. These women are half his age. They are paid to be nice. He believes they're attracted to him. He isn't getting anywhere with them.
Not true. This guy isn't a friend. He isn't aware of his creepiness. These women are half his age. They are paid to be nice. He believes they're attracted to him. He isn't getting anywhere with them.
Are you getting anywhere? Does he think you're creepy?
Are you getting anywhere? Does he think you're creepy?
They think he's creepy! Wouldn't you be creeped out if you were a waitress and a guy old enough to be your father grabbed your hand while you ordered your meal?
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