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Here's my long story short:
I'm 24 years old and I've been with my boyfriend (Joe) for almost 2 years (a year and 11 months to be precise). I love him. He's wonderful, treats me well and is very supportive. We are compatible so I think we could even marry in the future. I'm excited because we're planning to move in together in a few months.
Few months ago I took an additional training course related to my job. My colleagues and I were divided into teams led by a mentor. One day my team and I decided to have some fun after work and we played board games with our mentor (Bill). By coincidence during the game I happened to be Bill's co-player. We all played and chatted, and had a good time. We became closer to each other. I chatted with Bill a few times after that. The next weeks I found myself thinking obsessively about Bill in particular. Needless to say, I felt terrible about it. There was a time when Joe and I went for a walk downtown and we accidentally (or not) bumped into Bill. I felt strange. My heart raced when I saw him. After that I told Joe that Bill is our mentor at work but I didn't mention anything about the way I was feeling. I didn't want to hurt him so I decided not to indulge in this attraction anymore and to let it go. (It turned out to be a pretty hard thing to do.)
Last week at work we had our final meeting. I saw Bill but this time I felt nothing. I still think he is an interesting person but I don't feel such intense attraction as before. (I am proud of myself!) It seemed to me that he was flirting. I observed his body language. He sat next to me (there were other free seats), he praised me, he repeated my name way too many times, he laughed at my jokes, he said that he is single, he deliberately gave some hints that he is checking my social media profile/photos (he found some mutual likes and initiated a conversation about them). He made it clear that he would be happy if someone invites him for a drink outside of work.I want him to be my friend but I wonder whether all these are just friendly gestures or does he want something more that I'm not willing to give him.
Personally, I think I'm just overreacting because I don't have much experience with male friends other than my boyfriend. In fact, I don't have close male friends except Joe. In contrast, I have many close and not so close female friends. My (female) friends, Joe and I are going to a local club tonight. Do you think it is a good idea to invite Bill to come with us?
I think we all see hot guys or girls out there and all wonder what it would be like. It really depends on what you have and what you want for yourself - and the risk it involves too. If you have what you want, if you are satisfied with what you have, then the risk is not worth it. If the risk is worth it, then you have to ask yourself whether you have what you want.
You aren't required to be friends, especially with someone you had a crush on. You need to be like a gatekeeper for your relationship and protect against this kind of dangerous flirting by avoiding contact with him.
If you don't want to fall off the cliff, don't walk close to the edge.
You say you had a crush but now feel 'nothing'. Great, but as far as going out of your way to invite him?
If you can run hot and old like that, why play with fire?
If it was really no problem for you at all, I have to wonder why you'd be be asking about it.
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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There's something wrong and something you're not admitting to yourself about your current relationship if you are "crushing" on someone else. Take a step back and examine the issue.
Wow am I the only one to think Bill is being creepy?
He's got a position of authority at work and is using it to try to hook up with a girl he knows is in a relationship?
I think you have done the right thing. The decision you make is either A) maintain your relationship or B) allow Bill into your life only to have him ruin your relationship.
To be honest I find how you describe him repugnant. The way he behaved at work, making all the suggestions. If he had balls he would have asked you out, to your face. None of this insinuating, passive type of behaviour. Nauseating to picture a man behaving in this manner
Here's my long story short: I'm 24 years old and I've been with my boyfriend (Joe) for almost 2 years (a year and 11 months to be precise). I love him. He's wonderful, treats me well and is very supportive. We are compatible so I think we could even marry in the future. I'm excited because we're planning to move in together in a few months.
Few months ago I took an additional training course related to my job. My colleagues and I were divided into teams led by a mentor. One day my team and I decided to have some fun after work and we played board games with our mentor (Bill). By coincidence during the game I happened to be Bill's co-player. We all played and chatted, and had a good time. We became closer to each other. I chatted with Bill a few times after that. The next weeks I found myself thinking obsessively about Bill in particular. Needless to say, I felt terrible about it. There was a time when Joe and I went for a walk downtown and we accidentally (or not) bumped into Bill. I felt strange. My heart raced when I saw him. After that I told Joe that Bill is our mentor at work but I didn't mention anything about the way I was feeling. I didn't want to hurt him so I decided not to indulge in this attraction anymore and to let it go. (It turned out to be a pretty hard thing to do.)
Last week at work we had our final meeting. I saw Bill but this time I felt nothing. I still think he is an interesting person but I don't feel such intense attraction as before. (I am proud of myself!) It seemed to me that he was flirting. I observed his body language. He sat next to me (there were other free seats), he praised me, he repeated my name way too many times, he laughed at my jokes, he said that he is single, he deliberately gave some hints that he is checking my social media profile/photos (he found some mutual likes and initiated a conversation about them). He made it clear that he would be happy if someone invites him for a drink outside of work.I want him to be my friend but I wonder whether all these are just friendly gestures or does he want something more that I'm not willing to give him.
Personally, I think I'm just overreacting because I don't have much experience with male friends other than my boyfriend. In fact, I don't have close male friends except Joe. In contrast, I have many close and not so close female friends. My (female) friends, Joe and I are going to a local club tonight. Do you think it is a good idea to invite Bill to come with us?
you are 24, it is totally normal to feel like this at that age. Once you get older, you may handle those situations differently. Our 20s are a good time to learn and figure stuff out. That's why I think nobody should marry at an early age.
Oh, and by the way - I think Bill is a creep.
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