My boyfriend told me he feels smothered by me but I love our schedule, how do I fix this? (girl, sex)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You can spend time by yourself! He might want time alone or to spend time with other friends or family even if you only have no other friends to see. It is not normal to spend the entire weekend with someone and 4 nights a week when you are dating. That is a lot. Most people want time to have other interests.
Okay, that is fair. I actually think I should move home. I think a lot of my co-dependency is because I don't have my family or friend network near me. I also miss my parents and home friends quite a bit. I miss having plans to do 24/7. Honestly I'm resentful of him sometimes because we both live in his home town, and he sees his parents multiple times a week and I can't. He has all his close friends here and I don't. I have a few friends around from college but it's not the same. I kind of moved here after undergrad to make things work with him because I don't like LDRs, but I don't think it's working for me anymore.
Yeah, it pretty much is. Except for Friday nights and one weekend a month.
That is only 6 days out of a month he gets his own time, and you still spend the night with him that Friday night.
So that's really only 2 days and a few hours a month that he has time for himself.
In any case, the guy is telling you to get lost. Why aren't you listening?
No, it's not. We hangout 1 hour each weeknight. After we eat and talk, he goes into his room and shuts the door the rest of the night. And he does that on Sunday's mostly too. It's not like I don't take any personal time for myself. I like being alone to a certain extent too.
He never told me to "get lost". We have a real relationship outside of what's written here where we care about each other a lot. He wants more space and I'm trying to figure out how to balance the relationship so everyone is happy. Maybe that's not possible with him. But I know if he didn't love me or didn't want to date me we wouldn't be together right now.
Okay, that is fair. I actually think I should move home. I think a lot of my co-dependency is because I don't have my family or friend network near me. I also miss my parents and home friends quite a bit. I miss having plans to do 24/7. Honestly I'm resentful of him sometimes because we both live in his home town, and he sees his parents multiple times a week and I can't. He has all his close friends here and I don't. I have a few friends around from college but it's not the same. I kind of moved here after undergrad to make things work with him because I don't like LDRs, but I don't think it's working for me anymore.
Honestly, it doesn’t sound like he really has much time to see them anyways with the schedule you described.
Okay, that is fair. I actually think I should move home. I think a lot of my co-dependency is because I don't have my family or friend network near me. I also miss my parents and home friends quite a bit. I miss having plans to do 24/7. Honestly I'm resentful of him sometimes because we both live in his home town, and he sees his parents multiple times a week and I can't. He has all his close friends here and I don't. I have a few friends around from college but it's not the same. I kind of moved here after undergrad to make things work with him because I don't like LDRs, but I don't think it's working for me anymore.
Honestly, it doesn’t sound like he really has much time to see them anyways with the schedule you described.
His best friend lives with him, we all hangout. I hangout with his friend when he goes into his room and does his own thing. We watch shows together. He sees his parents at least 3 times a week. He eats dinner there after work. His Dad and him go to football games all the time. Tonight they're going to one and tomorrow all day as well. Sometimes they travel out of state for them. The "typical weekend" is only valid when absolutely nothing is going on for either of us, which is rare during football season. He also goes fishing every single Saturday of the summer with his Dad, so we do date day on Sundays.
Moving anywhere is hard. I can certainly empathize since I just moved somewhere new this spring and haven’t made friends yet. Can you try to get involved in some regular activities? I do try to keep myself busy that way.
Moving anywhere is hard. I can certainly empathize since I just moved somewhere new this spring and haven’t made friends yet. Can you try to get involved in some regular activities? I do try to keep myself busy that way.
Yeah it's really hard and that's why I get resentful of him sometimes because I think he just expects me to have all these new friends and I don't. It's really tough. I tried Bumble BFF and that was semi-successful but nothing meaningful came of it. I'm thinking about joining some art classes but they are expensive, maybe something I can ask my parents for Christmas :\
Are you guys for real? Weekends is usually couples time, no? Waking up together, not having to rush, staying up late together. Every time I have a bf and express that I do something alone on a weekend, I'll get disappointment in their looks.
Same with all my friends and their partners.
It is NOT unusual that you go to your partners place Fridays after work and stay there until Monday morning. NOT unusual at all.
No, it's not. We hangout 1 hour each weeknight. After we eat and talk, he goes into his room and shuts the door the rest of the night. And he does that on Sunday's mostly too. It's not like I don't take any personal time for myself. I like being alone to a certain extent too.
He never told me to "get lost". We have a real relationship outside of what's written here where we care about each other a lot. He wants more space and I'm trying to figure out how to balance the relationship so everyone is happy. Maybe that's not possible with him. But I know if he didn't love me or didn't want to date me we wouldn't be together right now.
actions speak louder than words, imo, he is trying to end it, gently. Move back home or get a month to month on your current home, moving in is not a good idea, Maybe once you get to grad school, you will find new friends & maybe even a new b/f. You two do not seem compatible. Him, going to his room, & closing the bedroom door to you, speaks volumes.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
