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I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving way - it has all been quite romantic. I told him recently that I like him and he started acting awkward and said he likes me but does not want to take it further and he said he does not feel enough for me. He then said he probably did lead me on. I was stunned, I didn't stick around to talk as I felt he had taken the p*** out of me.
He is in his 40s and not had a girlfriend in years but does get shy and socially awkward around women. He did say not long ago to me and some friends when he was asked about dating was that he has had enough of women who answer back, he hasn't married as he has not found the right woman. He also said if he has a relationship he has to give up the hiking groups. I thought that is ridiculous as the right person would not make you give up your hobbies which I even told him this.
There have been occasions where he has said he doesn't do communal bedrooms with the hikers and likes his own space. He also at times has had outbursts, sulked and impatient in situations - not ideal.
I have realised I have wasted my time. I feel shocked and heartbroken now as I had pinned my hopes on him to be let down. How can I rebuild my life and move on? Am I best to cut contact with him? I know he gets annoyed when I talk to other guys but how can he when he rejected me. I still want to see my friends at the hiking group but don't know if I can go with him being there as I will have feelings.
Please can people please point out his red flags so I don't fall for this crap again. Thanks.
I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving way - it has all been quite romantic. I told him recently that I like him and he started acting awkward and said he likes me but does not want to take it further and he said he does not feel enough for me. He then said he probably did lead me on. I was stunned, I didn't stick around to talk as I felt he had taken the p*** out of me.
He is in his 40s and not had a girlfriend in years but does get shy and socially awkward around women. He did say not long ago to me and some friends when he was asked about dating was that he has had enough of women who answer back, he hasn't married as he has not found the right woman. He also said if he has a relationship he has to give up the hiking groups. I thought that is ridiculous as the right person would not make you give up your hobbies which I even told him this.
There have been occasions where he has said he doesn't do communal bedrooms with the hikers and likes his own space. He also at times has had outbursts, sulked and impatient in situations - not ideal.
I have realised I have wasted my time. I feel shocked and heartbroken now as I had pinned my hopes on him to be let down. How can I rebuild my life and move on? Am I best to cut contact with him? I know he gets annoyed when I talk to other guys but how can he when he rejected me. I still want to see my friends at the hiking group but don't know if I can go with him being there as I will have feelings.
Please can people please point out his red flags so I don't fall for this crap again. Thanks.
We've been pointing out the red flags to you for MONTHS. Do you even read the things people post on your threads?
Really quick, but I noticed this and couldn’t not respond with some encouragement - I think you’re being really hard on yourself. You weren’t duped or foolish, it just wasn’t a good match. Nothing to learn but to dust yourself off and move forward. Keep trying to find someone who you enjoy and match well with in interests and see if it grows from there.
It’s a stinky part of finding a mate but that’s the way it goes. Incompatibility it let downs aren’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. Hugs!
Please can people please point out his red flags so I don't fall for this crap again. Thanks.
There are too many red flags to point out all of them.
It sounds like he does not wish to marry and never will do so. I know people in hiking and walking organizations, some are a little strange (judgmental, I know). But most of them are married. So it doesn't make sense that a marriage would interfere with his hiking group and hobbies.
Is he in the Volksmarching hiking group? That's the one I know of.
I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving way - it has all been quite romantic. I told him recently that I like him and he started acting awkward and said he likes me but does not want to take it further and he said he does not feel enough for me. He then said he probably did lead me on. I was stunned, I didn't stick around to talk as I felt he had taken the p*** out of me.
He is in his 40s and not had a girlfriend in years but does get shy and socially awkward around women. He did say not long ago to me and some friends when he was asked about dating was that he has had enough of women who answer back, he hasn't married as he has not found the right woman. He also said if he has a relationship he has to give up the hiking groups. I thought that is ridiculous as the right person would not make you give up your hobbies which I even told him this.
There have been occasions where he has said he doesn't do communal bedrooms with the hikers and likes his own space. He also at times has had outbursts, sulked and impatient in situations - not ideal.
I have realised I have wasted my time. I feel shocked and heartbroken now as I had pinned my hopes on him to be let down. How can I rebuild my life and move on? Am I best to cut contact with him? I know he gets annoyed when I talk to other guys but how can he when he rejected me. I still want to see my friends at the hiking group but don't know if I can go with him being there as I will have feelings.
Please can people please point out his red flags so I don't fall for this crap again. Thanks.
Stop daydreaming (and getting attached) about guys who don't want relationship with you. He didn't promised you anything. You were not dating.
Heartbroken, rebuilding life... - stop being so overdramatic.
Go on with your life. He probably already forgot about you, and that little incident. Go hiking like nothing happened (because nothing really happened), and stay friendly but distant.
Or stay home and sulk. Your choice. Because you don't learn anything, or read our posts...
Go on like nothing happened and enjoy your hiking group. Keep it short and stay away from him. It will be awkward at first but it will stop. Make other friends.
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