Is it normal practice to ask a middle aged woman’s parents for her hand in marriage? (women, older)

[Adrian75]

My friends fiancés both asked the parents for permission to propose. One friend on her 3rd marriage at 46 and my other friend at 43 on her second marriage. I didn’t think it was still a tradition, especially when you are older.

[reneeh63]

Wow - totally crazy. I can see everyone sitting down together...maybe...after the couple has discussed it and are in agreement to marry. But for a middle-aged man to think he needs to ask a middle-aged previously married woman's parents for her hand? It's kind of insulting - EVERYONE's been an adult for 20 years or more! I'd say the parents think the guy is crazy too.

[SVTLightning]

When I approached my future FIL about that I asked for his blessing, not his permission. I think it is still respectful but I didn't like the permission word either.

[Chowhound]

3rd go around at 46. Naw, wouldn't bother....

[Frihed89]

Not unless your culture dictates it. Otherwise, you both announce it to them, together, face to face.

[Electrician4you]

Originally Posted by reneeh63

Wow - totally crazy. I can see everyone sitting down together...maybe...after the couple has discussed it and are in agreement to marry. But for a middle-aged man to think he needs to ask a middle-aged previously married woman's parents for her hand? It's kind of insulting - EVERYONE's been an adult for 20 years or more! I'd say the parents think the guy is crazy too.

Really depends on the n the traditions of the people. What's acceptable to you gets you stoned in stoned in country. And what's acceptable in another country may go against everything you believe.

The asking for hand in marriage is old tradition stuff. I don't know anyone who does it. But it doesn't mean some stodgy old daddy doesn't expect the guy to ask. Lots of parents have a control factor over their kids

[Gusano]

Assuming that the woman is a citizen of the USA and of legal age, parents’ permission to marry is unnecessary. Women are no longer property despite the vestigial practice of “giving the bride away.”

IMHO, it is disrespectful to the woman, archaic, and just plain weird.

[CBeisbol]

Originally Posted by Adrian75

Is it normal practice to ask a middle aged woman’s parents for her hand in marriage?

Depends on your definition of normal

The two that most readily, IMO, apply

2a :according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle The normal way to pluralize a noun is by adding -s.
b :conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern normal working hours He had a normal childhood. the effect of normal aging

4 a f, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development IQs within the normal range
b :free from mental illness :mentally sound symptoms of paranoia in otherwise normal persons

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/normal

I would say that it does not meet the definition of normal. Most people do not do this; it is not the norm or the regular pattern.

The second is less clear. A person who thinks that a parent has any ability to give, or deny, permission for their of-age-child to wed may not be of average intelligence or free from mental illness.

[skaternum]

Blessing, yes. Hand/permission, heck no.

[ComeCloser]

It is a traditional practice to ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage. Age and go-rounds don't really matter.

I'm not sure what the deal is if Dad has passed, whether its a young first marriage or a fifth old marriage, lol.

If you are planning a private wedding, or on running off somewhere exotic, I'm pretty sure this step is easily skipped.

For large formal events, Dad is expected to walk his daughter down the aisle, and hand her over to her new husband.

It may be becoming more and more out-dated as people become more and more antisocial (in the sense of less face-to-face interactions). But, it is still considered a sign of respect toward the bride's family.