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I got engaged at 36, married at 37. My husband was 40/41. Neither of us ever married prior.
My husband, unbeknownst to me, called my parents (who live 600 miles away, and he'd meet once) a week ahead of time to give them the heads up that he'd be asking me if I wanted to marry him. Not a permission situation, just being inclusive and keeping them in the loop.
It is, in contemporary society, more a show of good faith that you recognize that you'll be adjoining two different families, and keeping everyone a part of things, with respect to the family unit.
It was never a permission or patriarchy thing. My parents, who do everything as a team, jointly gave my husband their blessing and were thrilled. They both walked me down the aisle, too, as was my choice...not a giving away, but a celebrating with us.
I got engaged at 36, married at 37. My husband was 40/41. Neither of us ever married prior.
My husband, unbeknownst to me, called my parents (who live 600 miles away, and he'd meet once) a week ahead of time to give them the heads up that he'd be asking me if I wanted to marry him. Not a permission situation, just being inclusive and keeping them in the loop.
It is, in contemporary society, more a show of good faith that you recognize that you'll be adjoining two different families, and keeping everyone a part of things, with respect to the family unit.
Despite my posts in this thread, I do find what your hubby did to be a nice thing. Respectful, and that doesn't go out of style.
Are you sure that it was never a permission or patriarchy thing?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
I was speaking of my specific situation.
I think it depends on the situation. I suppose way back in the day it originated that way, but I don't think it's really a patriarchy thing so much today. Just more of a respectful gesture, but like I said up thread I wonder how often it still happens. I'm figuring not so much but that's just an anecdotal viewpoint. Don't have any stats to back it up.
Last edited by Chowhound; 11-11-2017 at 07:38 PM..
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