Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm attracted to someone at work but we've never really had a proper conversation. Apart from being very attractive, I can tell this person is kind: always smiling, polite, etc. I haven't told anyone about my attraction, but recently there have been a few occasions where this person has walked by while I'm talking to a co-worker, and the co-worker has made a negative remark like "She's awkward," or something small about the way she does something at work.
It's nothing really ghastly, but would negative comments like this make you reconsider pursuing?
Do negative comments about someone you're interested in make them less attractive to you?
I'm confused because I see this person every day at work and they're always genuinely smiling at people, being kind, saying thank you/please; I can tell they're quieter, introverted, but I don't really understand the negativity. The comments have come from all females, but they range in age so I don't think it could be jealousy.
I'm attracted to someone at work but we've never really had a proper conversation. Apart from being very attractive, I can tell this person is kind: always smiling, polite, etc. I haven't told anyone about my attraction, but recently there have been a few occasions where this person has walked by while I'm talking to a co-worker, and the co-worker has made a negative remark like "She's awkward," or something small about the way she does something at work.
It's nothing really ghastly, but would negative comments like this make you reconsider pursuing?
Do negative comments about someone you're interested in make them less attractive to you?
I'm confused because I see this person every day at work and they're always genuinely smiling at people, being kind, saying thank you/please; I can tell they're quieter, introverted, but I don't really understand the negativity. The comments have come from all females, but they range in age so I don't think it could be jealousy.
Well, firstly you are assigning a LOT of positive qualities to a person you do not know. Just because she smiles and says pleasantries to co-workers does not automatically make her a nice person. She could be a butt-kisser. You don't really know yet.
And 2, certain negative comments might put me off. It depends on whether the commenter had an actual bad experience with the person. But I believe that you should get to know people yourself and form your own opinions.
Ergh... don't go to the bathroom where you eat, and don't date where you work. Check with HR (if a big company) or the employee handbook, but it's probably not allowed anyway. Is it worth your job to pursue a relationship?
As for the comments, could go either way. It draws attention to you, which is good. But if the person is going to be dissuaded by negative comments without bothering to find out for themselves, then you're better off without them in your life anyway. Mostly it's indicating that the one making negative comments ought to be avoided at all costs as they are a toxic person who will throw you under the bus the first chance they get.
I'm attracted to someone at work but we've never really had a proper conversation. Apart from being very attractive, I can tell this person is kind: always smiling, polite, etc. I haven't told anyone about my attraction, but recently there have been a few occasions where this person has walked by while I'm talking to a co-worker, and the co-worker has made a negative remark like "She's awkward," or something small about the way she does something at work.
It's nothing really ghastly, but would negative comments like this make you reconsider pursuing?
Do negative comments about someone you're interested in make them less attractive to you?
I'm confused because I see this person every day at work and they're always genuinely smiling at people, being kind, saying thank you/please; I can tell they're quieter, introverted, but I don't really understand the negativity. The comments have come from all females, but they range in age so I don't think it could be jealousy.
Believe me, it is jealousy.
As for the effect of negative comments on attraction, it depends on the person. Get to know her. Awkward?! That's not necessarily a bad thing.
It's nothing really ghastly, but would negative comments like this make you reconsider pursuing?
Do negative comments about someone you're interested in make them less attractive to you?
Absolutely..
I am a flawed individual... much of the people that are close to heart for me are "flawed".... but good in each individual ways. If I'm going to let you into my life, you'll have to accept that; negativity will put me in a position to choose between you and them... they will win.
Well, firstly you are assigning a LOT of positive qualities to a person you do not know. Just because she smiles and says pleasantries to co-workers does not automatically make her a nice person. She could be a butt-kisser. You don't really know yet.
And 2, certain negative comments might put me off. It depends on whether the commenter had an actual bad experience with the person. But I believe that you should get to know people yourself and form your own opinions.
Putting aside the minefield of getting involved with coworkers, it doesn't sound like you actually had any social interaction with this person. Why don't you at least strike up a conversation with her so that you can get a sense of what she is like versus what she seems like.
Well, firstly you are assigning a LOT of positive qualities to a person you do not know. Just because she smiles and says pleasantries to co-workers does not automatically make her a nice person. She could be a butt-kisser. You don't really know yet.
Truth!!
My girlfriend is almost over-the-top bubbly/sweet at work because she's in retail and that's what she gets paid to do. I almost can't stop to see her at work because it's just about too much. And she is a kind person, but not anything like that. Interestingly enough, she gets a decent number of guys that interpret her sweetness at work to be flirting.
So, funny story, she was telling me about this conversation at work the other day.....
Customer: You are always such a nice person. It's wonderful when you're here because you're so nice that it makes me feel happy.
Girlfriend: Actually I can't stand people and am waiting for natural selection to occur (while smiling)
Customer: I wouldn't believe that for a second, you're just too nice. And you're funny too. I love it when you help me.
Putting aside the minefield of getting involved with coworkers, it doesn't sound like you actually had any social interaction with this person. Why don't you at least strike up a conversation with her so that you can get a sense of what she is like versus what she seems like.
This is good advice. We've spoken, but briefly and just about something at work. There was also another incident where this woman was complaining about a few people who work with me (this woman has something to complain about every day, though) and she mentioned the woman I'm attracted to. Since the one I'm attracted to was standing right behind her, I'm certain she heard her. I glanced over at her and she looked shocked for a few moments but then just looked at me and smiled and shook her head. I was anticipating a catfight for a moment.
There is one other incident that makes me think she may truly be a nice person. I was a restaurant and she walked in with a child. I don't think she noticed me because her back was turned to me, but the little girl was her niece. Since they were sitting at the table right next to me I couldn't help but hear their conversation. They were giggling and talking and she was being kind to her the entire time.
Again, this could just be coincidental, though. Maybe I'll just try to find a way to speak with her and see for myself.
The coworker who keeps making negative remarks sounds like someone who would turn me off. I read your title wrong. I thought you were asking if you would be turned off by the things people say about others, in which case, yes. I think you would just have to get to know the girl you're attracted to more. Society isn't built for quiet, introverted and awkward people. If you're okay with her being the way she is, then talk to her more to find out. But like someone said, I wouldn't crap where I eat either.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
