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Is there a reason that it is inherently bad for people to date someone their friend has had sex with?
Exactly.
Nope. I've not risked an infraction by saying that anyone is dumb.
Nor have I said that anyone was dumb for not wanting to date someone that their friend has had sex with.
What I said was dumb was the advice that people were giving based upon the unsupported assumption that it is inherently bad to have a relationship with someone their friend has had sex with.
" "It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is""
That was really the point in my first post. Not that screwing other guys is bad, but the OP was too consumed getting involved with other men that she never made herself available for Bieber.
Sounds like she had a few relationships, and a hook up, over the course of a year or more. You know, normal behavior.
Yes, she could have, and, IMO, should have, been more proactive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ActionJaction
Glad it's not just me thinking this.
Still waiting for someone to explain to me why it's inherently bad to date someone that a friend had sex with.
Also, a large quantity of my posts in this forum are me asking other people why they do what they do regarding relationships not for my edification, but for theirs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
so that means you are just as dumb as I am?
If you think that that's what that means, then, no - not at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602
What he actually said was...
Dating someone your best friend has slept with is inherently bad
That is if he says that only the answers on his side are reasonable.
Both sides have to have reasonable answers, not just one.
After all, he is the one who brought up the concept of something being inherently bad.
Not at all, no.
It's like the concept of innocent until proven guilty.
Nothing should be deemed inherently bad unless there's reason for it to be.
No one has given anything close to reason that dating someone that your friend has had sex with is inherently bad.
Sure, it could be bad. But that's not the same thing.
This man name Justin approached me at school. He was so handsome and breathtaking. He was very respectful always says hi when we see each other. One day, he asked if I had a boyfriend I told him yes. He didn't get sad or anything, he moved passed it and started to do his own thing. he didn't give me the attention he used to before I told him I was in a relationship I was thinking to myself, darn if I didn't have a boyfriend, I would love to go out with him. We eventually became friends and he became friends with my best friends. All four of my friends like Justin also. One day I saw one of my friends give him a hug and I came and pushed her out the way and gave him a hug. I was possessive of him and jealous. Me and my boyfriend broke up, i was thinking now i have a chance, but I didn't tell Justin or make him aware of it because maybe i felt he didn't like me and I was scared to tell him. A few months later I got involved in another relationship but I still liked Justin. Few months after that Justin transferred to another university. I was sad, and thinking "Justin is going to leave town, have a baby or get married and forget about me. Soon after that Justin reached out to me online and confessed his feelings for me and told me he's had crush on me ever since he met me but he never told me because I was always involved with someone and that because I have a boyfriend, he won't get in between that.
I told him I've always had a crush on him to but I never told him because i felt he didn't like me and I thought he had a girlfriend. He said he has plans to live in another state. I told him I wanted him to stay and not leave. Even though I had a boyfriend, Deep down I wanted him to wait for me. Justin said if me and my boyfriend don't work out hit him up but he's not waiting around. I saw him in a picture with a beautiful Jamaican/Cuban girl in a bikini. I was jealous, I sent the girl a friend request because I wanted to see what did she that I didn't have.
Several months after, me and my boyfriend broke up. This is the second time I didn't let Justin know that I'm single, i don't have the courage to tell him. I'm used to a guy coming to me and Justin makes me get chills in my body. Justin's best friend Steven hit me up on facebook and asked for my number and we started going out for a few months. I figured since Justin hasn't approach me yet i'll go out with Steven. Me and Steven took a trip to New York and we ended up having sex. Steven and I were not in a relationship we just fooled and didn't talk much afterwards, When I came back home I received a message from Justin saying he found out about us and he asked "why did you go out with Steven and when you told me you liked me?"
I was making excuses saying "Steven approached me more than you and asked me out more, I figured you lost interest and I thought you had a girlfriend." I told I'm sorry but I can't go out with you. I then told Justin not to give up hope too fast, you never know what will happen in the future! Which was soo foul of me, I still liked Justin, I didn't want him to leave out of my life, I started to feel guilty. A few months after that I ran into Justin and he started expressing his heart out to me and we left on a good note. Justin then asked for my number on facebook and we started texting and asked to go out with me and I told him i will think about it.
Next thing you know, a guy named Derek who I've been going out with for a few months now wanted to be exclusive with me. Me and Derek was now in a relationship. But Justin is still texting me and calling me. I ignore his calls and his texts, He left a voicemail and left a message on facebook to asked whats wrong and why wasn't I responding to him, I ignored that message to and i felt soo bad.
I haven't heard a word from Justin since then and its been a few years. I followed his twitter hoping maybe he would say something to me. He followed me back but didn't say anything, I followed his other twitter account and followed me back on that one but he didn't say anything. Its like there's mystery about him now, i'm not sure how he feels about me I heard from other people that he said I blamed him for the choices I made.
Where did I go wrong? How do I make this right with him and apologize because its burden that I need to be lifted off.
This is ridiculous! You had like 5 chances right in front of your face to go out with Justin.
Still waiting for someone to explain to me why it's inherently bad to date someone that a friend had sex with.
Also, a large quantity of my posts in this forum are me asking other people why they do what they do regarding relationships not for my edification, but for theirs.
If you think that that's what that means, then, no - not at all.
Not at all, no.
It's like the concept of innocent until proven guilty.
Nothing should be deemed inherently bad unless there's reason for it to be.
No one has given anything close to reason that dating someone that your friend has had sex with is inherently bad.
Sure, it could be bad. But that's not the same thing.
That discussion makes my head explode. I am out. Need some beer.
Sounds like she had a few relationships, and a hook up, over the course of a year or more. You know, normal behavior.
Yes, she could have, and, IMO, should have, been more proactive.
Still waiting for someone to explain to me why it's inherently bad to date someone that a friend had sex with.
Also, a large quantity of my posts in this forum are me asking other people why they do what they do regarding relationships not for my edification, but for theirs.
If you think that that's what that means, then, no - not at all.
Not at all, no.
It's like the concept of innocent until proven guilty.
Nothing should be deemed inherently bad unless there's reason for it to be.
No one has given anything close to reason that dating someone that your friend has had sex with is inherently bad.
Sure, it could be bad. But that's not the same thing.
I haven't seen anywhere where anyone has stated that dating someone that your friend has had sex with is inherently bad. I mean sure, you may have inadvertently said it, but I rather not get into that...ahem!
However, a lot of people wouldn't do that. It's not the norm.
But really what I got from it is that OP ignored Justin's attempts to reach out, he moved on. She seems to be a little frustrated that he is not talking to her, but she has only liked his social media activity, and he has liked back.
If OP is reading this, the maybe she should try reaching out to him and then seeing what happens. He has already made attempts to reach out to her. He just had the self respect to not pine over her and be open to others. Even if she did not have sex with his friend, he would've moved on if she ignored his attempts to reach out.
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