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By "old school" I mean things such as opening the car door for you, opening the door when entering a place, pulling your chair, etc.?
It seems as if for a lot of young women today those are seen as outdated or even sexist things to do. Not all women mind you, of course. I was raised and believed to do such things and did so for my now wife and she has always enjoyed them. Not all times at every occasion mind you, but say we are having a date night or going somewhere fancy. Depends on the venue and the circumstances. While I am willing to "adapt" if a woman doesn't like it or view them as offensive I really don't like it when they are mean about it. Before I met my wife I went on a date with a woman that, when we were walking up to the restaurant for our date I kind of lunged forward and opened the door and she yelled out "What the hell are you doing??" when I explained she said "That's some old sexist stuff, I am fully capable of opening the damn door!". She was not pleased to say the least. Obviously didn't stick around with her for long but for other reasons.
By "old school" I mean things such as opening the car door for you, opening the door when entering a place, pulling your chair, etc.?
It seems as if for a lot of young women today those are seen as outdated or even sexist things to do. Not all women mind you, of course. I was raised and believed to do such things and did so for my now wife and she has always enjoyed them. Not all times at every occasion mind you, but say we are having a date night or going somewhere fancy. Depends on the venue and the circumstances. While I am willing to "adapt" if a woman doesn't like it or view them as offensive I really don't like it when they are mean about it. Before I met my wife I went on a date with a woman that, when we were walking up to the restaurant for our date I kind of lunged forward and opened the door and she yelled out "What the hell are you doing??" when I explained she said "That's some old sexist stuff, I am fully capable of opening the damn door!". She was not pleased to say the least. Obviously didn't stick around with her for long but for other reasons.
That reaction is ridiculous regardless of whether it's date that did so or some polite stranger on the street.
It is only seen as old fashioned because they've probably never even seen it done in old movies because they don't watch them! And I don't think many women actually yell and curse at men who open doors for them...unless men make a huge show of it - and making a show of things is NEVER polite.
How about men be genuinely nice and caring about dating in general - most women would rather have that than men blindly fumbling with manners they don't know or really even care about. Do something that is MEANINGFUL rather than foisting a custom on women that has been forgotten. It's all about RESPECT.
I believe it’s always a kindly gesture. No, it’s not necessary. Yes, it’s old fashioned. Opening a door is a formalized symbol of someone putting the other person first.
Even if you’re young and perfectly modern, if you’re going on a fancy date, both of you might enjoy dressing up and role playing with your old-fashioned good manners.
In day to day life, it’s not expected unless someone needs a hand.
Probably one of the most insulting responses I ever got from manners was a woman who laughed at me standing when she entered the room and saying "You're just doing that because you saw it in a movie."
She had no manners herself, nor even most of the common courtesies.
Needless to say, it didn't work out. Oh, wait -- I didn't need to say that.
By contrast, another time the wife of a friend showed up for supper and later at the table commented "More guys could take lessons from you." I honestly didn't realize what she meant until she told me, because I don't think about things like standing, I just do them.
I believe it’s always a kindly gesture. No, it’s not necessary. Yes, it’s old fashioned. Opening a door is a formalized symbol of someone putting the other person first.
Even if you’re young and perfectly modern, if you’re going on a fancy date, both of you might enjoy dressing up and role playing with your old-fashioned good manners.
In day to day life, it’s not expected unless someone needs a hand.
Technically, I think it's a remnant from the days of letting a worthless woman take an arrow, in case there's an assassin in the other chamber, but I like the way we've modified it for a gentler time.
That reaction is ridiculous regardless of whether it's date that did so or some polite stranger on the street.
I've never understood such a reaction to opening a door. It's a courteous thing to do. I do it for men and women - if I see someone close behind me as I enter a building, I hold the door for them. My husband does, too, and we've taught our kids the same.
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