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Leading me to pick an answer I would NOT choose, because I don't have to. That's not defensive, it's the truth. My opinion was asked for, so you don't get to decide I'm "wrong". Sheesh, you won't be confused with the guy who likes having manners, don't worry about it.
What are you talking about?
I asked you to rate three things. That's not leading you to pick an answer that you would not choose.
Where did I do this?
You are putting 3 options before her and asking her to rate them. As those are not the only options in life, they don't really apply to anything.
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How have you come to that conclusion?
Of course they apply to something
And what hat did you pull that rabbit out of, or was it a hole? How did you decide between hat, hole and trail? And how do you go down a rabbit trail if there's snow, is it instinct? And why conclude it can only be rabbits when it is a monkey that historically is distracted by a shiny coin? 🐒
Thanks for womansplaining to me what instinct and bystander effect is. What would i have done without you. Opening a door for a woman, was taught to be something nice that men can do for the opposite sex. I was raised to do that, so when you receive negative reinforcement for trying to do something nice for a stranger, it really sticks out in your memory. Its just a single symptom of sickness in this society.
I think you are proving my point that it is entirely possible for a man to hold doors open, open a car door and perform other old school mannerisms for women without actually respecting them much at all. You may go through the ritualized motions but don't seem to understand that women are human beings each with unique personalities and quirks. Some will like what you do, others will be indifferent and some will react negatively. You seem to have some idealized version of a woman in your head that matches up more with an animated Disney princess than an actual living person.
And when you say that you were raised to be nice to women, I find that really hard to believe. You may hold the door open for them, but clearly you don't believe them to be your equal and worthy of respect. Your use of the word "womansplaining" and overall attitude betrays your true feelings. Your assertion that men have an innate need to protect and help women implies that you believe women are in need of your help and protection. If you can't identify the sexism inherent in that belief than you will never understand many of the posts in this thread.
... Before I met my wife I went on a date with a woman that, when we were walking up to the restaurant for our date I kind of lunged forward and opened the door and she yelled out "What the hell are you doing??" when I explained she said "That's some old sexist stuff, I am fully capable of opening the damn door!". She was not pleased to say the least. Obviously didn't stick around with her for long but for other reasons.
A female barked at me for that same behavior once.
I am a very modern woman and a feminist. I like when people hold
doors open for me and I hold the door open for others too, whether men or women. If i am opening a door and someone is behind me, I will wait and hold it for them.
One time an elderly man was behind me and he snapped at me for holding the door open and said he was not helpless. I guess he assumed I was only holding the door for him because he was elderly.
I don't EXPECT a man to open a door for me because I am a woman. I am more than capable of opening it myself but I think it's a sweet gesture.
Thank you for letting me know that they are just trying to be polite and thoughtful. And for letting me know how I should respond, I wouldn't have known otherwise! As I've mentioned in a previous post, I wouldn't act offended. But I, personally, don't care for grand, chivalrous gestures such as opening car doors and pulling back my chair, regardless of intent. I'd thank them, but would probably follow up with a "that's not necessary". At the end of the day, we are talking about dates here. I'm looking to meet somebody on my wavelength, when I go on a date. Thankfully, this has never been an issue. I'm guessing I'm from a different generation, but I have never encountered such behaviours on a date. That isn't to say the men I have dated weren't polite or thoughtful, they just showed it in a different way.
Interesting that you should mention 'control' though. How does control come into it? I thought we were just talking about politeness and thoughtfulness.
People who feel their hackles rise when someone does something for them often have control issues. That's all.
I am a very modern woman and a feminist. I like when people hold
doors open for me and I hold the door open for others too, whether men or women. If i am opening a door and someone is behind me, I will wait and hold it for them.
One time an elderly man was behind me and he snapped at me for holding the door open and said he was not helpless. I guess he assumed I was only holding the door for him because he was elderly.
Yeah, people won't always be gracious. Cost of being mannerly. You run into some who aren't.
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As I've mentioned in a previous post, I wouldn't act offended. But I, personally, don't care for grand, chivalrous gestures such as opening car doors and pulling back my chair, regardless of intent. I'd thank them, but would probably follow up with a "that's not necessary". At the end of the day, we are talking about dates here. I'm looking to meet somebody on my wavelength, when I go on a date. Thankfully, this has never been an issue. I'm guessing I'm from a different generation, but I have never encountered such behaviours on a date. That isn't to say the men I have dated weren't polite or thoughtful, they just showed it in a different way. 
