Women: How much of the "old school" mannerisms of going on a date do you like? (partner, meaning)

[Humble and Kind]

Originally Posted by CBeisbol

Nope
I'm implying that they don't know what they are talking about since they think they are answering my questions, but they are not.


Feel free




The lack of confidence in the ability to answer the question, was based on the responses the questions
I didn't make the assumption that they wouldn't be able to answer the question - maybe I should have.


This is your assumption, not mine




The respect for women oozes from this post, doesn't it?

"I, me, my..." Narcissistic personality.

[CBeisbol]

Originally Posted by Humble and Kind

"I, me, my..." Narcissistic personality.

What's amusing about this post is that I'm specifically asking people not to post about this in relation to themselves. They're not able to. And you think I'm the narcissist.
Also

Originally Posted by Humble and Kind

me
I
my
I
me

Now that the personal insults part of the post is finished

Originally Posted by Humble and Kind

Yes, and there is no problem with that for me.

Isn't that a double standard?
If so, why do you have this double standard?
Or your going to claim that you don't have a problem with the guys you described here

Originally Posted by Forever Blue

Any good guy couldn't just sit in the passenger seat OR worse...sit in his OWN car on his phone or something while his woman's out there pumping the gas. A lazy @s$hole would let it happen though.

And why this double standard?

If a woman chooses to do that, then I'm sure there's lots of other work she's probably doing in the relationship while her man's sitting on his ass letting her do it...because a man who lets his woman pump the gas is MORE THAN LIKELY going to have her doing other things that HE could be doing. He's NOT going to be such a gentleman in one area & a lazy ass in other areas.

Why do you assume that a guy who allows a woman to pump her own gas doesn't contribute to the relationship in other ways, but a woman who doesn't pump gas, does?

I pump gas, open doors, offer my coat, make nice meals, give massages, and do my best to make her feel special. I don't expect anything in return. It isn't a matter of "I'll do this so I get that." It's called BEING NICE TO PEOPLE.
She does nice things for me to, not in return, but to just be nice...it's called BEING NICE TO PEOPLE.

Great
So, in regards to your other post, if you saw a woman pumping gas while a man sat in the car you would assume that he was a lazy ******* and not assume that she was trying to make him feel special or BEING NICE TO HIM. Why?

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by CBeisbol

What's amusing about this post is that I'm specifically asking people not to post about this in relation to t
So, in regards to your other post, if you saw a woman pumping gas while a man sat in the car you would assume that he was a lazy ******* and not assume that she was trying to make him feel special or BEING NICE TO HIM. Why?

Really not sure why you don't get this. In general, men and women do different things for each other. When my husband pumps gas I appreciate it, if I pumped gas for him he wouldn't appreciate it. Different things are important to each of us.

People KEEP answering your questions, and you ignore the answers, or say they are missing the point.

[CBeisbol]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Really not sure why you don't get this. In general, men and women do different things for each other. When my husband pumps gas I appreciate it, if I pumped gas for him he wouldn't appreciate it.

And where do those differences come from?


You also make a lot of posts along the lines of this one

Originally Posted by //www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/2836876-some-stereotypes-about-women-men-true-4.html#post49870976

Of course, there are a lot of truths in stereotypes. That's how they start.

But you can't apply stereotypes to individuals, that's when problems start.

So, how does this work?

Should we treat people as individuals?
Or stereotype them?

[rego00123]

In general with a dating situation.

I want a woman, and adult. not a child as a partner.
I need someone who is capable and not solely reliant on others to be happy in their life.

I would never just do things just “because” someone wishes I would for them just to further my own agenda towards them.

It’s a tandem act that gives as well as it receives as far as respects towards “needs” are considered.

Kick rocks if you can’t get with the program.

selling yourself short with people Just to gain some immediately beneficial personal returns from them if a longer term relation is what you ultimately seek bothering to relate to them in the first place is completely counter intuitive and will only serve to seat you with someone you will grow to distrust and hate more and more as time passes.

The whole “gas” thing presented in this thread. I would be the man sitting inside the car when driving with my wife because she would never let anyone touch her car let alone want them to put gas in it for her. That would never fly with her even though I would be readily willing to do something as simple as fill the tank up while she sat inside the car.

That is just not who she is and I am not going to try to convince her otherwise.

Outside of a dating situation.
Everyone gets the same common courtesies regardless of my affiliation (or lack their of) towards them.

Hence “common”

Like it or lump it, I’m not doing it “for you” and you alone. It’s not a special act of kindness designed to impress or sway you to like me. It’s a simple courtesy

I will offer it to you (a stranger in to my life) as a show of kindness and to be as pleasant as possible towards you as a show of friendly intent.

You can either take that for what it is or turn it in to your own narrative for your own purposes, but sure as hell won’t be around if you want to pick a personal fight over your personally held beliefs if that’s your prerogative.

I owe you nothing on that front.

[shorman]

Originally Posted by the minx

My mom will stand and wait for men to open doors. She's of a different generation, so I understand, but I told her she has to adapt and start doing for herself.

You mean she will just stand outside a door and wait for a man to come along and open it?

[Forever Blue]

Originally Posted by CBeisbol

Would a lazy ******* who happened to be female allow a guy to pump gas while she sat in her own car?

You didn't answer
Do you pump gas for him?
Offer him your coat?

Does he cook nice meals for you?
Does he give you massages?
Does he make you feel special?...

I don't & won't pump his gas, but I do other equally nice things & my fiance' will say it right now to anyone & he knows that I appreciate him. Again, I'm not the one who said I was ALL for women's power. Sure, I know women are equal & all that, but some duties, such as pumping gas, mowing the lawn, taking out trash, & other more physically strenuous, or messy, etc. duties SHOULD be done by THEIR MAN if they have a man to do it.

Now, I'm NOT saying for example that if there's a woman in an apt complex, that ALL the men in the building should drop what they're doing & flock to help her out. Of course NOT. If he's a single, stranger guy who happened to be around & saw that she was in need of aid & he WANTED to offer help, then fine.

If anyone out there says it needs to be more black & white & not this 'yes' in these situations & 'no' in these other situations, then that's anyone's prerogative. But then, it causes OTHER problems in a relationship if there's a couple in which the guy feels he has to be the"white knight" to all "helpless ladies" out there.

I know of a couple of married men out there (definitely NOT friends of mine) who treat their wives like $#!t, yet will help out the young, good-looking women, but ignore the old, ugly women.

[John1981]

Originally Posted by Forever Blue

I don't & won't pump his gas, but I do other equally nice things & my fiance' will say it right now to anyone & he knows that I appreciate him. Again, I'm not the one who said I was ALL for women's power. Sure, I know women are equal & all that, but some duties, such as pumping gas, mowing the lawn, taking out trash, & other more physically strenuous, or messy, etc. duties SHOULD be done by THEIR MAN if they have a man to do it.

Now, I'm NOT saying for example that if there's a woman in an apt complex, that ALL the men in the building should drop what they're doing & flock to help her out. Of course NOT. If he's a single, stranger guy who happened to be around & saw that she was in need of aid & he WANTED to offer help, then fine.

If anyone out there says it needs to be more black & white & not this 'yes' in these situations & 'no' in these other situations, then that's anyone's prerogative. But then, it causes OTHER problems in a relationship if there's a couple in which the guy feels he has to be the"white knight" to all "helpless ladies" out there.

I know of a couple of married men out there (definitely NOT friends of mine) who treat their wives like $#!t, yet will help out the young, good-looking women, but ignore the old, ugly women.

Sounds to me like you choose equality, when it benefits you..... so very common and cliche

[Sonic_Spork]

My guy actually asked me not too long ago how I felt about the whole door opening thing. I told him, it's nice, but it's no big deal either way. He said a female co-worker of his asked him if he opened doors for me, and he said, "No" and she read him the riot act over how to act proper with his girlfriend. I thought that was pretty funny.

I see door opening, as in doors to public places, as just a nice thing that people can do for each other. I open doors for other people all the time. When I go into a door of a public place, it's a habit for me to glance behind, and hold the door if someone is coming behind me. Just letting it go, and letting it close in somebody's face seems really rude. When anyone does it for me, I thank them. Also...manners. Just being polite. Gender doesn't matter, this isn't about chivalry, to me, it's just about being nice.

Now with regard to car doors, it's cute and it might make me smile, if my man opens my door for me, which he's done on occasion when we rode in his car. But if it's cold out, I'd much rather we both got into the car (and he got it started up) as quickly as possible. Anything that gets the heater going a few seconds faster, should take precedent over any kind of a gentlemanly gesture! Pumping gas...that's a new one for me...I don't think I've ever let anyone else pump gas into my vehicle, that would be a little weird. But then, I am not from Oregon, so...

[CBeisbol]

Originally Posted by Forever Blue

some duties, such as pumping gas, mowing the lawn, taking out trash, & other more physically strenuous, or messy, etc. duties SHOULD be done by THEIR MAN if they have a man to do it.

Why?