I have a crush on my therapist (*face palm*)

[CosmicTraveler21]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Yeah, me too...get a Hitachi. Problem solved.

ahhh...HITACHI...I was struggling to remember that name. Thanks.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler21

I also think i just might be super hormonal and [snip] any attractive man that comes my way. This happens to me about once a month. LOL

Oh, me too. Hear you! Like a damned goat.

Buzz buzz.

[Katiethegreat]

Well I fell in love with my male nurse that was a therapeutic relationship with someone in authority,I was in psyche so it's similar and very frowned upon.I think you should just discuss your attraction,we aren't always perfectly rational beings,concepts like transference etc are too reasoned and clinical.At the end of the day you are two human beings relating to each other,you're looking to him for wisdom and guidance not just psychological theories.I don't know how you can invest your emotional life into someone and expect to remain distant that is pretty strange.There is so little intimate connection or revelation of deep feelings in day to day life that I'm not at all surprised that people fall for their therapists who they can reveal their world too.

I didn't try to erode my feelings or anything,I think they were perfectly natural and meant,that this person was put on my path for a reason and that I could learn something valuable from the whole experience.

Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler21

I would like to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Katiethegreat

I don't know how you can invest your emotional life into someone and expect to remain distant that is pretty strange.

And yet if this therapist were female (assuming the OP is straight-up hetero), she'd manage it.

Right?

Sure you can open your emotional life to your therapist without deciding the therapist is either your lover or your bestie. It happens every day. The OP specifically says "crush." That goes beyond even the typical somewhat-attached feeling one may get for a therapist due, as you say, to opening up emotionally.

And from the other side of things, sharing and not becoming something beyond a client/therapist association...well, from the therapist's side of things, he does that every single day. In fact, he does it for a living.

Nobody said she would need to be "distant," she does need to open up. We said she needs to be non-romantic. (Well, to paraphrase.) It's a dangerous place to go to in thinking "well, but this is probably normal, so I can only be expected to think romantically about this person." Definitely it's a dangerous place when 1. a hint of such a thing could ruin the therapist's career - ruin his life, in fact and b. the OP is already in a precarious emotional place. One more knock could be pretty darned hard on her.

I think we all understand HOW it can happen, it's not like the OP is a bad person...this is a pretty common thing. We're just trying to talk some sense to her and help her out of it, because this will only hurt her if it continues.

[CarolinaMoon1]

Originally Posted by BirdieBelle

It's very common, and it sounds like it's really kinda temporary for you.

It just sounds more like erotic transference to me. It's really only a problem if you cannot shake this crush, which I am betting you can, and it's a REAL problem if your therapist does this with YOU. But it sounds like he has a pretty good handle on it so far.

He can use these feelings and the situation to help you recognize problematic habits and thoughts to avoid in future relationships.

I agree with this - it's not unusual at all. What helps a great deal is to talk about it in therapy - a good therapist will normalize it, be very clear about ethical boundaries within the therapeutic relationship (that they will never act on the client's feelings) and make it safe for the client to talk about whatever they are feeling. The "crush" generally transforms over time into a greater sense of valuing, trust, safety, and mutual regard.