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Would you Guys date a 30+ widow with small child who realy loved her husband, or would you be affraid being the second?
I'm not a guy, but I am a widow.
How long has it been since her husband died?
What do you consider being second? I'm 3.5 years out and still cry on occassion from missing my husband. We were separated through no fault of our own, but that doesn't mean any man who enters my life is second. He is a new opportunity, a chapter two in my life.
You have to be mature enough to realize that her love for him will not go away, but that doesn't take love away from you. Love is unlimited.
It's like when people have there second child - there love for the new child does not diminish the love for the first child.
What do you consider being second? I'm 3.5 years out and still cry on occassion from missing my husband. We were separated through no fault of our own, but that doesn't mean any man who enters my life is second. He is a new opportunity, a chapter two in my life.
You have to be mature enough to realize that her love for him will not go away, but that doesn't take love away from you. Love is unlimited.
It's like when people have there second child - there love for the new child does not diminish the love for the first child.
My husband died 10 months ago I am not ready, yet, to enter any relationship, I miss him so much. My daughter misses him, too. I cannot imagin to be with other man, but recently I spoke with one of my friens and he said he could not date or be with young widow who realy loved her husband just because he would feel like in "shadow of first husband". Just made me think about this.
My husband died 10 months ago I am not ready, yet, to enter any relationship, I miss him so much. My daughter misses him, too. I cannot imagin to be with other man, but recently I spoke with one of my friens and he said he could not date or be with young widow who realy loved her husband just because he would feel like in "shadow of first husband". Just made me think about this.
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You're fine. At 10 months out I can't recommend dating. You're probably still in shock. Of course you miss him, you always will though it will get less painful.
You friend just can't relate. And a lot of men can't. You do not want a man who will ask you to take down pictures, not understand when you cry for your loss, or feel any sense of competition. Don't worry, they are out there.
I didn't date until 2 years out, and heck i wouldn't qualify me at that time as totally ready. Only you can decide.
If you need to talk to people who can relate have you tried any of the widow boards? I can't recommend them enough for bringing together people who can relate to what you are going through.
If you're interested I can provide you with recommendations.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss to your daughter. There are very few situations in life to compare to the pain you are going through. If there is anything I can do.... I will.
[quote=Mikala43;15030888]You're fine. At 10 months out I can't recommend dating. You're probably still in shock. Of course you miss him, you always will though it will get less painful.
You friend just can't relate. And a lot of men can't. You do not want a man who will ask you to take down pictures, not understand when you cry for your loss, or feel any sense of competition. Don't worry, they are out there.
I didn't date until 2 years out, and heck i wouldn't qualify me at that time as totally ready. Only you can decide.
If you need to talk to people who can relate have you tried any of the widow boards? I can't recommend them enough for bringing together people who can relate to what you are going through.
If you're interested I can provide you with recommendations.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss to your daughter. There are very few situations in life to compare to the pain you are going through. If there is anything I can do.... I will.[/QU
In general I am ok... I was in shock when my daughter discovered him in our bed with purple face, and shortly after that. He came from work, went to sleep and never woke-up. But his health was not good. Well I try to be strong and some how rebuild my life.... I am busy looking for job, taking care of my kid.
I would consider dating a widow if she's HOT and has her life together (same for anyone) but if her kid doesn't like me, then I would X out of it.
I'm with you there i'd consider it if she was smokin' hot and was "ready" otherwise this is some serious baggage that would be very hard, if not impossible to handle.
As for needing to be "hot", like the irresponsible comments made by a few here, ignore such statements. If you take care of your health and are not overweight I would see no impediments. Widow women have a lot going for them to attract mature males. Avoid juvenile guys out just for sex.
Never hide your status of being Widowed by claiming to be Single with child. Single women with children are the least desirable women for mature men to form relationships with IMO. Who wants to put up with the Drama? As for Divorced women the question is why the divorce? If it is truly not their fault then perhaps they can be a desirable women to form a relationship with.
I am also a widow, 7 years now. I suggest as Mikala you join one of the support groups. I used 'groww.com' They have different groups but I usually just chatted with the ppl in the general forum. It is online and moderated and everyone there is so nice and they understand.
I also agree many of the men you meet will just want sex and aren't looking for a relationship. Be sure you decide what you are looking for when you date. Also don't make any changes for at least a year if you can help it, such as selling a house or moving to a new city.
We have a grief group here on CD but the problem is you have to wait for someone to check in. Groww has ppl online to chat 24/7. They even have meetups.
I have dated a lot but just haven't found the one. I dated a widower for a year. I think it helped us both to move on. I think it is harder to find someone as a widow because you didn't want to be here. Look for a group such as parents without partners. Good way to meet others.
As for needing to be "hot", like the irresponsible comments made by a few here, ignore such statements. If you take care of your health and are not overweight I would see no impediments. Widow women have a lot going for them to attract mature males. Avoid juvenile guys out just for sex.
I had only written about my point of view (but never said all men are that way). I did not feel the need to preface it by saying "this is just my opinion" or "in my view." I assumed any reader, with reasonable comprehension skills, would not assume that I meant everybody has the same standards.
Far as your views, of course some couples do not need to be attracted to each other--which I don't think is healthy--and are fine without intimacy but, I could not lie to anybody. Being honest with myself and my date or potential fiance, is crucial: if my date and I are going to move forward, I need to find her attractive. To each his own.
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