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Has anyone taken a long break from dating and for what reasons?
Is it just me or does dating seem like taking up a second job? Even when you're just "being yourself" and not trying to put on a fake show YOU DO STILL have to be somewhat engaging and have something to offer or else what's the point for the other person to continue seeing you right?
Some quick info about me, I'm 29 and I'm also experimenting with the no fap movement you might have heard about men doing (no masturbating). I'm coming up on week 3 and I think this is the longest I've gone since I've started at like 14 years old lol... I guess you can say I'm trying to channel my energy in more productive means.
Yes I still find women incredibly sexy and even after sleeping with about 50 in my life I still don't have a satisfied appetite, but now at my age I feel I'm in a critical transition period where energy is so precious that the endless pursuit of just trying to get laid is not the best return of investment anymore... I workout regularly and feel just as good as I did in my early 20's so it's not like I'm depressed or live an unhealthy lifestyle but I really don't have any motivation to date or even try anymore with girls. It's just like I've been there done that and I want to move on to bigger and better things like figure a way to significantly make more money...
The notion of having a women and partner to try to tackle the world together sounds like wishful thinking, I just don't see that happening especially in today's dating climate. Women defiantly don't want a man they have to mother or motivate, then want the complete package, a man who is already self motivated and self sufficient.
Throughout my entire 20's I really haven't had many serious relationships other then a few at most, the majority being flings and with older cougars. Am I finally maturing and becoming a more seasoned man? lol
Side question: anyone else experiment with cutting out porn and masturbation?
LOL. You had me at no fap movement. Never heard of it but isn't it liberating? Especially for your poor hands. LOL.
It also force you to take REAL effort to get a girl. Especially doing the bolded one above. Good job. I support no fap movement! Long live!! LOOOOOOL.
I need to state by no means was I an overly compulsive masturbator, but yes you are right on, completely cutting that out forces me to make a real effort now if I want to get a release in lol........
I think overall it's been a positive experience so far.
I've taken breaks from dating a lot. I took the longest break after a long relationship ended. When I was doing online dating and speed dating more recently, I would spend one month on a dating site, then three to four months off. And I did so for the reason you said. It was a lot of work and it ate up a lot of my time. And not just the dates themselves but reading all those profiles, sending messages, getting messages and reading them, etc.
One thing I did note and probably the reason my boyfriend and I hit it off right away. Our first meet and greet date WASN'T work/didn't feel like work. I did get to "be myself" and so did he. It was great, not a chore. I suppose that's what chemistry is. In any case, I thought it was worth noting as I think it’s a good sign you've finally met the right person.
I too didn't have many dates in my late teens/early 20s. I just wasn't popular with men. I had no dates for a seven year stretch from my late teens to early 20s. Not even a prom or homecoming dance date. So I can relate to no serious relationships too. I think those of us who, in what one might call our "formative dating years" didn't date a lot, tend to be a bit more independent (romantically) from the opposite sex. I've said it before and I will say it again, if anything happens to my boyfriend or happens between us, I am done. It took me five of dating years to find my current boyfriend from the end of my last relationship. I like men, always will and it has nothing to do with them. It's that I really don't care to search again (besides, I would always be comparing others to him I think. I can't imagine a better, kinder, smarter, more "has his life together" man who also has so much in common with me that it's like we've always been together).
The notion of having a women and partner to try to tackle the world together sounds like wishful thinking, I just don't see that happening especially in today's dating climate. Women defiantly don't want a man they have to mother or motivate, then want the complete package, a man who is already self motivated and self sufficient.
"Women don't want a man they have to mother or motivate"? What? OP, why would they? What kind of an expectation is that? Why would grown men need or want mothering or motivating? Your observation says a lot more about today's men than today's women. Women have never wanted an adult child, it has nothing to do with "today".
What your comment leads me to conclude, is that there are a lot of guys in their 20's, who are more into video gaming than facing reality, getting jobs, and taking on adult responsibilities. The 20's must be a real washout for women looking to date.
Honestly, just focus on doing what you are doing to make yourself happy. I wouldn't worry about meeting a girl, and let it just happen when it happens. The best relationships are those that happen when you least expect it.
I have taken breaks from dating. I actually didn't talk to a woman for an entire year cause it was drilled nowadays that saying hi to a woman is creepy, asking for her number is creepy, and so on. After that I just didn't bother nor care and didn't approach strangers. To this day, unless there is clear cut interest with a woman, I don't talk to them.
I have taken breaks from dating. I actually didn't talk to a woman for an entire year cause it was drilled nowadays that saying hi to a woman is creepy, asking for her number is creepy, and so on. After that I just didn't bother nor care and didn't approach strangers. To this day, unless there is clear cut interest with a woman, I don't talk to them.
I honestly believe I remember reading some of your posts saying the exact same thing on a different thread in this same relationship forum..
1. The masturbation thing probably isn't for this forum.
2. Of course women don't want to mother grown men. Do you want to have to father a grown woman? Drag her through everything, make appointments for her and remind her of them, give her an allowance and budget it for her, remind her when to wash the dishes, get her up in the morning because she needs to get ready for work...? Fight her battles for her, speak on her behalf to friends and the boss? That's sort of an odd complaint, TBH. Adults do want other adults. Women work hard, we have hobbies, we have lives going on. Who has time to "motivate" a grown man to do the basics?
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