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Old 03-20-2018, 11:06 PM
 
Location: morrow,ga
1,081 posts, read 1,813,613 times
Reputation: 1325

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Some more dating coach advice--

Dating coaches recommend that the only time, after getting a woman's number, that you should call or text her is to set up a date to see her. They say you shouldn't call or text just to make small talk and ask how her day is going on a day to day basis because women don't like that. Then after you went on one date don't call or text her until you are ready to make the next date and leave it at that.


Is this advice wrong? Why don't women want you to contact them on a regular basis and ask how they are doing? Is that boring or too nice?
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Old 03-20-2018, 11:21 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,523 posts, read 3,407,262 times
Reputation: 6031
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeCastro View Post
Some more dating coach advice--

Dating coaches recommend that the only time, after getting a woman's number, that you should call or text her is to set up a date to see her. They say you shouldn't call or text just to make small talk and ask how her day is going on a day to day basis because women don't like that. Then after you went on one date don't call or text her until you are ready to make the next date and leave it at that.


Is this advice wrong? Why don't women want you to contact them on a regular basis and ask how they are doing? Is that boring or too nice?
Lol, I would really not listen to that advice at all.

I've had NO issues calling/texting in-between dates. The trick is mirroring the sort of communication she's bringing out. Having a balance and doing that, you'll be fine.

That's not to say that there aren't women out there who aren't really big callers/texters in-between dates, but the dating coaches' advice isn't universal to all.
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Old 03-21-2018, 04:14 AM
 
224 posts, read 229,078 times
Reputation: 368
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeCastro View Post
Some more dating coach advice--

Dating coaches recommend that the only time, after getting a woman's number, that you should call or text her is to set up a date to see her. They say you shouldn't call or text just to make small talk and ask how her day is going on a day to day basis because women don't like that. Then after you went on one date don't call or text her until you are ready to make the next date and leave it at that.


Is this advice wrong? Why don't women want you to contact them on a regular basis and ask how they are doing? Is that boring or too nice?
If you want to become a male in her circle she "talks" to for the sake of talking, then contact her on a regular basis.

If you want to become a male in her circle she does everything else with, then don't contact her until you're ready to arrange everything else.
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Old 03-21-2018, 05:28 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,795 posts, read 12,035,581 times
Reputation: 30431
What's up with you and pushing dating coach advice? How about navigating the world and figuring things out for yourself, because the coaching advice you're sharing is garbage.
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Old 03-21-2018, 05:34 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Stop listening to moronic "dating coaches". Stop reading that crud, stop watching it.


Treat people like people. Individuals are all over the place, there is no formula. Interact with people as the individuals they are. Anyone that tells you that there is one way to be for all guys (or even for the guys who are their definition of "successful" for all the women they want, are straight up selling you garbage.
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Old 03-21-2018, 05:57 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,723,158 times
Reputation: 16662
Dude, go live life and figure it out for yourself. Those "coaches" just want money.
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Old 03-21-2018, 06:05 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,929,349 times
Reputation: 3074
I’m a huge proponent of not getting to know someone over the phone. Talk to them a little bit, but don’t spend hours and hours talking to them or texting them every time you have a free minute, and absolutely keep the phone communication to a minimum if you haven’t had a date with them yet.
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Old 03-21-2018, 06:41 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,328,763 times
Reputation: 32257
Well, gee, I guess I am not up to date:

If you meet someone and you are interested in each other, why wouldn't you want to talk or spend time together as much as possible? Phone or in person.

Who is making up all these rules, anyway? I haven't had a huge number of relationships but every time I see another set of these "rules for dating in the 2010s" it seems that I failed to follow most of them, yet had happy relationships anyway.

Married for 30 years now.
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Old 03-21-2018, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,350,394 times
Reputation: 24251
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeCastro View Post
Some more dating coach advice--

Dating coaches recommend that the only time, after getting a woman's number, that you should call or text her is to set up a date to see her. They say you shouldn't call or text just to make small talk and ask how her day is going on a day to day basis because women don't like that. Then after you went on one date don't call or text her until you are ready to make the next date and leave it at that.


Is this advice wrong? Why don't women want you to contact them on a regular basis and ask how they are doing? Is that boring or too nice?
Dump the dating coaches.

How many posts do we see on CD that ask, "Is s/he not interested. S/He never calls or texts except to set up a date."?

Again, dump the dating coaches. Unless you are on the Autistic spectrum and have difficulty interacting with other people, go with what your gut tells you is right.

If a person tells you that you're contacting them too much or dumps you because of it, it wasn't the right person.

Who in the world doesn't want a nice person around?

I understand the psychology behind this stupid advice, but it really isn't relevant in dating a new person.
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Old 03-21-2018, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,377,752 times
Reputation: 50380
Early on, you do want to stress dates and not everyday conversation. I'm a big fan of building anticipation - but that means you can't just have a date every 2 weeks because then there's no momentum. If for some reason you're out of town or whatever and can't have a date then sure, communicate in another way.

But understand that if you have no basis for a relationship from actual in-person dates, mere texting isn't going to build anything substantial, it's just a placeholder that will only hold for so long. After you have a few dates within a couple weeks you can start adding in more informal communication to bridge between dates.
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